Yesterday, I had a problem. A pretty big problem. Some very well meaning people planned an outing for me that they thought I'd enjoy. My problem is that after checking the website of the speaker and of the conference, I was pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy it. I know that there will be many women at the conference who will be inspired, challenged and encouraged but this kind of thing is just not my "thing."
My problem though, is how to tell the people who planned this for me that I really didn't want to go. A wise woman suggested to me that I have 2 options: Either be true to myself or keep the peace.
To be true to myself would be to tell my friends that I could not attend this conference. To keep the peace, I would attend, paste a smile on my face and agree that the speaker was indeed funny, inspiring and challenging. While the second option would be easier in some ways, I knew last night that I had to decline the invitation. I'd want to explain why I couldn't go but the reasons for that run deep. I'm pretty sure that my friends would not understand and it would be hard for me to even articulate clearly why I couldn't go. Two hours out of my life is not a long time but there are values and principles that I hold which I would have to deny or set aside in order to participate in this conference.
(At this point some of you who have not clicked on the links for the speaker and conference might be wondering what kind of evil has she gotten herself into and who are her friends anyway? Just click on the links. Those of you who know me will understand)
I have been thinking a lot lately about my values, my passions, my principles and the things that are really important to me. It is for this reason that at this time, I have to decline the invitation. At this time in my life, I need to be true to myself and what I believe and let the chips fall where they may. There will likely be misunderstandings. I may be seen as arrogant. But I will have to live with that. I know that God understands where I'm coming from and that he knows my decision is one that I have made after prayer and consideration and with as much integrity as a fallen, broken, imperfect person can.
During this year, my year of Jubilee, I have decided that I can no longer do things in order to please others. I have spent most of my life doing that, afraid of standing up to people who might not understand where I'm coming from and afraid that they may no longer "like" me. I am realizing in a new way that what they think of me is not my problem, it's theirs. I know that God likes me, he actually loves me. A lot. And that is all that matters.
So, for today, I will be true to myself, to the person God created me to be.
6 comments:
There comes a time when we outgrow certain things, assuming that they ever fit.
way to be strong!
I've never heard of any of those women (although i have heard barbara johnson, who one of them is said to be like).
I HATE women's conferences. Even if I LIKED the women presenting, I still cannot go to them.
I once spent a WEEK and hundreds of dollars at one that sucked the life right out of me. It's been 14 years, and I still can't believe what happened there.
So, I say, good for you!
Age certainly has its benifits. :-)
Hi Linda,
I'm sorry that you didn't want to come to GNO to hear me, but I understand your reasons and I think you did the right thing, too.
Ironically, though, the topic of my talk was how to get over the guilt that other people often impose on us, and instead focus solely on what God wants us to do. I talked a lot about how we try to please others, and meet their demands, rather than go to God and simply ask what He wants from us. And I talked about how God can help us find meaning even in the small things in life, instead of beating ourselves up over unrealistic expectations.
I'm not sure what it was about me that turned you off, but I know not everybody responds the same way. The feeling, though, in the room was very positive.
I'm not really a big women's conference attender, either. The only ones I go to are the ones I speak at. And I try to make them very different from the things I don't like about regular ones. I don't believe in hyping people up and then letting them go. I think God wants more from us than just a fun show.
I wish you all the best,
Sheila Gregoire
Thanks for your comment Sheila. I would love to chat with you over a cup of tea and listen to your heart. I think we'd probably have a lot in common.
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