Thursday Thirteen

1. The rain has finally stopped and the sun is shining. Thank goodness for that.
2. Went to the funeral of a woman yesterday who should have had another 30 years to live if you believe the statistics. There were a lot of people there, including members of "The Gospel Choir," 2 of whom sang a solo. I would have loved to see the whole choir do a number.
3. CJ's grandpa's grave was near to his mom's. And there, on Grandpa's grave marker was the name of his wife, her date of birth and a space for her death. I wonder what she thinks about when she sees that.
4. Kristen tells me that the funeral home limo is pretty sweet.
5. When I die, I want live music at my funeral. And hymns. I want "Abide With Me" to be sung. No canned music for me.
6. There also has to be good food for afterwards, like wraps and fruit and hummus and black bean dip. Maybe Ira's Deli or some similar place could do the catering. Is it okay to have Jews cater a Christian wedding?
7. I have never stood at a graveside ceremony where I thought that the weather was great. It always seems to be raining, or freezing or like yesterday, windy.
8. Advice to those of you who never want your picture taken: Please, let people take your picture, even though you don't like it. That way, there'll be photos for them to look at when your time comes.
9. More advice: Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat healthy. Enjoy life. Laugh.
10. I didn't know CJ's mom but several people commented on the fact that she would say "Mercy!" when the situation warranted it.
11. When people think they "have to be strong" when someone near to them has died, what exactly does that mean?
12. I hope CJ and his dad will continue to allow people to help them out and support them once everyone leaves.
13. For me, there is much comfort in the fact that I believe there is life after death. I don't really know what that will look like but it makes death seem less final.

Playing All Day

I am playing the piano at a funeral tonight. I do not know the man who died but I do know his brother. While this is a sad occasion for the man's family and friends, I am not emotionally involved.

So, today, for much of the day, I am practising. This man was an Elvis fan so I will be playing a lot of Elvis's "religious" stuff. I am having a blast, playing old hymns.

While I was playing today, a thought occurred to me. What if I practised several hours every day and then offered my services to funeral homes around the city to provide live music? That would be a sweet job, I think. Playing piano happens to be one thing that I love and never tire of doing. And I love funerals. They are terribly sad occasions, there's no doubt about that. I know that even tonight, I'll have to keep my emotions in check because I know that I will be moved. I always am.

At a funeral there is no denial. People for once in their lives are real. There's no denying death. There's no denying the sorrow, the pain, and the emptiness caused by someone dying. We cry together. At a funeral we acknowlege that death sucks and we can finally admit that there's nothing we can do about it anymore. We surrender. Finally.

A funeral is a time where we slow down for a moment and take stock of our own lives. We wonder what people will say about us, when our time comes. Will we have made an impact? Will people miss us? How many people will show up? Have we changed the world, or at least, our corner of the world? And what about life after death? What will that look like?

I have been to lots of funerals and at every single one, whether the person was "religious" or not there is a sense that the deceased is "in a better place." Those of us who are still living find comfort in that fact. I always feel bad for the friends and family of the people who have specified they don't want a funeral. There is no opportunity to get together, to laugh and cry and remember the person who died. I think we all need that kind of closure.

Today, I'm going to do my best to help Joe and his family remember the best things about his brother. And I hope in some small way, the music that I play will bring a measure of peace and even serenity during a hard time.