The Canoe

As mentioned in my last post, the canoe is one of the 7 wonders of Canada. That reminded me of a funny story.

We were camping one summer in Northern Ontario. We had a tent trailer, 4 children, enough bikes for all and on top of that, we also brought along a canoe. We are notorious for taking EVERYTHING along when we camp.

I'm not sure just where the canoe came from. I seem to remember that someone gave it to us. And no wonder. That thing weighed a ton! But it was a gift and we were camping in the great Canadian north so we had to take it along.


Tim and Kristen must have been 4 and 6 at the time and very excited about going in the canoe. In fact it was all they talked about as soon as they learned that they could "have a ride." They were none too patient as we set up camp and were disappointed that they would have to wait until the next day before their inaugural paddle.


There was no way all 6 of us could fit into the canoe so we asked some friends who were camping with us to watch our two older children while we prepared to take the 2 little ones out. First, we had to drag the thing (remember it weighed a ton) to the water's edge, all the while trying to keep Tim and Kristen in our sites at all times. If there were walls to bouce off of, they would have. They were beside themselves with anticipation. As a matter of fact, there were quite a few campers watching us; Wes and I grunting and groaning, Kristen running around us like the Tazmanian Devil and Tim bouncing along like Tigger. We made quite a spectacle.


We got to the water's edge, put the life jackets on and proceeded to enter the canoe. We had to remind the kids that they couldn't jump because if you've been in a canoe, you know they're pretty tippy. Wes held it steady while I helped Tim in and then Kristen. Then I hopped in.

That was when all hell broke lose. Kristen grabbed the sides of the canoe with a screech. When Wes let go of the canoe and hopped in, the screaming began in earnest. Both kids were terrified. "We're gonna tip! LET ME OUT OF THIS CANOE! I DON'T LIKE THIS DADDY. LET ME OUT! People left their campsites and rushed down to the riverbank to see what was going on, concerned that we were drowning our kids. We tried to shush them but there was no way they could stop. They were pretty hysterical and tried to climb over each other to get to me. Of course, that made the canoe even tippier and caused them to scream louder.

Wes managed to paddle about 4 metres or so before we headed back to shore, dragged the canoe onto the river bank and hiked back to the campsite. I seem to recall that the whole excursion lasted about 4 hours.

We left the canoe behind. Never even took it home.