The Dentist

Yesterday, I rode my bike to the dentist. I had what I thought was a loose crown and hoped that Dr. J could glue it back on before it fell off. It wasn't that easy. I ended up with my first tooth extraction. I felt a little shaky after the ordeal and didn't feel that I could ride home so I called my knight in shining armour. He came, loaded my trusty steed into the trunk of his car and took me home. While I rested in the living room, he made supper: Lasagne and ceasar salad. To use Heather's words, I think I'll keep him.

When I and my siblings were young, my folks, even though they were poor immigrants made sure that we went to the dentist every 6 months. It probably had something to do with the fact that they both had dentures.

Dr. H was a nice enough man and believed in "no pain" dentistry. When he found a cavity, he'd start drilling until I jumped out of the chair, and then he'd stop, fill the hole and send me on my way. My friends would talk about needles their dentists would give them, including all the gory details as young people are wont to do, and I was pleased that Dr. H was kind enough not to use them.

I found a dentist near my home when I moved to Winnipeg. I forget his name but I'll call him, Dr. Drill'nfill. He informed me that I had 17 cavities and they all needed filling. He drilled four troughs in my teeth, filled them up and sent me on my way. He was the first dentist to tell me that I should floss although after his work, there were few spaces left between my teeth.

Not long after Dr. Drill'nfill, I started going to Dr. J. He is a good dentist and over the years has redone much of the work of Dr. Drill'nfill and Dr. H. Dr. J is not fast, but he is good. I often think that he would be a good sculptor, the way he works on my teeth to make them just right. He has never said anything to me about my previous dentists but he must wonder about them when he's doing work on my mouth.

So, I think I can thank my 2 previous dentists for my most recent problem. Dr. H for not fixing it well enough in the first place and Dr. Drill'nfill for being less than careful. Dr. Drill'nfill retired shortly after he finished working on my mouth and Dr. H went into real estate. Hmmm.

I have a lot of faith in Dr. J and am taking his advice on how to proceed. He recommended an implant, something he doesn't do himself but he has a brother-in-law in Beausejour who can do it cheap...

Are we getting dumber?

In yesterday's Winnipeg Free Press:

Child Seat Removal
Bumbo International, manufactureer of the popular Bumbo Baby Sitter, has announced it is temporarily removing the popular sitter from store shelves to update the instructions.

The company says it is not defective and does not need to be returned. Therefore, no refunds are being offered.

The company is strengthening the wording of the instructions to emphasise that the Bumbo Baby Seat should never be used on any elevated surface such as a table, countertop or chair because children can get out of the seat and fall.

Just thought I'd do my part to let parents know the dangers of Bumbo Baby Seats.

Thursday Thirteen

1. The rain has finally stopped and the sun is shining. Thank goodness for that.
2. Went to the funeral of a woman yesterday who should have had another 30 years to live if you believe the statistics. There were a lot of people there, including members of "The Gospel Choir," 2 of whom sang a solo. I would have loved to see the whole choir do a number.
3. CJ's grandpa's grave was near to his mom's. And there, on Grandpa's grave marker was the name of his wife, her date of birth and a space for her death. I wonder what she thinks about when she sees that.
4. Kristen tells me that the funeral home limo is pretty sweet.
5. When I die, I want live music at my funeral. And hymns. I want "Abide With Me" to be sung. No canned music for me.
6. There also has to be good food for afterwards, like wraps and fruit and hummus and black bean dip. Maybe Ira's Deli or some similar place could do the catering. Is it okay to have Jews cater a Christian wedding?
7. I have never stood at a graveside ceremony where I thought that the weather was great. It always seems to be raining, or freezing or like yesterday, windy.
8. Advice to those of you who never want your picture taken: Please, let people take your picture, even though you don't like it. That way, there'll be photos for them to look at when your time comes.
9. More advice: Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat healthy. Enjoy life. Laugh.
10. I didn't know CJ's mom but several people commented on the fact that she would say "Mercy!" when the situation warranted it.
11. When people think they "have to be strong" when someone near to them has died, what exactly does that mean?
12. I hope CJ and his dad will continue to allow people to help them out and support them once everyone leaves.
13. For me, there is much comfort in the fact that I believe there is life after death. I don't really know what that will look like but it makes death seem less final.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I will never forget that night.

The phone rang three times at 3:08 AM and I realized that Kristen was not yet home. No message was left but I called her anyway.

"Mom, CJ's mom just died. I don't know what to do!"

Neither did I but I went to the hospital to see if there was anything I could do. It was pissing rain and CJ was outside because he couldn't stand to be in the emergency waiting room one more minute. All I could do was to put the umbrella over him even though he didn't seem to notice the pouring rain.

And then, "My mom just died. I can't believe it. My mom just died." And I glimpsed a little boy who didn't know what to do, didn't know if he could survive without his mom.

I made some cookies, sent over a lasagne and made a donation to the Canadian Diabetes Society.

It all seems so insignificant.

I just don't know what to do.

I have been home for 2 weeks and while I have felt a desire to post something, I hardly know where to start.

How do you write about something that was better than you expected, something that changed you in ways you can't even express? How do you describe the pain you felt, in your butt, in your heart, in your mind, biking up yet another hill, wondering if you could make it?

Or the moment of absolute panic when you see your husband just ahead of you, flying through the air like a (very large) bird, over his handlebars and landing smack on his chest? (There's no picture of that because it all happened so quickly. Fortunately, he was fine and got back on his bike after about 15 minutes.)

This was what he had to show for it a few days later.

Words cannot express the experience of sitting in the shade of a 12th century castle, looking over a gorgeous valley, eating a picnic lunch supplied by villagers all over the age of 70.

How can you describe the Colleseum, the Forum and the Pantheon?

What can you say when you walk on streets worn by the footsteps of millions of people and wonder if the apostles Peter and Paul walked on the same roads?

Or celebrating your 28th anniversary by enjoying an exquisite glass of Italian wine in a lovely courtyard? How do you talk about the 8 people, who you will likely never meet again, who were your constant companions, best friends and all around amazing people?

I find that words really cannot describe it all.

Buonjourno

We have found ourselves a little internet cafe and thought that this would be a good time to create a new post.

We're having a wonderful time. The weather has been great for the whole week and a half since we've been here. The food is amazing although I think I like the cappuccini in Winnipeg better than here. They're never hot enough.

We finished the biking part of our trip and now our butts (can I use that word on a family blog?) are getting a much deserved rest. We have seen the most amazing sights and when we get back, I'll post some pictures.

The biking was a huge challenge for me. It felt like I did a marathon every day but it was all worth it and I would do it again without a doubt.

I hear Dixie's doing well and the mice are beginning to party at our house so everything is normal. I think Dixie and I will be doing some mouse hunting when I get back.

Wes says (and I agree) that this trip has exceeded our expectations. The only thing missing is those people nearest and dearest to us. Boy would it be nice to have them all here!

Gotta go now.

Ciao

Arrivederci

The bags are being packed.
Last minute instructions have been given to those who will be left behind.
Some laundry and cleaning is being taken care of right now.
We're ready.
One more sleep.

I won't be posting for about 3 weeks, although if I get to an internet cafe and find that I have the time I just may post a thought or two...

Have a great September!

Ciao

Happpy Birthday Wes!

Another year older, another year wiser and better looking each day.

Happy birthday my love!

I wasn't going to post anything else because it would just repeat what I said last year but I had to say something once I saw the picture. Take a look at those sunglasses. Are they cool or what! That's one of the things I love about Wes. He does care about how he looks but is also willing to use what he's got, not really caring what people think. He was proud of the fact that these sunglasses were listed at $12.00 and were on sale for only $8.00!

Thankfully, I was able to convince him to get some new sunglasses.

What a Gift

They told me to be at Michele's at 7:30 and we'd head out from there for the birthday gift from my sisters. The appointment was for 8:00 PM.

They're not usually too secretive but they seemed to want to keep this a surprise for as long as possible. I can trust my sisters so I was pretty sure that they were not taking me for liposuction, or botox injections or an eyebrow lift. I didn't think it was a manicure or pedicure because although that would be lovely, I thought my sisters would want to give me something more permanent for my 50th birthday.

We went to an older area of the city. Not exactly dangerous but certainly a place where I'd probably not want to carry a purse while walking on the sidewalk at night. Some of the houses looked, um, unloved and uncared for but the one we approached actually looked cute, with lights on and lovely filmy curtains in the front window.

We knocked on the door and a pretty, funky young woman answered. She looked familiar to me but I couldn't remember where I'd seen her before. I thought that she had an artistic look about her so maybe that was what was familiar. Michele joked about a Thai massage and we (well, I) giggled nervously. Ha ha. Thai massage. That's a good one. You two aren't leaving me here are you? She seems nice and all but I sure don't want to get naked and be walked on while you guys are watching or leaving. There's a limit.

I still hadn't figured out why we were there so they spelled it out for me. "We are commissioning these people to create a unique piece of jewellry for you."

Wow! I have NEVER commissioned ANYTHING! I felt so...cultured. And honoured. And loved.

It was then that I remembered that I had seen her and admired her beautiful work at the Folk Festival this summer. She showed us what she had, we saw her little workshop and we talked about colours, metals, and the things that I liked. She seemed to understand me and her preliminary sketches affirmed that. We talked about swirls and colours, pinwheels, stars, flowers, glitter, shiny, gold, silver and all sorts of things. And she told us that she has an idea of what she can do. I could just tell that she could see the finished product in her mind although she warned us that these things will often look a little different than expected because of all the different colours, metals and finishes that are put together. I think that is one of the great things about this whole process. You put all the things you find beautiful into something and the artist creates a piece that has never been created before. The finished product is a surprise and more beautiful than what you first expected.

So, in a few weeks, I will be wearing a beautiful, unique necklace and earring set that was created by a gifted artist, commissioned by my sisters, just for me. It doesn't get much better than that.

Delighful.

First Day of School

Then:
Back pack containing pencil crayons, markers, erasers, inside shoes, pencils, box of Kleenex, lunch box (crackers & cheese, fruit roll up, apple, juice box)

Now:
Purse containing cell phone, lip gloss, driver's licence, body spray, make up. Does not contain food other than a pack of gum or a favourite type of candy

The blogging world has been quiet for the last few weeks. I have had such a delightful (I love that word. I'm going to use it more often) summer and haven't felt too inclined to write about it. I've just been enjoying it.

Life is getting back to normal these days. Mauricio, from Brazil came last Wednesday and Medardo, who was here last year, came on Saturday night. They have already been to Polo Park, The Forks and out for a movie. Last night they came home with 2 friends, who are also international students. I don't know where they meet these guys because school hasn't even started yet. There must be something, a smell or sound, that they all emit so that they can recognize each other.

Tim is enjoying his work at Starbucks. It's so good to see him enjoying what he's doing. He was having trouble motivating himself to get to work when he was with the construction company.

Kristen will be starting at U of Manitoba on Tuesday. She too is excited.

Of course, this week will be another full one for me as I am preparing for our trip to Italy. We leave in 6 days and are both really looking forward to it. We will be stopping for several days in the Netherlands and spending some time with our extended family. The opportunity to just "drop in" for a few days is a gift. It will be a great way to end our Italy trip.

Ciao!

Purging and Cleaning

It's strange but it seems like my sister and I end up doing the clean-up/purge/cleanse thing at the same time. She now has a large claw foot bathtub in her front yard. I have 3 garbage bags by the back.

Today, we moved Tim into another bedroom. I just love doing that because the bedroom that he just vacated is now spiffy clean and absolutely clutter free. His "new" bedroom is the same. He was quite willing to dispose of some of his collection stuff which made this clutter-hater happy. In the end, we had 3 garbage bags for the trash and 2 bags for the thrift store.

I just realized that more than half of the bedrooms in this house are dust free and clean.

Dixie had a very busy day too. Tim's old bedroom is on the 3rd floor of this old house and she had to follow me every time I went up or down the stairs, which was often. She also had to sniff everything. EVERYTHING. Now and then she'd sneak something and race down the stairs to get away from me. Most often it's underwear. She prefers Kristen's but is also happy to grab Wes's too. Yuck. And they say dog's mouths are cleaner than human's. Not my dog's.

I'd love it if every room in this house could be clutter free and spiffy clean at the same time. Maybe some day but for now, I've got to take a break.

I just downloaded a new program (Google Earth) on my computer. It may have not been such a good idea b e c a u s e e v e r y t h i n g i s soooooooooooooooooooooooo slooooooooooow n o w.

Sometimes, life gets in the way of our plans

I got a phone call today from my aunt in Holland. Her name is Mies and she and I share the same birthday, although she was born 24 years before I was. It was wonderful to hear her voice and to talk to her.

Mies has travelled a fair bit and lived overseas for a while and as a result, her command of the english language is very good. When she and her husband were here visiting us, I loved going out with them because they seemed quintessentially British, even though they are Dutch. They are delightful people.

Unfortunately, Mies was the bearer of bad news. It seems that her sister, the aunt we were planning to visit in Northern England in a few weeks is not well. Not well at all.

So, we're going to have to change our plans. I am disappointed. One of the things I was looking forward to was having a pint in a neighbourhood pub. To see the Scottish highlands and the moors is also on my list of things I'd like to do one day. I would have loved to spend time with my aunt and uncle but of course, we never plan on illnesses and I know that she would like nothing better than to be feeling well enough to have us visit.

My travel agent (Wes) is on line right now, looking at other options. Perhaps we'll spend a few more days in Italy. We'd love to go to Venice, or spend some more time in Florence. I'm sure there's lots we can do.

My aunt will recover from this illness. It is serious but not life threatening and perhaps, another time we'll find ourselves in Northern England with her and her husband.

In the meantime, we will pray for a speedy recovery.

Who'd a Thought it...

If you would have told me a short 2 years ago that I would be cleaning up my own dog's diarrhea 3 mornings in a row, I would have told you that you were crazy.

Aaaaaaaah

Happy birthday to me....

My dear sister-in-law suggested that I need to write a better post so that she wouldn't have to leave a Happy Birthday wish on my last post (the Funeral one).

Here it is.

It was a wonderful day, with lots of wonderful people, wonderful food prepared by 2 of the best chefs in this city (my dear sisters) and wonderful gifts.

I'll post a bit more later because right now, I'm tired.

Thanks to all who made this a great day!

Playing All Day

I am playing the piano at a funeral tonight. I do not know the man who died but I do know his brother. While this is a sad occasion for the man's family and friends, I am not emotionally involved.

So, today, for much of the day, I am practising. This man was an Elvis fan so I will be playing a lot of Elvis's "religious" stuff. I am having a blast, playing old hymns.

While I was playing today, a thought occurred to me. What if I practised several hours every day and then offered my services to funeral homes around the city to provide live music? That would be a sweet job, I think. Playing piano happens to be one thing that I love and never tire of doing. And I love funerals. They are terribly sad occasions, there's no doubt about that. I know that even tonight, I'll have to keep my emotions in check because I know that I will be moved. I always am.

At a funeral there is no denial. People for once in their lives are real. There's no denying death. There's no denying the sorrow, the pain, and the emptiness caused by someone dying. We cry together. At a funeral we acknowlege that death sucks and we can finally admit that there's nothing we can do about it anymore. We surrender. Finally.

A funeral is a time where we slow down for a moment and take stock of our own lives. We wonder what people will say about us, when our time comes. Will we have made an impact? Will people miss us? How many people will show up? Have we changed the world, or at least, our corner of the world? And what about life after death? What will that look like?

I have been to lots of funerals and at every single one, whether the person was "religious" or not there is a sense that the deceased is "in a better place." Those of us who are still living find comfort in that fact. I always feel bad for the friends and family of the people who have specified they don't want a funeral. There is no opportunity to get together, to laugh and cry and remember the person who died. I think we all need that kind of closure.

Today, I'm going to do my best to help Joe and his family remember the best things about his brother. And I hope in some small way, the music that I play will bring a measure of peace and even serenity during a hard time.

Procrastination

The in-laws are coming for a little visit in a couple of weeks. My house is in need of a good cleaning so why am I posting twice in one hour?

Brandon

As many of you faithful readers of this blog know, we are going on a European trip of a life time in a little more than one month. Part of that trip includes a 7 day biking excursion.

Every time I tell anyone about biking in Tuscany, they look at me and say, "Tuscany's pretty hilly." I've been doing a fair bit of biking here in Winnipeg but hills are virtually non existent in this city-although I can successfully bike up the Chief Peguis trail bridge now, without stopping.


So, knowing that we really needed some hill training, Wes and I put the bikes on the bike carrier and drove west.


Our first stop was Spruce Hills Provincial park. The map showed a biking/hiking trail which was 13 km long. It seemed like a great place to start. As we were getting ready to start, we saw a couple of young women who were just finishing up. I asked them how the trail was and they said it was pretty good, a little hilly and took them about 2 hours. I should have questioned the fact that it took 2 young, athletic looking women 2 hours to bike 13 kilometres but for some reason I didn't. That was my first mistake.


The next mistake was deciding that I could continue onto the third loop of the trail after doing the first and second. My third mistake was forgetting that I had to get back to the starting point. Getting there was tough enough. Going back was hell. I stopped counting my mistakes after the third one.


It was hot. It was bumpy. My butt started hurting. I ran out of water. We went up hill more than we went down hill. There was one spot where there was a sign stating that you had to walk your bike down into the gully. It was as steep as a flight of stairs only it was sandy. It took all of my might to keep from sliding all the way down on my already painful petunia. As I was slipping and sliding down, I tried to keep thoughts of the fact that somehow, I had to get back up, out of my head.


If I had been in a better frame of mind (or perhaps in better shape, like a 20 year old), I might have enjoyed the wild flowers, the babbling brook and the lovely prairie landscape. However, I was not in a good frame of mind and swore to myself that I would never, ever do such a crazy thing again. My legs were killing me, my heart was pounding out of my chest and I was thirsty. Wes, who was usually ahead of me could hear my grunting, groaning and cursing

But, finish it I did. Good thing I took these pictures because I was in no mood to appreciate the beauty of anything that day. It does look like a lovely trail, doesn't it?

Ha Ha Surprised you!

I haven't been posting much lately. It's not that I have been busy or anything. I just don't think I have all that much to say.

Kristen called from work on Saturday and told Tim to ask me to call her. She had a 24 hour flu thing last week so I thought that maybe she just wanted to tell me that she still wasn't feeling good. Her request actually was that I buy the new Harry Potter book so that she could read it.

Her loving father went out to buy it and she spent 2 days reading it. I could let Tim read it now-he'll have it done in a day or two as well. I haven't started reading it yet because I know that I will not be able to put it down and everything else that I am responsible for will slide. While the hype about this book is a little extreme, I'm glad to see that a book of all things is getting the kind of attention that it is.

We have a beautiful backyard pool. I am so grateful for it. It really helps to make this hot, humid weather not only bearable, but enjoyable. We see the pool as our alternative to owning a cottage; less upkeep and not nearly as expensive. I do love Winnipeg in the summer and I think I would miss all that happens here if we were "at the lake" all summer.

Last week I enjoyed an evening out with Frank, Alisha, George, Yvonne and Wes at the Fringe Festival. It was my first time and I really had a good time. I'd like to go to some more shows this week before it's all over. The Fringe is something that I love about living in the city. It's neat walking downtown at 10:00 PM with the streets full of people having a good time.

The 2 shows we watched were at the same venue. While we were watching the first show, tickets for the 2nd show were being sold. That left us with a bit of a dilema. So Frank, resourceful man that he is, gave someone $60.00 (cash) to buy tickets for us. I was so impressed! This person worked at the pub where the shows were being held but it was a little risky to hand over that cash. The guy came through for us and we ended up with great seats. Yay Frank!

This hot weather is making it tough for us to do a lot of training for our bike trip. Next weekend we'll head out to Brandon for a couple of days in search of hills. While I know that training will make our trip in the fall more fun, I definitely am a "fair weather biker."

I would now like to write a paragraph that will fit all these random thoughts together into a concise, cohesive little piece but I can't.

The end.

Folk Festival Highlights

There are so many memories floating around in my head. I'm just going to write some of them down.

Crooked Still

Cat Empire

Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir
Chirgilchin

Randy Newman

Michael Franti and Spearhead

Ndidi Onukwulu

Ollabelle

That 1 Guy

There are a lot of unique clothes walking around at the Folk Festival. I noticed an amazing skirt, made out of ties and pointed it out to my sisters. As we were looking at the skirt, we realized that we knew the body, inside the skirt. It was non other than Joyce. She is a famous person and it seems that people recognize her wherever she goes.

The pasties. Ugh. I know someone who called them t** stickers. Crude yes. But they were ugly. I hope they don't come back next year.

Finding a great spot to watch a show.

The workshop with Crooked Still, Cat Empire, That 1 Guy and the Dhuks was the most incredible event ever. Words cannot describe what happened there. That alone was worth the price of admission. And seeing my daughter, son and nephews flushed with the pleasure of watching that show was unforgettable.

The food was great! No crappy fast food at this festival. I had a samosa, roti, roasted vegetable pannini, vegetarian wrap and a whale tale (not all at the same time).

Just laying around on a blanket, and when we got tired of that, moving onto a chair, and back to the blanket. You get the picture.

The music. Every band and individual had something interesting and unique to offer.

Every single one.

Tonight...

Tonight, I'm going to a concert at the West End Cultural Centre. The performer is Fred Eaglesmith, an old friend and classmate of mine.

Wes has a dinner engagement so he will be coming later and we were trying to decide how he could find me as it is rush seating.

I told him I'd be in the front, in the mosh pit. Wes found that comment to be uproariously funny.

One day I'll surprise him.

The Bike Trip

On Sunday, we biked for one and a half hours (25 km), up hills and down (Manitoba style hills).



Boy do I have a lot of training to do.

The two high school students who live here have finished their exams and are livin' the easy life. In just over a week they will be heading back home-Mexico for Medardo and Brazil for Leo.

They are doing what teens do, sleeping in till 12:00 PM and then staying up till about 2:00 or 3:00 AM. Last night, they kept me up. The floors in this old house squeak and the doors make noise when they open and close so even if someone's being quiet, it can sound really noisy at 2:00 in the morning.

I guess I better talk to them today. They'd be horrified to know that they kept me up last night but I need more than 4 hours of sleep a night. I really don't want to be a stick in the mud but I'm gonna be a little cranky if tonight's the same.

By my calculations, there were about 4 years in my life as a parent when the kids didn't get me up or keep me up at night. The two youngest kids didn't sleep through the night until they were 8 or so and then a few years later, the oldest started going out at night and I would lie away until he got home.

And now, Medardo and Leo, enjoying their last week in Canada before heading off to their homes are keeping me up. They won't have the freedom with their families that they have here. One night, just for fun they went to Tim Hortons for coffee at midnight. I would have loved to do that as a teen and I don't think they'll be able to do something like that when they get home. So I want them to have fun, enjoy this last week together. They have become good friends and except for a planned visit by Medardo to Brazil next January, they won't see each other for a long time. I think they are creating memories and I don't want to stand in the way of that.

But I need my sleep so I think the memories will have to be created before midnight. They'll be fine with that and I will get a few more hours of sleep.

Yawn. I'm going to try to have a nap this afternoon.

The Canoe

As mentioned in my last post, the canoe is one of the 7 wonders of Canada. That reminded me of a funny story.

We were camping one summer in Northern Ontario. We had a tent trailer, 4 children, enough bikes for all and on top of that, we also brought along a canoe. We are notorious for taking EVERYTHING along when we camp.

I'm not sure just where the canoe came from. I seem to remember that someone gave it to us. And no wonder. That thing weighed a ton! But it was a gift and we were camping in the great Canadian north so we had to take it along.


Tim and Kristen must have been 4 and 6 at the time and very excited about going in the canoe. In fact it was all they talked about as soon as they learned that they could "have a ride." They were none too patient as we set up camp and were disappointed that they would have to wait until the next day before their inaugural paddle.


There was no way all 6 of us could fit into the canoe so we asked some friends who were camping with us to watch our two older children while we prepared to take the 2 little ones out. First, we had to drag the thing (remember it weighed a ton) to the water's edge, all the while trying to keep Tim and Kristen in our sites at all times. If there were walls to bouce off of, they would have. They were beside themselves with anticipation. As a matter of fact, there were quite a few campers watching us; Wes and I grunting and groaning, Kristen running around us like the Tazmanian Devil and Tim bouncing along like Tigger. We made quite a spectacle.


We got to the water's edge, put the life jackets on and proceeded to enter the canoe. We had to remind the kids that they couldn't jump because if you've been in a canoe, you know they're pretty tippy. Wes held it steady while I helped Tim in and then Kristen. Then I hopped in.

That was when all hell broke lose. Kristen grabbed the sides of the canoe with a screech. When Wes let go of the canoe and hopped in, the screaming began in earnest. Both kids were terrified. "We're gonna tip! LET ME OUT OF THIS CANOE! I DON'T LIKE THIS DADDY. LET ME OUT! People left their campsites and rushed down to the riverbank to see what was going on, concerned that we were drowning our kids. We tried to shush them but there was no way they could stop. They were pretty hysterical and tried to climb over each other to get to me. Of course, that made the canoe even tippier and caused them to scream louder.

Wes managed to paddle about 4 metres or so before we headed back to shore, dragged the canoe onto the river bank and hiked back to the campsite. I seem to recall that the whole excursion lasted about 4 hours.

We left the canoe behind. Never even took it home.

Seven Wonders of Canada

If you are Canadian, you may have heard about the Seven Wonders of Canada contest that's been going on for several weeks here in our wonderful country. It has been a fascinating trip for me, through this great country of ours.

I think it all started as a fun little game, an opportunity for us to highlight some of the amazing sites and places in Canada. I'm sure the organizers never expected this little exercise would generate so much interest.

People, wrote, called and emailed with their own idea of what makes Canada wonderful. One million people sent in 25,000 submissions of what they thought should make the final list. I am glad that I was not a judge because every single suggestion is worthy to be a "Canadian Wonder." While I think the judges thought this would be a fun thing to be part of, it became clear that it was hard for them. How do you decide between The Cabot Trail, Bay of Fundy and Niagara Falls? How can you not include Drumheller or Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo Jump? Or the Winnipeg Folk Fest, or Churchill or the Red River Floodway?

In the end, the Seven Wonders of Canada are:

1. The Canoe
2. Niagara Falls
3. Prairie Sky
4. Pier 21
5. The Rockies
6. The Igloo
7. Old Quebec City

I am so happy that the Priarie Sky was chosen. There is nothing like it and I am thrilled that I can experience it every day. Before I moved to the prairies, I had no idea the sky could be so big, so blue, so changing. It truly is a wonder of Canada.

I have had the honour to paddle a canoe, to visit Niagara Falls and ski the Rockies. I have not yet been to Quebec City but I expect that Wes and I will make it there before too long. And believe it or not, I have never seen a "real" igloo. Around here, people tend to build quinzhees, just for fun. The snow is a little more suited to building quinzhees.

This morning Shelagh Rogers was interviewing one of the people who nominated Pier 21 in Halifax and I thought of my dad who was one of the millions of immigrants who landed there. Pier 21 has been completely refurbished and now is a museum.

I decided that I must visit Pier 21 with my dad sometime soon. He hasn't talked too much about his trip across the ocean and the landing but I think that a visit to this historic place would give us a great opportunity to talk about his first impressions of Canada and his feelings when he first stepped on Canadian soil.

Dad's a rich man now and I'm sure he's looking for ways to spend his money. ;) I think he should buy a plane ticket to Halifax and I think his children (all of whom read this blog) need to buy tickets for themselves and accompany him.

This is our heritage, this is our history.

The Menu of our Authentic Mexican Dinner

We had 3 Mexicans, one Brazilian, one German and one Turkish teen here around the supper table today as well as us, the Canadians of Dutch descent. I don't think that happens very often. What is interesting is that they all said that the women do most of the cooking in their countries but most of the best chefs are men.

Mole: They didn't make it from scratch but brought some ready-made from Mexico. I often wonder about the first person who made something like mole. She probably had all kinds of stuff in her kitchen that she didn't know what to do with so she just mushed it all together and came up with mole, a classic Mexican food.

Refried Beans: I've never had such good refried beans. They said that all they did was add some onion and a little salt and pepper. Well, somehow, they taste different made by Mexican hands.

Guacamole Salsa: Here's a great hint all the way from Medardo's mother's kitchen for all you foodies out there. When you make guacamole, keep one of the avocado pits in the sauce. It keeps it from turning that yucky brownish colour. It's true. You've gotta try it.

Fajitas: I know. You think you've had fajitas. Not these. And you've gotta hear the Mexicans say "fajita." It tastes different when they say "fajita."

Ahhhh. Now I've got to walk off some of this delicious food.

Tonight's Dinner

Tonight, Medardo, Heida, and Rudy are cooking an authentic Mexican meal for us today. Medardo has been living with us since September and is attending high school here. His brother Rudy has been here all year too. Heida, their sister is visiting for a while. They asked if I would like it if they cooked a meal for us.

Of course!

It's neat listening to them. Heida is obviously in charge. She's the oldest after all and every now and then I hear some spirited discussion happening where the boys think they have a better idea than Heida. She usually wins.




They are a neat family and I think their mom would be so proud of them!

The Itinerary

Leave Winnipeg Sunday September 9

Arrival in Rome Monday September 10. Spend a few days in Rome

Saturday September 15-18 we'll spend a few days touring around Siena

Bike tour begins on Tuesday September 18 at 9:30

• DAYS 1+2: Castellina in Chianti. Meet in Siena and cycle north through fields and vineyards. After lunch in a tiny village, we’ll visit Radda on our way to Castellina. Exclusive wine tastings at a wine enoteca and dinner at a local trattoria. On our 2nd day enjoy a scenic ride with a visit to the Castle of Meleto, which has marked the history of one of the most important families of the Chianti area. For those who would like a more challenging ride, San Gimignano's medieval towers beckon from distant hills. The village, surrounded by stone walls boasts some of the best-preserved monuments in the region. Our hotel in Castellina is a charming 3-star hotel, close to cafes and restaurants.
  
• DAY 3: Sovicille Our route takes us to Monterrigioni; with its perfectly preserved walls and cobbled streets you will find the charm immediate. Our hotel is located in the country-side with a pool and surrounded by an extensive park. For those interested in cooking lessons prior to dinner, the chef here will gladly demonstrate.
  
• DAY 4: Asciano For some, this will be a favorite day of riding as we pedal through gently rolling countryside lined with cypress trees. Asciano is full of museums and monuments, and is also a perfect base to reach the Abbey of Monte Oliveto Maggiore, where monks still produce wine, honey, olive oil and a cure-all herb liquor. Art lovers will not want to miss the frescoes painted by Sodoma and Signorelli that have been preserved here since the 15th century. Our 3-star hotel in Asciano is brand new with all amenities.
  
• DAYS 5+6: Pienza We save the most spectacular riding for last as we visit the tiny villages of Petroio and Castelmuzio on our way to Pienza, full of Renaissance monuments; our hotel here is quietly situated 150 meters from the central plaza and has large comfortable rooms and a casualness that you will enjoy. On our final day of riding, we’ll ride to Montepulciano and Monticchiello riding through a ‘photographers’s paradise’. We’ll complement our final evening meal with bottles of the local wines and toast our time together in Tuscany. Viva dolce!
  

Monday September 24 to Wednesday September 26-Firenze

Wednesday September 26-Milan (see if I can pick up a few designer fashions-cheap)

Milan to Edinburgh

September 27-October 1- Carlisle GB. We'll be spending a few days with my mom's youngest sister and her husband.

Leave Edinburgh to London Gatwick Monday October 1 at 11:35

Monday October 1 at 18:15-Home again

Thursday Thirteen

This is my first Thursday Thirteen. I've never been able to get all the way to 13 but today, I will.

1. I was at Costco today. And Superstore. And Sobeys. Yuck. I was looking for the best deal on bone-in chicken breasts for a catering job that we are doing on the weekend.


2. Prices on bone-in chicken breasts do not vary much between grocery stores here in Winnpeg.


3. I think I didn't save any money by driving to all three places and then ending up at the first place I went.


4. Reusable grocery bags are great. I use them all the time. But when "chicken juice" gets spilled in one and is not cleaned out, it can make your whole car smell like a dead mouse. Yuk.


5. Jed came over to play with Dixie today while Michele and I practised together.


6. Dogs are like toddlers. They always want to play right where you are. They knocked Michele's music down a few times.


7. Dixie finds my foot going up and down on the damper pedal on the piano fascinating. To her it is another thing to play with.


8. I will have to cover my plants tonight. I knew I was taking a chance when I planted in early May that there could be frost so I'm not surprised.


9. Our itinerary for our amazing trip to Tuscany in the fall is finished. I'll post that one of these days soon.


10. We haven't been biking as much as we'd like because it's been so wet and nasty. I'm expecting perfect weather in Tuscany so I think I should practise biking only in perfect weather.


11. We do need to find some hills in Manitoba to bike on before our trip. I understand that Tuscany is quite hilly and this prairie girl is only used to flat land.


12. CBC Radio 1 has moved over to the FM dial. I am so happy because now, the really bad songs they play sound just a little better.


13. I am posting this on Friday because I just finished it today. The story of my life. Start something one day and finish it just a little later than the deadline.

The Novice Gardener

I love the look of pretty flowers in containers but when I look at them at the nurseries, they seem a little too expensive for me.

I thought that I could create my own container gardens, seeing as I have been doing this gardening thing for a whole year and a half.

Here is one of my first creations:

If you think that the large plants look like romaine lettuce-you're right. I thought it was calendula when I planted it but now I'm pretty sure that it's lettuce.

Sigh.

I think I have a lot to learn.

Election 2007

Yesterday was election day in Manitoba. The incumbent in my area won, as was predicted even though I did my best to keep that from happening.

Kristen voted in her first provincial election. She didn't know who to vote for so I told her. Even with our 2 votes, our man did not win.

Sigh.

We live in a very strong NDP riding. Provincially and federally, the NDP always wins here. It's a little discouraging because, my vote really doesn't make much of a difference. But vote I do. It is the one time that true democracy reigns and I never want to take that for granted.

Besides, if my dad found out I didn't vote, he'd disown me.

creation calls

-brian doerksen

i have felt the wind blow
whispering your name
i have seen your tears fall
when I watch the rain

how could I say there is no god
when all around creation calls
a singing bird a mighty tree
the vast expanse of open sea

gazing at a bird in flight
soaring through the air
lying down beneath the stars
i feel your presence there

i love to stand at ocean's shore
and feel the thund'ring breakers roar
to walk through golden fields of grain
'neath endless blue horizon's frame

listening to a river run
watering the earth
the fragrance of a rose in bloom
a newborn's cry at birth

how could i say there is no god
when all around creation calls
a singing bird a mighty tree

the vast expanse of open sea

It is hard for me, after watching my beautiful perennial garden grow, to imagine that there is not some higher power at work in this world. I happen to call this higher power God and in the spring, I find that the creation and new life all around me is a witness to God's creative genius.

This blog's gone international.

I'd like to welcome the "Dutch" connection. My parents are on a 3 week trip to the Netherlands to visit their respective families and I just received an email telling me that they arrived safely, had a glass of wine and some herring and are raring to start their vacation.

I'm jealous. I've been there 3 times in total and I loved every minute. Our family in the Netherlands is fun, interesting and extremely hospitable. They know how to have a good time and to show someone a good time.

My mother is the second oldest of 8 children and for the first time in "forever" they will all be together for a siblings event. I'm looking forward to the pictures. For now, here's one from 2 years ago at mom and dad's 50th Anniversary celebration.

Happy Birthday Dad

My dad is 78 today. That sounds old but when you see him and talk to him, you realize that it isn't very old. His hearing might be going, just a wee bit (although he claims everyone mumbles) and his eyes are still pretty good. One of his hips has been replaced and is standing up to his active lifestyle just fine.

The brain is also as sharp as it was years ago as is his sense of humour.

Michele has written some great memories of dad already. I'd like to add a few more.

The renovations were such a blast for me. There were always people around helping dad and mom, Yvonne and I would make sure there was coffee made and fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies. Nobody could make them like we could. One of my most vivid remembrances is of dad, upstairs, feeding John, downstairs, some wire or something and the two of them hollering back and forth.

Dad: "DO YOU SEE IT?"
John: "NO. WAIT. I THINK I SEE IT!
Dad: "START PULLING!"
John: "I CAN'T REACH IT! OH. NOW I'VE GOT IT!"
Dad: STOOOOOP! YOU JUST PULLED IT OUT OF MY HANDS!"
John: "HEY DAD! IT'S REALLY EASY TO PULL NOW!

Or something like that anyway. Whenever Wes needs to do something like that with someone here, I am immediately brought back to Saturdays, when I was young.

As he renovated our home room by room, dad insulated everything he could, long before other people recognized the importance of a well insulated house. Usually it was pink fibreglass insulation but one day I remember him coming home with bags of something called vermiculite. Dad thought it would be a great way to insulate one of the outside walls that would have been hard to do with the batts. He poured bags of the stuff into an opening in the wall on the second floor and at one point commented that he was using more than he he had estimated. It wasn't much later that we discovered a huge pile of vermiculite on the basement floor. He had poured it right through the wall.

When I was in Grade 2, we had to tell our teacher what our dad did for a living. I didn't know so my teacher asked me what he could do. My response, "He fixes things."
The teacher asked me what kinds of things he fixed and I answered, as proud as a little girl could, "He fixes EVERYTHING!"

Dad could fix everything- from car engines, washers and dryers to slinky toys. He made us beds when we were small with a little half railing to keep us from falling out of bed in the night. I was so proud of those beds!

Dad never did a lot of cooking but on ocassion, maybe once a year, he would treat us to deep fried onion rings. We loved them! He has his specialties now-bean salad, succulent chicken on the spit and some other grilled foods. Had he been born in a different time, he would have spent alot more time in the kitchen. It is neat to see a man of his age experimenting with foods and cooking when most men his age are happy to remain out of the kitchen.

Dad owned his own business with a partner for many years. One day, he was talking about some guy who took 10% off the invoice that dad submitted. I was shocked that someone would do that and I asked dad what he was going to do about it. He simply said, "I'll just charge him 15% extra next time. I was impressed with the incredible wisdom of my dad.

He owned a business, worked very hard, but never got rich. One year he commented how one of his employees actually made more than he did that year. But I never sensed any bitterness from dad about that. When you spend 2 hours in an afternoon fixing an lonely old woman's toaster, you won't make much money. I think dad always recognized that there was more to life than money.

There's lots more I could say but for now, I'll leave you with a few "dadisms."

Ha Ha! It's the cat's meow!
I'm stiff as a doornail. (Actually, he only said this once but we have never let him forget it.)
It'll put hair on your chest.
Mama mia!
Well you're quite the Speedy Gonsales.

Finally, here is a picture of dad and Michele. Isn't it lovely?

Happy birthday dad!

Memories of a Weekend

Frequently I find myself on a Friday afternoon wondering about the upcoming weekend. This weekend, as happens often, we had little planned but by the time I crawled into bed yesterday, I was happy, tired and satisfied.

I should have known the weekend was off to a good start when Carolyn offered us free tickets to a wine tasting event at the Convention Centre. There were at least 120 booths there with no fewer than 4 different selections at each booth. There were spit buckets (there's probably a much more sophisticated word for those but I don't know what it is) for those tasters who preferred to spit. They did not fill up very fast. I find it a little hard to spit in a lady-like manner without dribbling so I tend to taste and swallow. Sometimes I wonder if I might lean towards a tendency to be an alcoholic but I was pleased to discover that after having what I estimated to be a half litre of wine (well, maybe three quarters of a litre), I was quite happy to quit. Everything started tasting the same to me anyway.


Saturday, Wes and I worked around the house and got the winter cover for the pool cleaned off. That's not one of our favourite jobs so it felt good to put it away. Then, after dinner, a lovely little walk to our favourite ice cream shop, Sub-Zero.


Sunday was great as usual. I never tire attending church. That's a good thing. This Sunday, I was the person in charge of music. That means I got to pick the songs and then lead the band in practise and on Sunday morning. This time around, I spent a lot of time choosing the songs and learning a few new ones and I must say, the band did a bang-up job. We had a blast.


Got a great watering can for mother's day from Wes and "the kids." It's a beauty. Do you see how nicely the water sprays out from from the end of the can?

Sunday night we went to one of Manitoba's most interesing places, the "Half Moon." It's a nifty 50's style restaurant in Lockport. We went with some of my favourite people for ice cream.

I must confess that I've lived in Winnipeg for almost 28 years and this is the first time I've been there. We'll be going again soon. The hard ice cream's delicious and the home cooked fries are the best. It's on the banks of the Red River and is a great place for both humans and dogs to hang out on a lovely evening.

And a final great shot (I think Joey took this one) of George and Chelsea.

Our Home

I live in one of the most beautiful houses in this city. It is about 100 years old and as solid as the day it was built. It withstood the flood of 1950, while nearly all of the city was under water. It has also withstood fire, renovations, and the comings and goings of numerous people and various pets including a rabbit, 2 cats, a few fish, and 2 dogs.

This old house has a turret, a 3rd floor with windows and dormers, 10 foot ceilings, hardwood floors, a front porch and a screened-in back porch. It has lots of good sized closets and a huge eat-in kitchen. It has a dining room and a big living room that houses a gorgeous piano.

Today, there are 7 people living here. Until last fall, we had a guest bedroom that was used exclusively for guests (and insomniacs). I love the fact that we've always had enough room for family and friends to stay with us.

Even though this is the best place to live, we know that our days in this home are numbered. Tim is hoping to move out before too long and while Kristen will be living here while she goes to university, it won't be long before we won't need the space we have. That time will be coming sooner rather than later and we are considering putting up the sign in the spring of 2008.

I will be sad to leave this home. It has been big enough to have lots of people here. We've had pool parties and other gatherings that many other people couldn't have because their houses aren't as big as ours.

The next house will be smaller and my common sense tells me that it will be easier for us to move now, or at least within the next few years, before Wes retires. It will require less time and effort to clean and maintain. We'd like to do some serious travelling and it will be easier to leave for a couple of months with a house that is smaller. It will be good to downsize. I know that.

But in my heart I know that it will be hard to leave this place. There are so many memories here and when I consider my list of things I want in a house, this one has almost all of them. My kids "grew up" in this house. This is our "family home." No home we buy or build will have the touches that make this house so beautiful and comfortable.

I didn't think that I would feel quite so attached to this place mostly because I have never held a great attachment to possessions. But I suppose there is something different about a house. I have never felt that I owned it; I have just had the luxury of living here, of making sure that it remains comfortable and ensuring that it remains solid and strong. I feel that we are preserving a part of history by using this place for the purpose it was built, as a family home.

So for now, I will continue to care for it until a new family comes here and calls it their own. And I will leave blessings for them and pray that they will enjoy life here as much as I did.

It's the right thing to do. I know it.

Yup.

Gotta do it sometime.

Living Simply

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.”~ Sarah Ban Breathnach - author of Simple Abundance

Friday Five

Once again, only have time for 5.

1. I've been out in the garden a lot lately. It is a wonderful place to be because every day, things look a little different and I find new growth popping up all the time.


2. Wednesday, we did a catering job for about 60 people. I was exhausted at the end of the day but we had a good time. A very good time. Please check out the Prairie Bounty website and tell me what you think.


3. Coffee house tonight and Tim's doing a set with his friend Sarah. I never tire of seeing my children doing things that they love to do and that they do well.


4. Not much time for blogging. The weather's too nice, my garden awaits, the new bike is always ready and waiting for me, the dog loves to walk and I have books to read. Lots and lots of books.

Plus

Plus

Equals...
A new vegetable garden

Right Now...

At the end of a busy day that included too much driving around, a very satisfying time in the garden and a walk with the dog to the local ice cream parlour.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Happy Birthday Tim!

April 26, 1987,
10 lbs, 4 oz., 23 inches
Sweet, precious and happy
Could drive mother to distraction due to colic.

April 26, 2007
180 lbs (guesstimate, no scale available)
76 inches (guesstimate)
Feet are probably closer to 23 inches than head to toe measurement.
Still sweet, precious and happy.
Still can drive mother to distraction. However, colic is not the problem.

Music

I love Classical music. I enjoy listening to it and when nobody's home, I enjoy playing some of the pieces I know from years ago, on the piano. I think that Baroque has to be my favourite period. When Michele asked me to accompany her for a Vivaldi piece she is playing on the flute, I said yes right away. Yesterday, we practised and then we went to her lesson where I accompanied her.

Something happens when we play together. Maybe it's because we're sisters and we have a unique connection. Part of it must be the way Vivaldi put his notes and chord progressions together. But whatever it is, when we play together, nothing matters anymore but making beautiful music. It is one of those times when I feel like I'm "in the moment." One of those times when I feel like this is what I was created to do. I am firing on all 8 cylinders.

On one hand it's exhausting because we're focussing and concentrating so hard. But the result is beautiful music. While we have to practise some more, there were moments of pure joy and beauty last night.

Sometimes, I wish that I had focussed on a different instrument. I was talking with my nephew Joey once and he said something like, "piano's your favourite instrument." He assumed that was the case because I can play piano. The piano just happened to be the easiest one at the time and I hadn't even considered playing another instrument. And I really do enjoy playing it.

I think my favourite instrument is the oboe and I would have loved to learn how to play that when I was young. I am definitely too old for that instrument now. Oboe players literally have to blow their brains out to get a good sound. I am trying to conserve as many brain cells as possible now so playing an instrument like the oboe is out of the question.

But last night, piano was my instrument of choice. Playing along with a gifted, talented flautist (that's you Michele) was a wonderful moment. I hope to do it lots more.

When do we practise again?

Anna Nicole Smith's Baby

Okay, so now we know. Can we finally give it a rest?

Random

Random. I love that word. That is how my brain works. Randomly. It's a word that people are using a lot these days. If something doesn't make sense, is weird or doesn't fit, all you need to say is, "That was random." It doesn't have to be explained because it was random.

This is a post of random things that I thought of or happened to me today.

1. Dixie's doing pretty well in the pooping/peeing department. She is also willing to stand on the driveway and look at the traffic. She is becoming more brave and courageous.
2. Tim's been unemployed for TOO LONG now. So, today we started a list of things he can do around the house until he can start working. There is a job but it just has not started yet. Michele calls him my man-servant. Anyone want to use him?
3. While it drives me to distraction to have a healthy, intelligent, able person hanging around the house when he should be working, I also like having him around. Aside from doing the dirty work (he took down the Christmas lights today. We like to be on top of those kinds of things) he is a pretty interesting person to have around. And I like it when he plays his guitar.
4. Kristen had her day off today. And Alisha came for a quick visit. She said it was to get a recipe from me but I know she came because she wanted to say hi to Dixie.
5. Tim, Kristen, Alisha and I were sitting around the kitchen table today, just talking. I like that.
6. Wes and I are going to the World Women's Hockey Final at the MTS Centre tonight. I am not a huge hockey fan but I love watching these women. They inspire me. Although I think they should burn the pink jerseys.
7. I hope Canada wins. They are playing the US.
8. As I'm sitting here typing, I hear the casserole in the oven overflowing. Yuck.
9. It finally seems that spring will really come. It is cool today but the sun is melting the last of the snow and there is growth in my garden.
10. I planted seeds last Friday and some of them were already up on Monday. Amazing.
11. This morning I went to see my spiritual advisor. We have a great time when we meet.
12. Kristen's going out for dinner with CJ tonight. I don't think she should but what can I say?
13. Wes just got home from work. I think I'll get my man-servant to set the table.

Happy Good Friday

On the evening news I saw highlights of how today, this most holy day for Christians, was celebrated around the world. We saw images of the Vatican, Israel, and even our own town of Winnipeg.

In the Philippines, there are some people who actually volunteer to be crucified. Every year we have seen images of these men who allow themselves to be attached to a cross and then raised up to hang for a period of time. Others will slap chords on their backs until they bleed.

Every year I wonder why they do it.

Are they trying to share in the suffering of Jesus Christ? Maybe they're trying to prove to God that they are willing to be crucified, to suffer for the sake of the gospel. Or perhaps they feel some need to suffer so that God will love them more. I really don't know. But I do find it repulsive. How can these guys even begin to understand the suffering of Jesus? The physical pain he endured on the cross was the least of his pain. While on the cross he carried the sins of the world on his shoulders and worse, was abandoned by God.

When reading the gospels in the New Testament, it is obvious that Jesus spent a lot of time with God. Often he would go someplace, away from his friends and the crowds to pray and meditate. Jesus and God were tight. And then, on Good Friday, he was abandoned by his Father, in his greatest time of need.

That's pain.

The Filipino guys have no idea, nor do any of us. I think that what they do makes a mockery of what Jesus did. And they do not understand the whole story. Jesus died, once and for all. He doesn't have to do it ever again. All of us have had our sins forgiven because of what happened on Good Friday. And because of what Jesus did, we don't have to prove to God that we love him. He loves us and that is that.

I was a young girl when I saw this spectacle for the first time. And like a good Christian girl, I felt guilty because I knew I could never do such a thing. I wasn't strong enough and I didn't love God enough.

I am grateful today because I know that there is nothing I have to do to earn the love of God. He showed that he loves me by allowing his Son to die a horrible death. All I need to do is accept this love.

On many levels I do not understand this story. I still wonder why God chose to carry out his plan for the world in this way. I could think of a number of ways this story could play out that aren't nearly as gruesome. But I always come back to it because it is a story about unconditional, incredible and amazing love. And that is something I can live with.

Poor Dixie

Something fell on Dixie's toe last weekend. She was limping but it seemed to be getting better until yesterday. She hurt it again and this morning was favouring it quite a lot. So, off we went to the vet.

She broke her toe. Here is Dr. Mike with Dixie.

She seems to be handling the cast quite well although everyone feels sorry for her. I already gave her a new toy. After 3 weeks I'm worried that she will be fat and spoiled.

"Home"

We just returned from a trip "back home." Home for me is Beamsville, Ontario, the heart of the fruit belt (although it seems that the orchards are disappearing as quickly as the new subdivisions are springing up).




The wedding of my niece was the main reason we went but it is always good for us to go back to visit my brothers and their families, my parents as well as Wes's parents, brother, sisters and their families. There are lots of people to see!



I'd say that this was one of the best trips we've had. We were able to see everybody and also have some good times of connecting. The families are growing, with boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses and I've gotta say that the second generation definitely knows how to choose them. James, Larissa's new husband is a great guy and I really liked his mom and sisters. Nicole, Carolyn and Frank have fit in quite nicely. And the others, who have started coming around are great people too.



I love to see my kids developing relationships with their Ontario cousins. Growing up in Winnipeg, they have not seen a lot of their relatives but now as adults, it's so great to see them having fun together. Here is Kristen with cousin Dan and Nicole.
Chelsea is no longer an Ontario cousin but I like this picture.


Being with my family helps me know that there is a place where I belong. I am loved and accepted as I am and even though we may not always agree on many things, I know that there is a pretty large group of people who will do almost anything for me.

I'll post this picture because it's one of the few of Wes and I that I like.

A great weekend, but sleep was in short supply. Here's Wes at the wedding, after most of the guests had gone home.

R.I.P. Frank

I spent a few years working as a volunteer coordinator at the central food bank in Winnipeg during the late 1990s. Most of the work in the warehouse was (and still is) done by volunteers. There are school and church groups, retired men and women, recent immigrants and refugees. We had young men from Germany who would do a 2 year volunteer stint in place of mandatory army service. There were also a number of people who couldn' t hold down a regular job often due to some kind of mental illness. I loved the incredible diversity of that work place.

There was one volunteer who stood out from many of the others. He was smart, responsible and cheerful. Often he would tell us about his 2 daughters, whom he obviously adored. He talked about coaching their softball teams in the summer months and all the fun outings he had with them. We knew that he and his wife were seperated but other than that, we knew very little about him. He told us that he had worked for many years for a company in town but that he had decided to take a break from it. Working at the food bank was something that he was doing to keep himself busy until he felt ready to reenter the corporate world.

Frank came to work almost every day. He seemed happy, content and thrilled to be helping out at the food bank. When he didn't show up for several days, we wondered where he was but we were not too surprised. Volunteers come and go often. He had no phone so we couldn't call him but we were confident that he would show up sooner or later. Everyone else did.

On a Monday morning, I got the phone call. The woman asked for me by name and identified herself as someone from the coroner's office. She asked me if I knew Frank and then she dropped the bombshell: "Frank committed suicide last Friday."

I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say. I wracked my brain, trying to remember the last conversations we had and there was nothing that I could recall that might have indicated that he was contemplating something so extreme. We had spoken on Thursday and the last thing he said was, "See you tonight."

Then she told me that he had left a note addressed to Lee (my supervisor) and me and asked if she could bring it to us.

That afternoon she came and offered her condolences. She was very good at her job; compassionate and helpful, answering our questions honestly. I don't remember too much about the note except that it was hand written, neat and included an apology to us for doing something so extreme. He had folded it carefully and placed it somewhere in his room where it would be found. Frank made sure to tell us that we had nothing to do with his decision to kill himself and that he had found that the people at the food bank were a great group of people with whom he could spend his last months. The note sounded like Frank. Normal, friendly and responsible (he left the key for us too).

I looked at the note and realized that this was one of the last things Frank had done before he killed himself. I was one of the last people he thought of. There was something very disturbing about that and I remember studying the paper, looking on the back of it, smelling it, just trying to find some clue as to why on earth he would do such a thing.

But there was no clue.

We discovered more about Frank during the following weeks. We learned that he had not seen his daughters for over 2 years and had not spoken to his wife for nearly as long. He had led us to believe that he saw them regularly, that he was sad about the break up with his wife but he was dealing with it. He had even begun to date again. I was shocked that he could fool us all so completely.

When Joyce over at Blunderview entitled her post, "Mental Illness Kills," I was reminded of Frank. I still wonder on occasion if there might have been something we missed or could have done to help him out. I don't think so but it's hard not to wonder.

I wonder if he had a mental illness that he never told us about. One where he could function well during the day but not alone at night. Or maybe he was afraid of being "found out." As we got to know Frank better, we began to realize that some of his story just didn't add up. Maybe he was afraid that we would discover the truth about his sad and sorry life and would no longer accept him.

I suppose we'll never know. I just know that for one night, he felt desperate enough to take his own life. That is so sad.

I wish I could say that something good came out of this all. That his daughters have forgiven their dad and moved on or that I learned more about the signs of someone who is suicidal and was able to help someone else. But I can't. This is one of those messy moments of life where there is no closure.

I don't know where Frank is now. I believe in heaven and in a loving God and I hope that one day I will meet Frank there. For now, I will just wonder about him every now and then.

Happy Birthday Chelsea

Chelsea is my absolutely favourite Winnipeg niece. Yesterday was her 15th birthday. This great picture was taken while we were singing "Happy Birthday" in 16 part harmony. I wish you could have heard us.

We are a talented family.

Yesterday, I had a problem. A pretty big problem. Some very well meaning people planned an outing for me that they thought I'd enjoy. My problem is that after checking the website of the speaker and of the conference, I was pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy it. I know that there will be many women at the conference who will be inspired, challenged and encouraged but this kind of thing is just not my "thing."

My problem though, is how to tell the people who planned this for me that I really didn't want to go. A wise woman suggested to me that I have 2 options: Either be true to myself or keep the peace.

To be true to myself would be to tell my friends that I could not attend this conference. To keep the peace, I would attend, paste a smile on my face and agree that the speaker was indeed funny, inspiring and challenging. While the second option would be easier in some ways, I knew last night that I had to decline the invitation. I'd want to explain why I couldn't go but the reasons for that run deep. I'm pretty sure that my friends would not understand and it would be hard for me to even articulate clearly why I couldn't go. Two hours out of my life is not a long time but there are values and principles that I hold which I would have to deny or set aside in order to participate in this conference.

(At this point some of you who have not clicked on the links for the speaker and conference might be wondering what kind of evil has she gotten herself into and who are her friends anyway? Just click on the links. Those of you who know me will understand)

I have been thinking a lot lately about my values, my passions, my principles and the things that are really important to me. It is for this reason that at this time, I have to decline the invitation. At this time in my life, I need to be true to myself and what I believe and let the chips fall where they may. There will likely be misunderstandings. I may be seen as arrogant. But I will have to live with that. I know that God understands where I'm coming from and that he knows my decision is one that I have made after prayer and consideration and with as much integrity as a fallen, broken, imperfect person can.

During this year, my year of Jubilee, I have decided that I can no longer do things in order to please others. I have spent most of my life doing that, afraid of standing up to people who might not understand where I'm coming from and afraid that they may no longer "like" me. I am realizing in a new way that what they think of me is not my problem, it's theirs. I know that God likes me, he actually loves me. A lot. And that is all that matters.

So, for today, I will be true to myself, to the person God created me to be.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Kristen broke up with CJ today, her boyfriend of 18 months. She is very sad and in tears but she knows that it is for the best. Her hopes, desires and goals did not match those of CJ and she knew that this relationship could not last. It was stagnant and not going anywhere.

I had suggested to her a while ago that CJ might not be the best person for her and it seems that lots of people were telling her the same thing. I've always felt that a relationship could not last much longer than 1 1/2 years without something happening. Either a couple needs to move forward and make some kind of commitment to each other, or they should break up. Of course, there are exceptions to that "rule" but it seems to be the case for most people with whom I am acquainted.

It is the best thing for her and she knows that. I'm happy that she has finally taken this step and I told her that I admire her for doing it. She has known for a while that it had to happen and today she found the courage to do it.

CJ is not taking it so well and I understand that harsh words were spoken. That's too bad but I suppose breaking up can be pretty messy.

Kristen will survive this, I know. She will learn from this too. She will grieve the loss of a friend and I hope she will remember the good things about CJ, not only the bad.

It is my hope and prayer for her and my other 2 sons who have not yet met their "significant other" that they will meet someone who will encourage, challenge and bring out the best in them. I hope that they will meet someone who will love them in spite of their flaws. I hope they will meet people who desire to grow, who are life long learners.

Settling for someone less is just stupid.

The Joys of Having A Dog

It is 4:30 AM. Dixie's been crying/whining/barking on and off all night. I thought I'd better take her out in case she had to go. There are a few people in this old house who have to work tomorrow and I want to be sure they can sleep.

Well, she didn't "go" and now she is sleeping peacefully on my feet while I am wide awake.

Spring is Coming!

I was just packing my groceries into the car and I heard them. The geese. There were hundreds of them and I took a moment to watch them.

They sounded happier now than when they left in the fall.

Looking for Average Male Models

Harlequin Enterprises is having a tough time.

I didn't know this but they use real live models for their book covers. And the real live male models are looking too boyish and thin. So Harlequin has put out a call for average looking men to grace the covers of their romantic novels. If you'd like, you may rate your favourite Harlequin book cover hunks here.

So, any of you average looking men can just head over to Harlequin Enterprises. Maybe you will be the next Harlequin man.

Strange. There doesn't seem to be a problem with pre-pubescent looking girls.

For Whippersnapper

When Whippersnapper asked if my husband was in a rock band I thought, wow, would it ever be cool to be married to a rock musician. But, then again,

maybe not.

Wes, my husband is a humble estimater with a construction company. Not nearly as exciting as a rock musician but a very good husband and a good provider.

Eric's my son and he is part of a band called Aslan's Child.

10 things that show you have crossed the line from being a dog tolerater to a dog lover...

1. You are all dressed wearing your fancy fake fur coat and you reach into the pocket for a tissue and you find liver treats in one pocket and an empty plastic bag in the other.
2. Dog poop no longer totally grosses you out. It only partially grosses you out.
3. You have a baby gate in your house and your youngest child is 18.
4. You visit your sister so the dogs can have a play date.
5. You find yourself actually considering that a dog stroller would be a good purchase.*
6. You have weird dreams about dogs and babies.*
7. You are offended when your son doesn't love your dog as much as you do.
8. You consider buying shares in a paper towel company because you use so much to clean up the dog messes in your house.
9. You become fastidious about cleaning up EVERYTHING that falls on the floor in your kitchen, otherwise the dog will chew it.
10. When you step in a dog pee puddle in the kitchen, you calmly take your socks off and put on a pair of clean ones. Without freaking out.

*Dixie is afraid of traffic and we live on a very busy street. When we take her for a walk, we have to carry her about one block before we can put her down. She is still small enough to carry but if she doesn't get over this fear, it will be hard to take her out for walks.

*I dreamed that Ben and Carolyn (my son and his wife) came over one day carrying a car seat. I didn't know that they were pregnant and while I found a little strange, it seemed quite acceptable for me. I pulled back the cute pink baby blanket and out peered, a black lab puppy, just like Dixie. I oohed and aaahed over the puppy just as I would over a baby.

Dixie

Eric is borrowing my laptop while he is on tour so I will not be posting too much in the next couple of weeks.

Today, I will leave you with some photos of the newest addition to our family. When we decided that Sammy had to go, we all agreed that we would get another dog.

Meet Dixie.

She has been with us for about 2 weeks now and is settling in nicely. She has already learned "sit," "down," and today we started working on "heel." The pooping and peeing is another story but I'm sure she'll get the hang of it one of these days.

Dixie is a lab cross and seems to be a relaxed, happy dog. We are really enjoying her.