Changes Again

We spent a great weekend in Ontario at Easter. My parents in law were celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary and we all (that is, Wes, all our children and me) flew down for the festivities. There are things that need to be celebrated and this was one of them.

One of the things I loved best was seeing my children connect with their cousins, who they do not see much. Eric especially seemed to really enjoy the aunts, uncles and cousins. When he asked me, "Mom, why did you move away?" I think he was trying to understand what would possess us to move away from such great people and such a beautiful area.

Why did we move? We had pretty good relationships with our families and the Niagara area certainly is beautiful. I am reminded of that every time we go back. And now, our family bonds seem to be growing stronger. I think we moved because we, like so many young adults wanted to try it on our own. Start our own lives, away from what was familiar; have an adventure that included some risk but not too much. Besides, Wes was offered a great job here and we felt we could not turn it down. And, we were pretty sure that within a few years, we'd be back.

It's been 29 years since we first moved away from there, to here. With telephone, email and inexpensive air travel, it has been easy to stay connected.

But now, the tide has turned. Eric has been offered a position with Sun Media in St. Catharines and will be moving out there around the middle of May. I'm happy for him. The job sounds like it suits his talents and abilities well. The family will love to see him and I'm pretty sure they'll make sure to keep him connected.

People have been asking me how I feel about this. Sure, I'll miss him but I also know that this is a great opportunity for him, both professionally and personally.

And it's good for Westjet too. I just might have to take an extra trip or two now and then.

Happy Birthday Chelsea!

What I Did On the Easter Weekend...

We just got back from celebrating the 50th wedding anniversary of my in-laws. They live in a beautiful part of Southern Ontario, the Niagara-on-the-Lake area.

"What was the best part of the weekend?" my brother-in-law asked when he picked us up at the Winnipeg airport.

That's a hard question to answer as almost every part of the weekend was wonderful. My brother-in-law who works at the Shaw Festival Theatre took us on a tour where we stood on stage, admired the backdrops back stage, entered the orchestra pit and saw the beautiful fabrics and costumes being created in the wardrobe department. That was one of those little surprise things. We went there to pick up a few music stand to borrow and we had this wonderful improptu tour. A short visit to the Old Town of Niagara-on-the-Lake, a wine tour and a stop at a greenhouse were all part of the Saturday morning itinerary.

The 50th anniversary celebration was great too. The room was beautiful, Wes and his sister managed to keep the program short and running smooth and we connected with aunts and uncles that we hadn't seen in decades. I had the opportunity to be part of a band with some of my kids and nephews and nieces.

A potluck, celebrating my father-in-law's 70th birthday was something else that was a real pleasure. Watching my children connect with their cousins, even though they don't see much of each other was such a joy. Kristen said that it was neat that there was an immediate connection with the cousins. "It was like we knew each other already and could start right into the poopy talk, without having to get reaquainted first."

Easter Sunday was spent with my parents, and my 2 brothers and their families. Again, lots of food, lots of noise and lots of wine. It doesn't get much better than that.

We flew back home on Monday night, grateful that the neat stuff we bought actually fit into our suitcases. Not so happy that I also picked up some kind of virus that I took home with me. Oh well, nothing that a bit of Tylenol and rest won't cure.

Oma Hoornenborg

She would have been 102 last Friday. And had her life been a little easier something makes me think that she might still be living.

My Oma was born in the Netherlands on February 1, 1906. I don't know much about her life except that she survived 2 world wars, bore 8 children and remained married to the same man until he died. I did not see my grandparents often but they did figure prominently in my life as they visited us every two years in their retirement. Oma lived until she was 95, healthy and surrounded by her loving family. My mother, sisters and I had the great priviledge of celebrating her 90th birthday with her in Holland in 1996.

Even though I was English speaking and Oma was Dutch, we were able to communicate. Oma always brought delicious treats for us and was very generous in giving them out. All we kids had to do was ask her the question, "Oma, kan ik een snoepje hebben?" (May I have a candy?) and she would go to the stash in her bedroom and come out with something good. She had dropjes, Dutch peppermints and heart candies that melted in your mouth.

She was a typical Dutch Oma with beautiful white hair, an ample bosom and flowery dresses. Much of the Dutch I knew, I learned from her and I remember a phrase that she spoke often to Opa when he would tease her, "Nay vader, dat is niet waar! Niet waar!" (No father, that is not true! Not true!)

I remember when I was very young we would occasionally get care packages from Oma. There'd be women's magazines, a bit of candy and wool stockings for the girls. Oh how I hated those wool stockings! I have an allergy to wool so they would itch my legs so badly I could hardly walk. I'd go to the washroom numerous times during the day just so I could take them off and get a few moments of relief. I felt guilty about hating them. After all, they were a gift from my Oma, they were supposed to keep my legs warm in the winter and they looked nice-at least that's what my mom said. All I remember is that they were gray and horribly, painfully, awfully, itchy and they turned my legs bright red.

But my memories of Oma are still fond. Her death didn't change my life much because I was quite used to living without her but still, every now and then I think about her and wonder about her. I suspect that there are a lot of things we have in common. I know she enjoyed doing the crossword, which is something I like to do too. She enjoyed cooking, a gift that she passed on to her daughters and then to her granddaughters. She also wrote letters to us on somthing we called "Airmail forms." These were thin pieces of paper upon which you wrote your letter and then licked the tabs which were on three sides to seal it closed. Oma would fill every space on that paper, sometimes adding the last sentences in the side margins. She was accustomed to being thrifty and using every available space.

The last time I visited Oma was in 1999 and though her memory was fading, she knew who I was as soon as I entered her room. She seemed genuinely glad to see me although Wes did not receive the same treatment as she glared at him everytime she noticed him and asked what that man was doing there.

Oma died peacefully in her sleep at the ripe old age of 95. She lives on in her children and grandchildren.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Kristen broke up with CJ today, her boyfriend of 18 months. She is very sad and in tears but she knows that it is for the best. Her hopes, desires and goals did not match those of CJ and she knew that this relationship could not last. It was stagnant and not going anywhere.

I had suggested to her a while ago that CJ might not be the best person for her and it seems that lots of people were telling her the same thing. I've always felt that a relationship could not last much longer than 1 1/2 years without something happening. Either a couple needs to move forward and make some kind of commitment to each other, or they should break up. Of course, there are exceptions to that "rule" but it seems to be the case for most people with whom I am acquainted.

It is the best thing for her and she knows that. I'm happy that she has finally taken this step and I told her that I admire her for doing it. She has known for a while that it had to happen and today she found the courage to do it.

CJ is not taking it so well and I understand that harsh words were spoken. That's too bad but I suppose breaking up can be pretty messy.

Kristen will survive this, I know. She will learn from this too. She will grieve the loss of a friend and I hope she will remember the good things about CJ, not only the bad.

It is my hope and prayer for her and my other 2 sons who have not yet met their "significant other" that they will meet someone who will encourage, challenge and bring out the best in them. I hope that they will meet someone who will love them in spite of their flaws. I hope they will meet people who desire to grow, who are life long learners.

Settling for someone less is just stupid.

For Whippersnapper

When Whippersnapper asked if my husband was in a rock band I thought, wow, would it ever be cool to be married to a rock musician. But, then again,

maybe not.

Wes, my husband is a humble estimater with a construction company. Not nearly as exciting as a rock musician but a very good husband and a good provider.

Eric's my son and he is part of a band called Aslan's Child.