Happy Birthday Kristen

My baby is 19 today. I've often said that the only good thing that ever happened on Halloween was that Kristen was born.

We will attempt to have dinner tonight before the little ghosts and goblins start arriving at our door and before Kristen, her friends and the other teenagers in this house leave for their various festivities

My parents are here too. Mom and I were reminiscing about this day, 19 years ago. She remembers it well because she was visiting us.

It was 5:00 PM, October 31, 1988 and Wes and I were at the hospital in the final stages of labour. My poor mother, who probably thought that she would never have to deal with Halloween again, was at my home, trying to get 3 little boys dressed and out the door while other little ghosts and goblins were already looking for treats.

An unforgettable night.

The Dentist

Yesterday, I rode my bike to the dentist. I had what I thought was a loose crown and hoped that Dr. J could glue it back on before it fell off. It wasn't that easy. I ended up with my first tooth extraction. I felt a little shaky after the ordeal and didn't feel that I could ride home so I called my knight in shining armour. He came, loaded my trusty steed into the trunk of his car and took me home. While I rested in the living room, he made supper: Lasagne and ceasar salad. To use Heather's words, I think I'll keep him.

When I and my siblings were young, my folks, even though they were poor immigrants made sure that we went to the dentist every 6 months. It probably had something to do with the fact that they both had dentures.

Dr. H was a nice enough man and believed in "no pain" dentistry. When he found a cavity, he'd start drilling until I jumped out of the chair, and then he'd stop, fill the hole and send me on my way. My friends would talk about needles their dentists would give them, including all the gory details as young people are wont to do, and I was pleased that Dr. H was kind enough not to use them.

I found a dentist near my home when I moved to Winnipeg. I forget his name but I'll call him, Dr. Drill'nfill. He informed me that I had 17 cavities and they all needed filling. He drilled four troughs in my teeth, filled them up and sent me on my way. He was the first dentist to tell me that I should floss although after his work, there were few spaces left between my teeth.

Not long after Dr. Drill'nfill, I started going to Dr. J. He is a good dentist and over the years has redone much of the work of Dr. Drill'nfill and Dr. H. Dr. J is not fast, but he is good. I often think that he would be a good sculptor, the way he works on my teeth to make them just right. He has never said anything to me about my previous dentists but he must wonder about them when he's doing work on my mouth.

So, I think I can thank my 2 previous dentists for my most recent problem. Dr. H for not fixing it well enough in the first place and Dr. Drill'nfill for being less than careful. Dr. Drill'nfill retired shortly after he finished working on my mouth and Dr. H went into real estate. Hmmm.

I have a lot of faith in Dr. J and am taking his advice on how to proceed. He recommended an implant, something he doesn't do himself but he has a brother-in-law in Beausejour who can do it cheap...

Are we getting dumber?

In yesterday's Winnipeg Free Press:

Child Seat Removal
Bumbo International, manufactureer of the popular Bumbo Baby Sitter, has announced it is temporarily removing the popular sitter from store shelves to update the instructions.

The company says it is not defective and does not need to be returned. Therefore, no refunds are being offered.

The company is strengthening the wording of the instructions to emphasise that the Bumbo Baby Seat should never be used on any elevated surface such as a table, countertop or chair because children can get out of the seat and fall.

Just thought I'd do my part to let parents know the dangers of Bumbo Baby Seats.

Thursday Thirteen

1. The rain has finally stopped and the sun is shining. Thank goodness for that.
2. Went to the funeral of a woman yesterday who should have had another 30 years to live if you believe the statistics. There were a lot of people there, including members of "The Gospel Choir," 2 of whom sang a solo. I would have loved to see the whole choir do a number.
3. CJ's grandpa's grave was near to his mom's. And there, on Grandpa's grave marker was the name of his wife, her date of birth and a space for her death. I wonder what she thinks about when she sees that.
4. Kristen tells me that the funeral home limo is pretty sweet.
5. When I die, I want live music at my funeral. And hymns. I want "Abide With Me" to be sung. No canned music for me.
6. There also has to be good food for afterwards, like wraps and fruit and hummus and black bean dip. Maybe Ira's Deli or some similar place could do the catering. Is it okay to have Jews cater a Christian wedding?
7. I have never stood at a graveside ceremony where I thought that the weather was great. It always seems to be raining, or freezing or like yesterday, windy.
8. Advice to those of you who never want your picture taken: Please, let people take your picture, even though you don't like it. That way, there'll be photos for them to look at when your time comes.
9. More advice: Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat healthy. Enjoy life. Laugh.
10. I didn't know CJ's mom but several people commented on the fact that she would say "Mercy!" when the situation warranted it.
11. When people think they "have to be strong" when someone near to them has died, what exactly does that mean?
12. I hope CJ and his dad will continue to allow people to help them out and support them once everyone leaves.
13. For me, there is much comfort in the fact that I believe there is life after death. I don't really know what that will look like but it makes death seem less final.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I will never forget that night.

The phone rang three times at 3:08 AM and I realized that Kristen was not yet home. No message was left but I called her anyway.

"Mom, CJ's mom just died. I don't know what to do!"

Neither did I but I went to the hospital to see if there was anything I could do. It was pissing rain and CJ was outside because he couldn't stand to be in the emergency waiting room one more minute. All I could do was to put the umbrella over him even though he didn't seem to notice the pouring rain.

And then, "My mom just died. I can't believe it. My mom just died." And I glimpsed a little boy who didn't know what to do, didn't know if he could survive without his mom.

I made some cookies, sent over a lasagne and made a donation to the Canadian Diabetes Society.

It all seems so insignificant.

I just don't know what to do.

I have been home for 2 weeks and while I have felt a desire to post something, I hardly know where to start.

How do you write about something that was better than you expected, something that changed you in ways you can't even express? How do you describe the pain you felt, in your butt, in your heart, in your mind, biking up yet another hill, wondering if you could make it?

Or the moment of absolute panic when you see your husband just ahead of you, flying through the air like a (very large) bird, over his handlebars and landing smack on his chest? (There's no picture of that because it all happened so quickly. Fortunately, he was fine and got back on his bike after about 15 minutes.)

This was what he had to show for it a few days later.

Words cannot express the experience of sitting in the shade of a 12th century castle, looking over a gorgeous valley, eating a picnic lunch supplied by villagers all over the age of 70.

How can you describe the Colleseum, the Forum and the Pantheon?

What can you say when you walk on streets worn by the footsteps of millions of people and wonder if the apostles Peter and Paul walked on the same roads?

Or celebrating your 28th anniversary by enjoying an exquisite glass of Italian wine in a lovely courtyard? How do you talk about the 8 people, who you will likely never meet again, who were your constant companions, best friends and all around amazing people?

I find that words really cannot describe it all.