The Neighbours

Our neighbours have lived in the house next door for about 3 years. When the previous owners told us they sold their house to an exotic dancer, we were a little concerned, although her occupation was just a rumour. I met her briefly that first summer and grew more concerned when I realized that her brother, who she had left in charge while she was in Toronto working, did nothing to curb the weeds or the grass. The house was looking run down and in disrepair.

By the end of the summer, the brother had been kicked out and Angela invited 2 friends of hers to live in the house and care for it while she was away. One of the men lives on the 3rd floor, in his own suite and the other in the basement. The main and second floors are designated for Andrea and her son.

I was a little concerned about this turn of events too. There were always all kinds of people coming and going, men mostly. But I began to notice that when they came, they worked. Slowly, the house began to look like a home. They painted the trim, opened the pool, planted flowers, mowed the lawn and fixed and painted the garage.

Another thing I noticed was that these people were friendly. If I was outside, they would often come over and we'd talk gardening or weather or dogs. They were hard workers. When Andrea was home, we'd often chat about the challenges of owning a home, the behaviour of our dogs and all kinds of things people talk about. Another thing I noticed was that these men LOVED Andrea. They adore her and this summer, I asked her how she did it. She just smiled and proceeded to tell me about how wonderful her friends are.

Andrea is down to earth and friendly. Somehow, she has created a home for John, a chubby bartender with bad teeth and Ted, the manager of a video game store. A couple of men who have had some hard times and their friend, the construction worker who is there almost every day doing construction work.

Before she moved in, I worried about what kind of neighbour this would be-an exotic dancer of all things. Now, I can say that these are some of the best neighbours we have ever had. Certainly more friendly and approachable than the previous owners who, on the outside seem more "normal." And far better than the neighbours in the house we lived in before this one.

Today, they just did the greatest thing. John, Ted, the construction worker guy and another person I don't know, just cleared 10-15 cm of snow off our whole driveway! They must have spent almost 2 hours at it. First snowblowing and then cleaning it up with shovels. Wes said they did a better job than he'd ever do.

Can't ask for better neighbours than that, don't you think?

I think I'll bake them some cookies tonight.

Piano Tuned

Oh sweet music.

I just got my piano tuned and I just love it. It's a little like washing your sheets and then getting into bed and feeling like the sheets are new.

I will go and play my piano now.

November 26

So, I gotta post something today. I've failed at Noblopomo or whatever it is. I had every intention of posting every day but then my life got boring.

I could give you a short synopsis of a typical day but you'd be rolling your eyes by the time I got to 11:00 AM. While I am quite content with how my life is playing out these days, to write about it would be boring.

As some of you may have noticed, Wes, my husband read my Thursday Thirteen blog and left a comment suggesting that he would like to look at the chair I loved. We did that yesterday and... we bought the chair! I can't post a picture of it yet because it has been ordered and will get here in several weeks. Maybe I should post my Christmas list on line and Wes will read it...

Today, we put new hardware on our freshly painted dressers. They look great, don'tcha think? For less than $200.00 we got what looks like brand new dressers. I am thrilled and very thankful to my BIL George who sprayed them for us.

Thursday Thirteen

1. I have attended a centering prayer time at the University of Winnipeg several times over the last few weeks. It is a good time to slow down my mind and think about God and other things holy.
2. Thursday is my "big gym" day. I do a power class with barbells and weights and then a class called "centergy" which is a combination of pilates and yoga. I am amazed that I can actually get through them.
3. Tim didn't have classes this afternoon so he's home. You can always tell when Tim's home because he is either whistling, singing, listening to music or playing the guitar. Guess what Tim is passionate about.
4. Supper times are becoming fun again. For much of the summer, Wes and I ate alone. Now, we have 2 international high school students living with us and Tim and Kristen are frequently home for supper too. I love the conversation that we have around the table.
5. While the weather has gotten a lot colder, today was still a beautiful day. Cold, crisp and sunny.
6. I planted about 120 tulip, narcissus, anemone and other assorted bulbs yesterday, November 22. I didn't think I'd get any of them planted.
7. I bought a large metal star the other day, spray painted it white, added some glitter and garland and will be putting it on my front door. I am very pleased with my creation. I am also a little surprised because I am not very crafty.
8. Sammy, our cocker spaniel had a bath yesterday. He doesn't stink today so I don't mind if he comes up to me and rubs my leg.
9. I went shopping with Kristen yesterday, at Osborne Village. It was a gorgeous day to be outside and we had a good time together. I also saw a chair that I LOVED! Sigh. I am usually more content when I don't shop.
10. Thursdays we run a food bank at our church. I just love working with the people there and serving the clients who come. We serve soup, coffee and cookies because it starts at 6:00 PM and several of the clients come directly from work or school. We have made some good friends and good soup.
11. I started knitting myself a scarf out of silk yarn. The colours are just beautiful.
12. Today, I'm going to help friends with some painting. They are moving this weekend and want to get the painting done.
13. When I am home on Thursday nights, I watch Grey's Academy and ER. I will miss them both tonight.

Welcome Lurkers

I would like to welcome a couple of lurkers that I have just learned about.

They are not particularly computer savy although one of them has taken a computer course. They probably didn't know what a blog was until they started reading mine. Together they make a pretty good team. One of them knits while the other reads the blogs out loud. One of them has a few useless fingers but is quite able to use the good fingers to turn on the computer and find his way around the keyboard, albeit slowly, in the hunt and peck manner.

Their computer isn't particularly powerful and they are still on dial-up so if you try to call them and their line is busy, they're probably on-line.

I never thought they'd ever read my blog. I didn't think that people in their 70's, who have never been into technology (you should see their TV) would actually read blogs.

I guess you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

Welcome to the blogging world mom and dad!

Novmeber 18

Grey Cup Sunday!

I actually gave my ticket away to CJ, Kristen's boyfriend. Instead I was at the MTS Centre where 500 people who receive food from Winnipeg Harvest were able to watch the game on the Jumbotrons. The caterers from the centre donated a fabulous buffet (which we helped serve) and there were many other sponsors who gave door prizes, snacks and other fun stuff. It was a great party.

So, I still was able to watch the game and managed to stay warmer than the rest of the family too.

This one made me laugh

I don't have much energy to write a new post today. I was at the Prairie Leadership Development Network weekend. It was just great but I am a bit tired. I will leave you with a great joke that Jae told me this weekend.

What do you call a bad Mennonite poet?

Corny Reimer

guess where we're going on sunday!

My Favourite Piece of Jewellry

Heather posted some of her jewellry and I thought I'd show you my favourite piece. It is not expensive but I love the setting. My parents gave it to me for my 16th birthday and it is one of the few things I own from my youth. I am not into saving things and I am not terribly nostalgic about stuff so it is pretty cool to still have it. The stone is a Peridot, very pale green, which is the birthstone for August.

Wednesday's Wonderings

1. I wonder what a tower crane operator does if he has to go to the bathroom. It's an awfully long way down and then back up the crane.
2. I wonder if I should do something when I see a drug sale happening right in front of my nose.
3. I wonder what will happen to the cute little girl in the stroller whose father was being escorted out of Portage Place Mall by security this afternoon.
4. I wonder if there is something wrong with me when I need to wear a coat and hat or if there is something wrong with the crazy guy who is walking downtown with only a tee shirt and jeans.
5. I wonder if I'll ever get the painting done in this house.
6. I wonder why Eric never leaves me a comment.
7. Or Micah.
8. I wonder if we'll have snow for Christmas.
9. I wonder how long the island in the kitchen will remain clear and uncluttered.
10. I wonder how often I should mop my new kitchen floor. You cannot see the dirt on it at all so I don't know how dirty it is. And I don't want to mop unless it's absolutely necessary.

I read this today and thought that it was profound.

at the centre of our being is a point of nothingness

which is untouched by sin and by illusion,

a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to god...

this little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty

is the pure glory of god in us...

it is like a pure diamond,

blazing with the invisible light of heaven.

it is in everybody, and if we could see it

we would see these millions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely.

thomas merton

and...

"Let there always be quiet, dark churches in which people can take refuge....Houses of God filled with his silent presence. There, even when they do not know how to pray, at least they can be still and breathe easily."

Introducing... Alisha, my niece, to the blogging world.

What's Your Favourite Meal?

A few days ago I was talking with Michele about a favourite meal. We both like to cook and enjoy trying new flavours and foods so it was a little hard to know just what would be my favourite.

I think for me that it doesn't really matter what is actually cooked. I just love anything that someone else cooks for me, as long as it's from scratch. It can be as simple as meat, veggies and potatoes.

For a few years, when our kids were playing a lot of sports, I would often be the parent who spent Saturdays in the gym, watching the tournaments while Wes would be at home, "holding down the fort" as it were. Frequently, especially when our team was doing well, we wouldn't be finished playing until late afternoon or even early evening. On our way home, we would be hungry and tired and when we walked in the house, supper would be cooked, the table would be set and there might even be a glass of wine by my plate. Those were the best dinners for me.

There was another time when Wes, Rob, Michele and I went to an out of town funeral. Yvonne and George had not yet moved to Winnipeg but they were visiting. When we got home from the funeral, around 7:30 PM, Yvonne had prepared a delicious, lovely, tasty meal for us. All I remember is that she made an amazing chef's salad. I don't remember anything else. It was such a wonderful thing to come home to after an emotionally draining day. It also happened to be my birthday that day and so the gift of the meal was doubly special.

I'd like to encourage all my blogger friends (and even you lurkers) to tell me about your favourite meal. It could be one that you've already had or maybe you have an idea of "the perfect meal" and you can blog about what that looks and tastes like.

Lest We Forget

Happy Birthday Eric!

Wow. Michele already posted about Eric's birthday so I better get going here.

Eric is 23 years old today. It's interesting when I look at him and all my children. I see the young man that he is but I also see the baby, toddler, adolescent and teen, all in the same package. It's hard for me to exactly describe what I see in my children. There is a love that is different for them than for anyone else; there is a sense of awe that these are really my offspring and, how did it happen that I have 4 adult children? I still feel like a kid myself!

Last year I posted for his birthday and in some ways, not much has changed except for a few things. He has a new car. He's in his final year of college. He's still living with Justin and Nicole. He still plays electric guitar, acoustic guitar and mandolin but even better than last year. He and Thomas made some amazing potato guns this spring.

And there are lots of things that I don't know about him too. That's a good thing. A mother really doesn't want to know everything about her kids. I prefer to be in denial.

Eric's always been really good with younger children. He has been part of our Children's Community at the church for a long time and I think kids know that when he hangs out with them, he's having as good a time as they are. He's playing with Aslan's Child again this year and is really excited about that.

Tonight, we'll be having a dessert party around 7:30 for Eric. If you're in the neighbourhood, or even if you're not, take a trip down to our place to wish him a Happy Birthday! I'll leave you with a few pictures.

Don't ya just want to eat him up?

This is when Eric got really cool. Notice the amazing belt buckle he is wearing.

Last Christmas, Eric was thrilled to receive this cookbook. A man who enjoys cooking is a pleasure to have around.

Taking Some Time to Thank Someone

About 7 years ago we had to sell our cute little 5 speed Honda and the truck we owned. It's a long story that I won't go into but our income was cut in half overnight and we had to make some big adjustments. We ended up with a 10 year old Cutlass Cierra (the good car) that Wes drove and a 15 year old Toyota (my car).

I liked the Toyota but after owning it for a few months, we had to replace the engine as well as deal with several other expensive repairs. Once we had a new engine, the car was great and I really enjoyed driving it.

About 2 weeks after all the work was done, I was heading to church on a Sunday morning when someone rear-ended me at a stop light. He was going very fast and actually pushed my car across 3 lanes of traffic. I remember calmly looking at the cars coming towards me and thinking, "So, this is how it's going to end." I was not so calm when I stepped out of the car and started yelling at the idiot who did this to me. (Note to Michele: I think this was a time when you'd agree that yelling was an acceptable response.)

Obviously it didn't end because I'm still here. Surprisingly (miraculously) I didn't even have any whiplash, nor did Kristen or her little friend who were in the back seat.

No, what I was worried most about was how I was going to replace this car. Money was very scarce for us at the time and I had heard of so many bad stories about MPI (Manitoba Public Insurance) that I was certain that I would not get enough money from them to purchase another vehicle.

When I met with the insurance adjuster, I brought along all of the car repair receipts and told him that I felt the car was worth $5,000.00. He took the receipts and told me that he'd call me in a few days.

Sure enough, he called me in a few days and told me that I would get $5,ooo.00. I was ecstatic, never expecting that I would get exactly what I had hoped for. The adjuster was a compassionate man and my experience was so positive that I wrote a thank you note to him.

One day there was a message on our voice mail from the adjuster. He called to thank me for the thank you note. He actually gushed a little. I don't think insurance adjusters get many thank you notes. They get mostly criticism (at times, well deserved). But this time, I was treated so well and received a fair price for my car, I thought that a thank you card was in order. I'll bet he still has that card stuck on his bulletin board at work.

The point of this story? I think that a thank you note is such a small little thing but it can make someone's day. Especially someone who seldom gets positive feedback from the people he deals with. And writing these kinds of notes gives me a good feeling too, a feeling that I am somehow passing on a small bit of kindness to someone who needs it.

Does writing comments on other blogs count for nablopomo? I hope so because that's all I'm doing today.

Yvonne's New Job

Blogging every day can be a challenge! Today, because nothing much exciting happens in my life, I will blog on behalf of my dear sister, Yvonne. She says every now and then that she should start a blog but has never started one. She is what we bloggers call, "a lurker." She reads a number of blogs regularly.

"Yesterday, I started a brand new job.

It was amazing how it all worked out. I was talking with a friend at church who was sharing how the receptionist in her husband's dental office quit, the day after she had finished all of her free dental work. I think that they were feeling used. Linda was saying that they wanted someone responsible and reliable and would I like to work for them?

I gave it some thought, talked to my husband George, kids and my sisters and went for an interview on Friday, November 3. Monday (yesterday) I started my training.

I have never done anything like this before. I have worked in retail for many years at quilt shops and was a favourite teacher at quilting classes*. As a matter of fact, I'm a very gifted quilter.* But I'm pretty smart* and learn things quickly*. I am also very responsible and reliable*.

This is a full-time position for me and I'm looking forward to it. The benefits are great and I will get every other Monday off so that I can still go to Winnipeg Harvest to prepare lunch with my sisters, Linda and Michele. One thing that sucks is that I will not see my sisters as much during the week and Linda will have to haul her butt to the gym on her own.

Last weekend, I cooked 5 meals, baked cookies, a dessert and bought some work clothes. Of the 3 sisters, I am the most organized one* so I think, with some help from my family, this new job will work out really well. And Brad and Linda will be great people to work for."

A great* picture of Yvonne and George. (Yvonne's on the right)

*Because this is MY (Linda's) blog I can include what I want. Yvonne is much too humble to say these things herself.

November 6

Gotta post today. As Dale so kindly reminded me, I did not post last Friday but he (and others) may not have noticed that I posted TWICE on Saturday which makes up for the lack of Friday post. Harrumph.

The house is pretty quiet now except for the sound of the dishwasher and Tim playing his guitar. Pleasant sounds after a busy day. I don't have a lot of energy now and there's laundry that has to be folded but here are a few thoughts flitting through my mind right now.

• I'm sorry the Bombers lost yesterday. It would have been so cool to have the home team playing at the Grey Cup.
• We had Monday night dinner here today. Have I mentioned how much I love Monday nights? The whole, extended family comes here for dinner and even the girlfriends and boyfriends are great.
• Kim performed a couple of songs for us tonight. Beautiful.
• Michele and I volunteered at Winnipeg Harvest today. Yvonne usually does too but she just started a new job and wasn't able to come. I love the people at Winnipeg Harvest. I worked there for about 4 years and a couple of days after I quit the kids said that I didn't have any good stories to tell them at the supper table anymore. At Winnipeg Harvest there was always something bizzare, odd, hilarious or gross happening. Every day.
• We now have 2 international students living with us. Medardo is from Mexico and Nik is from Germany. I was afraid having 2 would seem a little overwhelming but I actually really like it. They get along and they are both great guys. I'm enjoying having them around.
• The weather today was warm (for November) cloudy and a little rainy. It reminded me of winter days in S. Ontario, where I grew up. Give me a cold, sunny day anytime.

That's all folks. Nothing too exciting happening here but life is good.

Church

I love my church community. Sunday mornings I often can't wait to get there to see what our musicians will sing, what our pastor (my BIL) will say and what other interesting and creative things the Service Planning and Implementation team has added.

The building is nothing to look at except for the amazing mural we have painted on the side of it. It has no steeple, pews or organ and the carpet is so stained, it's starting to get to me. It's kind of cluttered and the walls have scuff marks and scratches from the wheelchairs. The kitchen needs a lot of work. And it seems to me that on many Sundays, I end up with a broken chair. Sometimes, I dream about a beautifully decorated building with new chairs, new carpeting and a new kitchen.

But then I remember the church that I used to attend and the day that all the children (only the kids mind you) were told to remove their muddy footwear because they would dirty the carpet. And the feeling I would get when I walked into the place and wasn't sure if I was allowed to sit on the couch.

Give me a dirty carpet any day. Give me a place where kids are allowed to run and play; a place where the participants of Community Venture (a Salvation army program for mentally and physically challenged adults) can play floor hockey; a place where an amazing costume party can be held on Saturday, followed by an inspiring service on Sunday.

I love the people including John, the old bachelor who doesn't usually smell too fresh, the family from Nigaragua who can barely speak English, the pastor's wife (my dear sister) who doesn't look or act like a pastor's wife but is one of the most spiritual, honest and funny people I know. I love my blogger friends (you know who you are) and all the broken people who make up our motley crew of people. Some are long time born again Christians, some are brand new Christians and some (quite a few actually) aren't really sure where they stand on the God and Jesus thing. They only know that they like what happens in our building and want more of it.

More than anything, we encourage people to ask questions and to wonder about God and spirituality. We don't try to fit them into any kind of a mold or force them to dress or act in a certain way. We don't tell them that once they become a Christian all their problems disappear. Most of us have experienced too much disappointment, loss and pain to believe that for a second.

What we try to do is to laugh with each other, cry with each other and support one another in any way we can. And in doing so, we reflect the incredible love that God has for everyone of us.

We are far from perfect. There is a lot that we don't do well but there are enough things that are good about this place that keep me coming back. Never does a Sunday go by where I don't learn something about God or myself.

It is a place where I experience life, love, community, joy and peace. A place where Jesus is becoming more and more real to me.

A place where I belong.

New Boots

Yesterday, I left my new boots by the back door and when Tim, my 19 year old son came in and saw them, he said, "I see Kristen bought a new pair of boots."

I am one cool mom, wouldn't you say?

Back in Canada

Most times, when I am in a strange city, I'm with Wes and he does the driving. He doesn't mind and I'm just as happy to sit in the passenger seat and keep my eyes open for whatever it is we're looking for.

This last trip in Fargo, I did all the driving. Kristen, like me was happy to let me do the driving and she just watched for street signs and such. Most of our driving was good and I was feeling comfortable in this city. It helps that the laws, signs and traffic are much the same in the US as in Canada. We did have a moment though where I was afraid that we might not make it home without a serious mishap.

We were looking for a restaurant for supper and when we saw it, I went into the left lane to get into the parking lot. Once I got there however, I realized that this was not the right entrance and I had to go to the next opening in the boulevard.

So I kept driving. Everything seemed okay until I noticed the left turn sign, painted on the road was upside down and pointing in the opposite direction that it should have been. And while the boulevard was on my left earlier, it was now on my right.

Have you ever had a moment where the truth of what was happening to you dawned on you very slowly and suddenly you realized you were in a very vulnerable position with no way of getting out? That's what happened to me. I was in the left turn lane alright but it was the lane for oncoming traffic. Cars that had to turn left were coming towards me and there was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do. I calmly said to Kristen that I thought I was in the wrong lane and WHAT SHOULD I DO? I CAN'T MOVE BECAUSE ALL THE CARS ARE COMING TOWARDS ME AND I SHOULD TURN THE THING ON!

Without missing a beat, Kristen turned on the hazard lights. (It's a good thing she understood what I was trying to say.) She remained very calm, a character trait that reminds me of her dad. I think she even told me to relax or something but I was too busy being hysterical to rememeber what exactly she said.

We stayed there, in the wrong lane for what seemed like a long time, but in reality was probably only 15 seconds and when there was a break in traffic, I did a quick U-turn. Whew.

And that was enough excitement for that day.

November 2

Today, we shopped till we dropped.

As you can see, there were quite a few purchases that Kristen and I made. I'm afraid we'll be over the $250.00 per person that we are allowed tax free. Hopefully we'll have a friendly customs officer who will wave us through. I got a pair of boots and a coat, 2 things that I was hoping to buy. Kristen got some jeans, a cute pair of shoes and some work pants. Both of us were able to purchase the things that we had hoped to get so it has been a pretty successful shopping trip thus far.

A few more things we've noticed about North Dakota:

• Kristen noticed that the guys who work at Abercrombie and Fitch are generally quite hot.
• I discovered a store that I love. Coldwater Creek . Too bad it's not in Canada.
• We saw very few visible minorities. Almost everyone we saw was caucasian.
• In Canada, when you are carrying clothing that you'd like to try on, a salesperson will take it off your hands and start you a change room. They don't do that here. You carry all the clothes you want to try on and take them to a fitting room yourself.
• When it comes right down to it, West Acres Mall is not all that different from any mall in Canada.

That's all for now folks. I think we'll visit Abercrombie and Fitch again either tonight or tomorrow.

Just to look.

Happy Hallowe'en

Hello. My name is Linda and I hate hallowe'en.

That's right. I hate it. My creativity does not extend to making costumes out of popsicle sticks and cotton balls and everytime October 31 came around, I was reminded of my inadequacies. My procrastination would find me going nuts in the morning of the 31st, trying to find something that would fit over a snowsuit in case of cold weather or not, in case of warm.

And the candy. How can a candy addict possibly hand out candy to children and not eat at least half of it? My stomach would be aching and my tongue would be hurting from all the sugar.

I am so glad that I don't have to deal with any of that anymore. Last year only very few children came by our house so yesterday, for the first time in my life, I did what all the grouches do. I turned out the lights and pretended I wasn't home. I know. I'm an ogre. Too bad. I hate hallowe'en.

I was also a lazy mom. Allowing them only 2 treats per day as the "experts" recommend seemed to require far too much time and effort on my part, so, I allowed them candy eating periods. They were allowed as much candy as they could eat in 15 or 20 minutes. This way, all the candy was gone within a week. Hallowe'en was quickly forgotten.

I really admire all the people who can enjoy this holiday. Many of you enjoy the challenge of creating a unique and inexpensive costume. You have a creative bent that I can only dream of. But now, as I am dealing with an impending empty nest and the hard things that come with it, I know that hallowe'en is one thing that I never have to sweat about again.

So there.

November 1

This month is NaBloPoMo month and like ccap, I will attempt to post every day. There is a good chance that you'll get bored because interesting things don't usually happen in my life daily. I will try to keep most of these posts short.

Today, I am writing from the Best Western Hotel in Fargo, ND. I am not in the habit of cross-border shopping but for Kristen's 18th birthday we thought it would be fun to have a "girl's" outing. We did a bit of shopping this evening and will shop till we drop tomorrow. Friday morning we'll be heading back to Winnipeg.

Things that I have noticed so far:

• North Dakotans are generally a very friendly bunch.
• Male salespeople welcome both of us into their stores but they look at Kristen, not me.
• The roads in the US are much better than the roads in Canada. But I always remind myself that if we didn't have public health care, the government would have more money for roads.
• There was almost no snow south of Grand Forks.
• The lattes at Starbucks taste the same.
• Alcohol is a lot cheaper here! (hic)

That's all for now folks. Good night.

Happy Birthday Kristen!

Kristen turned 18 today. My youngest child is now 18-able to vote, drink and make her own decisions without my consent. I am glad that she has made and is making wise decisions these days so I don't really need to worry. Still, as a mom, I do.


Although she was born on October 31, her due date was October 14. She was 18 days overdue. Eighteen looooooooong days overdue. On October 28, I went to the hospital to be induced. I was put on the drip and after 7 hours, nothing was happening so I was sent home. That was depressing. A few days later I was induced again and thankfully, after a rather intense 4 hours, she was born.

Kristen and I have had some tough times but I think the worst of those times are over. We've both grown, changed and compromised and that makes for a much more harmonious relationship. Her health is still very good and we are so grateful for that.

So, happy birthday Kristen! I love you.

Sammy's bad hair day

In my last Thursday Thirteen, I mentioned that I bought a dog grooming kit for Sammy. We used it yesterday with some success. The dog looks like he's got a bad haircut. Sammy was pretty obedient but he did not enjoy the process. Neither did Wes nor I. By the end of the evening we had all inhaled enough dog hair for a lifetime and were covered in dog hair. We needed a shower, our clothes had to be washed and we could not stop sneezing.

We are giving the grooming kit away.

Before.

After. (Notice how one ear is longer than the other. I must admit that this is one bad haircut!)

The Second Time Ben Kept Me Up All Night

In my previous post, I wrote that Ben has kept me up all night long only twice in my life. The first time was the day of his birth-my water broke around midnight and he was born sometime between 6 and 8 in the morning.

The second time he kept me up all night was when he was 18 years old. At this time Ben had been going out with friends and staying out till midnight or so for at least a year. Most of the time, I'd stay awake until I heard him come home but sometimes, I'd fall asleep before that. Generally, I'd wake up at some point in the night and if I hadn't heard him, I'd just go downstairs and see if his shoes were by the back door. It was a good system. I didn't have to go into his room and wake him up if he was asleep and I could go back to sleep knowing he was safely in bed.

One particular night I had fallen asleep early and sure enough, it was around 1:00 AM when I woke up and hadn't heard him come home. I went downstairs to look for his shoes but they weren't there. I was a little annoyed because it was past his curfew. I was wide awake by this time and decided to stay in the living room and wait for his arrival. I made a cup of tea and began reading my book but by 2:00 I could no longer concentrate. I began to worry. Then, I began to pace. By 3:00 AM I was trying to tell myself that if something happened, the police would have informed me by now. At 4:00 AM I considered calling all the emergency wards in the local hospitals. I also considered calling his friends but was concerned that if he wasn't with them, I would have awakened them needlesly. And then they would worry (probably not but I was not thinking too coherently). Finally, at 5:00 AM I fell into a fitful sleep.

It was a Saturday night and I had to be up early to get to church on time. I was usually involved with the service so I'd often leave early and Wes would come later with the kids. I was pretty tired and stressed so the music practise that I led didn't go too well. When we finished, people started coming in as they usually do and at one point, Wes came in with our children, including Ben. To my sleep deprived eyes, it looked like Ben was swaggering. Because we were in church and there would have been witnesses, I decided not to kill him. Instead, I hissed, "Where were you last night?"

He looked at me, puzzled and replied calmly, "In my bed."
I hissed again, "What time did you come home?"
"I don't know, around 12:30 I guess."
Less hissy, but still angry I asked him, "Where were your shoes?"
He was very puzzled by now, wondering what his shoes had to do with this conversation.

"I don't know. I wore my boots."

Happy Birthday Ben!

I was going to begin this post by saying, "This post should have been written on October 6..." but I am trying my best not to use words like "should, must, have to" and others. They are often referred to as "absolutes" and I use them far too much.

It was Ben's birthday on October 6. My oldest son was born on October 6, 1981 at approximately 8:00 AM. That was the first of only 2 times he has kept me up all night. The second time was not his fault. I suppose the first time wasn't his fault either.

Ben's always been a great son. (Oh no. My first "absolute." I'll keep it in though. Even though we've had our differences, he's always been a great son.) I remember in the year he was born we had a beautiful fall and we spent many happy hours together, he in his pram (Yes. I had a pram) and me pushing it. For about 2 years Ben was an only child and he went everywhere with Wes and I. As long as he had his blankie (yeah, can you imagine Ben with a blankie?) he would settle down and fall asleep anywhere.

Ben was unique from most other children in that when it was time to clean up, he actually did. The caregivers in the church nursery would often tell me that when it was time to clean up, Ben would actually listen and clean up. All the other children would put one or two things away but Ben would get right into it. He's always been a really hard worker. I remember the time when he was probably 8 or 9 and we were expecting Wes's parents for a visit. They were driving from Ontario and ended up coming one day sooner than we expected. I was in a panic. Wes' mom is a dear, sweet woman and she keeps an immaculate house. My house was (is) never immaculate and that day especially, it was a mess. I gathered up the kids (ages 9, 7, 4 and 3) and told them that grampa and gramma were coming IN TWO HOURS. They must have sensed that this was a huge deal for me and they all cleaned up like troopers. Ben however, led the way and I was amazed that he actually saw what needed to be done, without my direction, and then did it. I will always be grateful to him for that.

Ben was involved in volleyball and basketball while he attended school and excelled at both sports. His work ethic was apparent in the way he played sports too. He was focussed and worked hard at doing what had to be done in order to win games. His attitude was good too. He was not in the habit of bad mouthing other teams, refs, or people. In that way Ben has a very balanced attitude towards everything in life. A great character trait to have.

This year, he has turned 25. It is wonderful to see many of the positive character traits I saw already so many years ago develop and grow. He is married to a lovely woman, works hard at his job and volunteers at church. I see him at least twice a week and still enjoy his company. Our relationship is changing. I feel less like a mother who has to take care of him and more like an equal, although sometimes I'd like to take a comb to his hair and razor to his whiskers...

It's been quite a trip. When I held him in my arms 25 years ago, I never gave a thought to what life would be like having an adult for a son. While much about him has changed, it amazes me that my love for him remains as strong and fierce as it did the day he was born. I think that will always be the same.

And so, I'd like to wish a happy birthday to Ben. It is my hope and prayer that this year will bring you great joy, happiness and peace. That wish will always be the same.

Thursday Thirteen

1. Wes and I ate leftover Chicken Caesar Pasta for supper.
2. Sammy, the dog, had duck.
3. Sammy has developed an itchy, uncomfortable skin rash and the vet thinks he’s allergic to his food. Now we need to buy (very expensive) specialty dog food from the vet. As a result, we’ll be noshing on noodles and no name products while the dog dines on duck.
4. Pure bred dogs tend to get skin rashes.
5. I spent 2 ½ hours at the gym today. I feel good but a little tired. I don’t do this every day.
6. I met with a woman this afternoon that lost her husband when she was only 42 in a tragic accident. That was about 14 years ago.
7. Today I bought some dog clippers at Canadian Tire because they were on sale and I thought, “Hey, I cut the hair of my husband, sons, nephews and occasionally my brother-in-law, I can do the dog too.” It came with a DVD which I will watch after I’ve finished my Thursday Thirteen.
8. It was another, absolutely gorgeous fall day today.
9. We had our elm trees trimmed yesterday. The people who were climbing the trees looked like they were having a lot of fun.
10. Several weeks ago my neighbour was getting water in her basement and thought that she would have to replace her water line. It turned out it was our water line that was leaking and WE had to replace OURS. Ouch. That was expensive. She was happy but we weren’t although we now have much better water pressure than before.
11. Today, I took a day off of painting. I was getting pretty bored and tired of it. I’ll get back to it next week.
12. If it wasn’t for Yvonne, I would not be going to the gym as often as I do now. I would have probably quit.
13. We have 3 teenagers living with us and not one of them were here for supper today. That’s why Wes and I had leftovers.

Eric and his Hot Newish Car

When Eric started school, we gave him our 1991 Oldsmobile to drive. We had purchased it for $5,000 in 2001 and it was a good car. Old Betsy finally died near the end of August of 2006 and was promptly sent to the wreckers. This is Eric's new car. A Cavalier. As you can see, he is very proud of it. He bought it at the MPI auction for $800.00 and spent about another $400.00 in fixing it up (thanks Uncle George).

I'm told that it is not exactly a "hot" car. Eric will have to wait for that when he's finished school.

Happy travels Eric!

Darlene

I should be painting instead of blogging but it has been almost a month and I’m sure all my blogger friends are wondering just what it is that I am doing that is so important. I really want to get the painting done because the paint cans, brushes, ladders and other paraphernalia do not fit with my idea of décor.

But blog I must because I’m finally ready to tell you about Darlene.

Darlene has been a part of my life since I was born and while I always knew she was there, it wasn’t until I was an awkward and (I thought but really wasn’t) fat teenager that I began to notice her and hate her. It was Darlene that kept me from ever feeling beautiful and sexy. She would always get in the way of everything I was trying to do. She made it hard for me to put on my shoes, or find pants that fit. She kept me from buying clingy dresses and bikinis. When I walked or ran, she kept wiggling and jiggling long after the rest of me stopped. I tried my best to keep her out of pictures that were taken of me. She has embarrassed me many times and about 8 months ago, I decided that it was time to stop letting her do that.

So, I started going to the gym regularly and faithfully. I am mostly happy with the results except my stomach doesn’t seem to be shrinking much. I am 49 years old and have had 4 pregnancies, all resulting in healthy babies. One was almost 11 pounds. I am beginning to realize that my belly will always hold a prominent place in my body and in my life. I could continue to hate it and let it hold me back but instead, I’ve decided to name my belly Darlene and actually show her the love and respect that she deserves.

I have decided that I will no longer try to hide her. I shall wear clothing that shows her in all her glory. And I will no longer be embarrassed by her. I will accept her as she is. And should she shrink a little more, I will be happy but I will not obsess about her if she decides to stay around.

Darlene is like battle scars or old sports injuries. Pregnancies, unsuccessful attempts at dieting (which only caused me to gain weight) are all part of that lumpy, bumpy, jiggly stretch-marked flesh that is mine. I can let her embarrass me or I can be proud of the fact that she and I have survived and thrived through 49 years of living.

So Darlene, welcome. You may stay. However, the less I notice you, the better I will like it. I promise that I will no longer compare you to others. I will not be jealous of those cute, skinny women who have no idea what it is like to have a companion like you. I will no longer stare at my teenaged daughter and her friends, looking for their companions. And when Wes tells me that he loves Darlene too, I will believe him. And maybe, just maybe, I'll buy myself a biki...

Maybe not.

More Worms

We took out the baseboards so they'll need to be repainted and reinstalled.

The reason for Derrik's "Oh s***" is the fact that the island in the kitchen is crooked. Very crooked. We knew this before but the old floor had been installed before we noticed it, of course. The people who installed the old floor didn't seem to care much about how it looked. They just wanted to finish it. Fortunately, Derrik is a little more particular. What this meant is that last night Wes removed the island, or at least most of it as one cabinet couldn't be taken away because it is attached to the plumbing lines.

The island will be straight. That's good. Everything will look almost as good as new once it's all done but we've got a bit of work ahead of us, that's for sure.

I'm hoping that the can is empty now.

This Old House and a Can of Worms

Oh yes. The proverbial can of worms has been opened. We are supposed to get a much needed new kitchen floor. It was going to be easy. One day was all it would take.

Yesterday Derrick and his side kick (don't know his name yet) arrived at 3:45, just as I was going out the door to pick Kristen up from one job and take her to her other one. I asked them if they were here to start on the floor and Derrick responded by saying yes. His body language said, "Of course lady, what did you think I was doing here?" They were supposed to have come at 9:30 that morning.

(An aside: I have met a few floor installers over the years as we've done renovations a number of times in the various houses we've owned. Most of them seem to be pretty tough. Wes tells me that when his company is doing a job where criminal record checks are required, they often have trouble finding carpet layers who don't have a record. It's a hard job and I suppose somebody's got to do it. I feel perfectly safe with these guys around though. I've got Sammy to protect me.)


My protector.












In an older house, I can say without exaggerating, that every single time you do anything, it never goes exactly as you planned. Today is no exception. When Derrick and the other guy lifted the old vinyl flooring, the worms began spilling out of the can. They (Derrick and the other guy) were appalled, I say appalled, at what they found. The sub floor was not properly attached to the other part of the floor (I really don't know the proper terms for all of this). It was attached with, horrors, drywall screws. That's why there was so much squeeking (I hadn't really noticed. It's an old house after all. There are lots of squeeks. That's part of the charm.)

Anyway, this means that the kitchen will probably take 2 more days to finish and then the carpet that they will be laying will not happen until Monday. And this was all supposed to take 2 days.

Bill, the boss, came and checked things out and now, after consultation with the homeowners (me and Wes) we have decided to replace the sub floor too. It will be the cheapest way to do it. (Ha Ha. Cheapest. That's a good one. There won't be anything cheap about that.)
Oh well, we'll have a great sub floor. I think it's kind of like buying underwear. You spend a lot of money on something that people will not see but you really notice if it's not there or not the right kind.

I just heard Derrik say something like, "this is going to be a long drawn out process." Then he said something that sounded like, "Oh s***."

Oh dear. Maybe I'm looking at 3 more days before I have my kitchen back. I'll keep you posted (as if you care).

Happy Birthday Wes!

Forty-eight years ago today, the man who would most impact my life as an adult was born. I didn't know him until 19 years later and didn't really "know" him (in the biblical sense) until the day I married him, almost 27 years ago.

I'd love for Wes to write a "100 Things About Me" list but I'll just have to write something on his behalf. I won't try for 100 but I'll do my best to write a list to help you know him a little better.

1. Wes is the only person in this household who never loses socks. I have at least half a dozen singles in my drawer, hoping that their other halfs will show up. Wes has none.
2. He is a hard worker.
3. He often finishes up things that I have started and gotten bored with.
4. Once, when I was helping him move something heavy, he said to me, "Don't worry, it's not heavy, just awkward." Now, anytime anything has to be moved, people in our family use that line. Wes will never live that one down. It has become family legend.
5. He laughs out loud at movies. And I mean OUT LOUD. The rest of us are giggling silently but Wes guffaws.
6. He owned a blue volkswagen when I fell in love with him.
7. He was wearing brown, double knit pants when I first fell in love with him. I looked past the pants and saw the man underneath. (No smart comments on this one. You know what I mean)
8. I taught him that you could buy stuff at stores other than Woolco.
9. He was not too proud to wear the free shirts that you used to be able to get at SuperStore when you spent $250.00.
10. When the kids were young, he would almost always put them to bed.
11. He cleans up the supper dishes.
12. He used to do almost all the grocery shopping. Now, I'm in charge and he does only some of the grocery shopping.
13. He seldom complains.
14. He's only crabby when he's hungry so I try to make sure that supper is ready for him when he comes home.
15. He makes his own lunch.
16. He knows how to barbeque a rare steak.
17. He is very strong.
18. He always kisses me when he goes to work even if I have peanut butter in my mouth.
19. I can almost alway guess what he is going to order at a restaurant because it's usually the most unique item. I generally go with the more predictable choice. I often like his better.
20. He's neater than I am.
21. Sharing a dessert with him is good when I'm on a diet. He can eat a piece of cheesecake in 5 bites while I tend to eat it more slowly.
22. He is very willing to remove dead mice from traps.
23. He loves my sisters and their families.
24. He loves me, our children and our daughter-in-law.
25. When we go on trips, he makes sure that he has booked a hotel. We have only one story of being stranded late at night without a hotel to go to. If a car needs to be rented, he does that too.
26. He has never complained about my messiness.
27. He has taught me to slow down and to think before I speak. If I ask him a question, he often thinks about it for a while before he says something.
28. He has incredible patience, especially with cranky babies.
29. He has incredible patience, especially with a cranky wife.
30. He signed up to do the baking at church for a Sunday morning.

I could come up with 100 but I'll leave it at 30 for now because I want to post this today and I need to get some work done too.

Happy birthday Wes!

Waiting...

This morning, I got up early, anticipating the arrival and installation of my new kitchen floor. Last night Wes and I worked hard to get everything ready and now, the washer, dryer, frig and stove are in the dining room, the kitchen table and chairs are in the living room and other things can be found in strange places in my house.

Right now, it's 1:04 PM and my anticipation is waning. They're not here yet. I do not think that they could finish the kitchen in one afternoon so we'll be living in this disorganized mess for at least 2 days.

I keep having to remind myself that in a few days, everything will be neat and tidy and all of my stuff will have found it's proper place.

I hope.

More Homemaking News

In my post yesterday I suggested that there was somthing else I wanted to share with you. I just remembered. Did you know that people are beginning to do more of their own housework again? Yes. That's right. They are getting rid of the cleaning services and are finding value and a sense of accomplishment in doing their own housework. And what's more, THEY ARE POLISHING THEIR OWN SILVER AND DOING THEIR OWN WINDOWS.

Oh for the good old days when we had other people polishing our silver and washing our windows.

Tim washed a few windows for me the other day. Does that count as "doing your own?" Maybe I should pull out my silver and start polishing it.

Wait... I just remembered. I don't have any silver.

Linda's Decorating Tips

I normally go to the gym 5 days a week. No, I'm not one of THOSE kinds of people. I just know that it needs to be part of my daily routine or else I will not keep it up.

But this post is not about the gym. This post is about a television show you just may want to watch if you have the good fortune of being at home with nothing better to do than watch TV at 10:00 in the morning.

I don't watch much TV at home-usually the 10:00 news and if I can stay awake, the local news at 10:30. I am however, able to watch TV at the gym. I'm on the cross-trainer around 9:00 in the morning and I usually have several television show options. They are the Sports channel, children's TV (why that channel, I don't know. There isn't anyone younger than 18 there at that time), some entertainment show and something call City TV.

None of those shows really interest me but I generally end up watching City TV. It reminds me of the women's magazines that Heather loves to hate but it is in the form of a TV show. They usually have a guest on the show who talks about fashion, home decor, the latest plastic surgery available, food and anything else people (women) might find interesting. Today, I learned a great decorating tip that I would like to pass on to you, my blogger friends.

When you have a party at your home you would hate to run out of toilet paper, wouldn't you? (Collective nod of the head) Some people have a type of cylindrical holder by the toilet but that hides the toilet paper and your guests might not know that is where the extra TP is kept. (What kind of friends does she have?)

Well, our designer has come up with a cute fun way to keep your TP in plain sight. I have attempted to duplicate this but it wasn't easy. Designers always make things look so easy but really, they tend to be difficult to copy. Here is my effort:

To brighten it up, you're supposed to put silk flowers in the holes but I didn't have any. I've gotten rid of a lot of my junk so there was nothing I could put into the holes to show you just how attractive this might look in YOUR bathroom for your next event.

Actually, I was thinking of buying some OHenry bars and putting them in the holes. My guests might appreciate that.

There was one other tip that I found particularly interesting but I can't remember it right now. If I do, I'll post that at another time.

Eat your heart out Rena Nerbass!

Mouse Invasion

Every morning for breakfast, I eat half a bagel with peanut butter and jam. I've been having this for breakfast for more years than I can remember but I'm still not tired of it. Yesterday morning, this is what I found:
It was the last bagel in the house because yesterday was grocery day so I had to eat A PIECE OF TOAST INSTEAD! I was so disappointed!

Last year I wrote a piece about the vermin that comes into my house every fall season. I thought I'd re-post it for you all.

"The invasion has begun.The army that would like to conquer, chew and destroy has already sent at least 2 sentinels. We know they are still in the area because we have seen some evidence of their presence. Early one morning, Tim actually saw them but as it was 6:00 AM and he was moving a little slowly, he was unable to track them down.

You'd think they'd learn. You'd think their fathers and mothers, grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins would have let them know that although they might find some sustenance in certain locations of this house, they would eventually meet their demise here.

And so we begin the battle yet again. I pull out my arsenol, all nicely packaged together in a plastic bag. Death Traps, check. Sticky traps, check. Poison, check. Humane traps, check (although I still can't understand why my own husband would buy a mouse trap that allows the rodent to live so that it can be released-Where? Back into my house!) A plug-in thingy that apparently makes noise that only a mouse can hear. This one particularly takes the cake as I'm convinced that the sound attracts rather than repels this army.

I suppose that you can't really blame the poor critters. It's getting cold outside and like us humans, they like to live at ease, where the food is plentiful and the temperature is comfortable. They get all of this in my house. I have been told that I have a gift for hospitality and the mice seem to sense this. The food can easily be found in the bedrooms of certain residents of this abode, in the family room couch or under the fridge and stove in the kitchen. Mice really don't need much to keep them going-chocolate bar wrappers, cracker crumbs, even empty slurpee cups can seem like a feast to a cold and hungry mouse. We even leave nesting material around for them like clothes, blankets or paper on the floor. Last year, they spent some time in the boots of a teenage guest who was living with us but then decided to take up residence in her gym bag because the food and clothes, readily available, were preferable to the footwear.

The year we moved into this house we caught 17 mice in the fall. We had never had mice in any of our previous homes so we were unprepared for this onslaught and it was too late when we finally began fighting back. I think that was the year that word got around in the mouse community that our house was party central.

But I've learned. My nephew Joey frequently tells the story when "Auntie Linda killed 4 baby mice on the stairs with a toilet plunger." Actually it was a toilet brush and there were 5 mice (but who's keeping track anyway). As sickened as I was about this brutal murder, I just knew that if I didn't get them when I saw them, I'd be battling with their offspring in a few short months. And boy do they know how to procreate.

Today, I can say with a measure of certainty that I am smarter than a mouse. I have discovered tricks that will get a mouse every time or at least most times. This year, I'm ready. I've got traps loaded with my prefered ammo-peanut butter. I've laid them out in strategic locations and eagerly look forward to asking Wes or Tim to check the traps every morning before they leave for work. (I am a fairly independent, liberated woman. But when it comes to emptying mouse traps, I believe that it is a man's job. Fortunately both of the males I live with are willing to do this rather unpleasant job.)

So, the battle will continue until the snow falls or things freeze up around here. But I'm ready. Bring 'em on. I'll take care of 'em. Maybe they'll be smarter than their forefathers and foremothers and will tell the younger generation that the neighbour's house is far more appealing than mine."

ATM Etiquette

Yesterday I read a story in the Free Press about someone who had found money in a bank machine. The previous person must have forgotten to remove it and the finder was trying to track down the person who lost the money. Apparently, the bank can't even track it down.

This reminded me of a similar story that happened to me several years ago. I was in the car with Michele and we decided that we would go to one of those drive-thru ATMs. I had never used one before and was driving slowly as I was trying to figure out just where I had to go in and how close I had to be to the machine to reach the buttons.

There was an older model car behind me and the person driving it seemed very impatient with me because I wasn't moving too quickly. I thought he needed to learn a lesson so I slowed down even more and really took my time at the ATM. He seemed to be losing his patience with me but I didn't care. I figured he needed to learn to slow down.

Finally, I was finished my transaction, put the car in gear and started driving away towards the parking lot. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the man who had been behind me raced out of the stall at the ATM machine and began following me. I was frightened because I had heard stories of road rage and this guy, with his long stringy hair and dirty clothes fit my idea of a man out of control.

He began honking his horn and swerving around, and at one point I began to realize that he wasn't angry, he was just trying to get my attention. I slowed down and opened my window. He rolled down his window and handed me some cash-the cash I had left in the ATM machine. I thanked him, he nodded and went off to do his transaction.

I was embarrassed at my insensitive actions and wished that I could speak with the man and buy him a coffee but of course, that was not to be.

Who do you think learned a lesson that day?

For Tom and Becky

That Black Cloud

I went to the doctor today. The good news is that I am 13 pounds lighter than I was last year. Yippee!

The other good news is that she has extended my anti-depressant medication for another 5 months. I have been on this medication for about 2 months and I was not ready to blog about it until now. I figure if RLP can blog about depression then I can too.

It’s hard to know when it all actually started but I had been fighting a black cloud since the fall of 2005. It is likely longer than that but it was in September that I began thinking that this was more than just “the blues.” I hadn’t been sleeping well, I was having trouble controlling my eating, I had little energy and just felt kind of empty. What really troubled me though was that I couldn’t remember the last time I really laughed. Anytime something good would happen, or I’d have some fun, I just couldn’t appreciate it. I felt anxious and guilty all the time. I used up any energy I had in order to remain positive and upbeat.

I thought that anti-depressants might help and I spoke to a psychologist about it. She agreed that it was likely that I was depressed and that medication might be helpful. I don’t know if depression is genetic or not but my grandmother was on medication and I really think that my mom has been depressed so, it really should be no surprise to me that I too could be depressed.

Things at home were mostly pretty peaceful. Except for a few incidents with Kristen that I am not proud of, I did not yell or carry on too much. I did not cry a lot and I wasn’t suicidal. My greatest fear was that I would take medication and it wouldn’t help because I wasn’t depressed, I was just feeling sorry for myself and had to “suck it up.”

Within a week of starting my medication, I began to feel better. After about 2 weeks, I really began to notice a difference. I was laughing, I was having fun, I was sleeping and I began to feel happier. I did not have to use all of my energy to stay happy. Wes says that I’m more engaged at home now. Before, I was pretty quiet and chose to spend my time at home alone-reading or watching TV. Everything seemed to be a chore.

I am grateful for the many medications that are available these days. The one I’m taking has a few minor side effects-things I can easily live with. I have been enjoying the summer and have not been thinking too much about the fall. Hopefully I’ll be willing and ready to jump in and begin my work at the church. I just feel that this summer has been one of healing and joy. I’m enjoying my time at home and feel that I have become more balanced and content.

I was really hesitant to start down this path. It seems that depression is very common among women in North America. It seems strange to me that there are so many of us who need this kind of help. Why can that be? Are we just a bunch of wimps who just need to snap out of it? Are we so self absorbed that we cannot deal with a bit of stress and anxiety? Are we unable to deal with an imperfect world and so need to depend on a pill? Can I not accept the fact that life sucks sometimes and that I don’t always feel great?

I wonder how many people in Africa need to be on anti depressants. They say it’s a chemical imbalance of the brain. I’m sure that a chemical imbalance happens just as frequently in an African brain as in a North American brain.

I have no answers but I do know one thing. The pills are working and I am a happier, more content person today than I was a few months ago. I will continue taking them for as long as necessary and perhaps some answers may come to me as my brain becomes less fuzzy and I am able to think more clearly. I know one thing. My family has their mom back and I think that’s pretty important.

Depression is a tough thing. I am grateful that mine is not as debilitating as it can be for some people. There have been no thoughts of suicide or of hurting myself. But in its own way, this has been a hard road to follow. It is not something that you can see, like a broken arm or a bad cut. But it’s there and only the person who is experiencing it can really tell what it’s like. For me, it wasn’t too obvious. I was able to function fairly well. But the energy it took to remain positive was extreme. I’m getting my energy back and I’m grateful for the people around me who I’ve told who have given me so much encouragement and support. To have that kind of community around me is the best thing I could hope for. They know who they are and I am so thankful to them.

Okay. Last cute dog picture today. The dog cousins are bunking together although Jed is definitely more relaxed than Sammy-and it's Sammy's kennel!

I'm Alive and Doing Fine

This will be short. I just wanted to let all of my blogger friends know that I'm alive and doing fine. I haven't blogged for quite a while-there has been much other stuff to keep me occupied this summer. Like...

• the beautiful weather;
• the fact that we have a pool and when people come over to swim, I need to sit out there and provide them with stimulating conversation and companionship;
• watering my garden-It's been so dry here that it's hard to keep up;
• going to Assiniboine Park to watch "Ballet in the Park";
• renovating and fixing up the back porch;
• spending time with Kristen*
• enjoying time with Glenda and her family;
• reading. I've read 2 books (Time Traveller's Wife and The Twins of Trebeca) although I didn't really enjoy either one of them too much. They were okay but just okay. (I know that there will be some people who do not agree with me, especially with The Time Traveller's Wife.) I still love reading and even books that don't really grab me can still be entertaining.

*Until now, Kristen has been home quite a lot this summer. She hasn't been getting many shifts at Esprit, the store where she works. We have had a great time! We've been going to the gym, doing some shopping and just kind of hanging out. It's been just wonderful. She's still feeling well and I too am feeling content.

She just got another job at Aqua-Tech, a pool store. Eric's been working there for quite a few years and now Kristen is there. That means we will get our pool chemicals at a discount for a little bit longer. That's great and it's a good place to work. And Kristen will have a full time job until the middle of October. That is a good thing.

Monday night Jed came over to our house for a week. He's actually doing quite well. The mop and pail have been put to good use but as it's only in the kitchen, I don't mind too much (except when I step in it). And for Micah's information, there has been very little mounting going on.

Here's a picture of the dog cousins:

As you can see, Jed is howling as only a coon hound can howl and Sammy is looking rather pathetically at me. When I leave the fenced area of the back yard, they wait for me there, in the corner and look very sad until I return. Jed has taught Sammy how to whine and Sammy has taught Jed how to pace.

Oh well, at least they're getting along.

Meeting another famous person

Here again is another picture of me (and Michele) with a famous person. If you are a fan of Canadian Idol, you will recognize the man on the far left of the photo. That happens to be Rob James, the first Winnipegger to crack the top 10 of Canadian Idol. I have not yet watched this show but I know that he is in the top 10 because I read it in the Winnipeg Free Press today.

Michele and I had the opportunity to be involved with "The Huron Christmas Carol" one year. Our job was to be in the "green room" (or is it the blue room?) where the entertainers could come and relax and have something to eat. It sounds like a much more exciting job than it is. We were quite bored and not too many people stopped by to say hello. But these guys did. They called themselves "McMaster and James" and I really liked the way they sounded.

Rob James has NO idea who I am but was gracious enough to pose for this picture. I think I just might watch Canadian Idol next week to see how he does and to remind my kids that *I* have rubbed shoulders with someone famous.

Much has been happening in my life over the last couple of weeks but I haven't felt like blogging about it. It seems that many of my blogger friends are in a similar situation. The summers here in Winnipeg seem so short that we really try to make the best of them and we'd rather be outside than inside, on our computers. Today, my life in pictures.

The $50.00 hairstyle that Kristen promptly washed out as soon as she got home. At least she was in good enough humour to take this picture!

Kristen and C.J. before her graduation banquet.The Grade 12 graduate with her dad. One of my favourite pics.

From left to right, Ben, Eric, Kristen and Tim.

We also went to the Folk Festival. What a great time we had! You can read all about it on Heather's blog. I couldn't describe it any better than she did. A highlight for me was meeting Fred Eaglesmith. While his music isn't really the kind I tend to listen to, Fred is a friend from way, way back. We went to elementary school together. I was certain he would remember me but I was unprepared for his exuberant reaction when I told him who I was. We had a great (short) time of reconnecting and will get together for coffee when he comes into town next month.

My flower garden is growing and lovely, my vegetable garden looks very, very sad except for the tomatoes. The weeds are doing well too. So far, it's been a close to perfect summer.

Our Visit to the Naturopath

It was probably 2 months ago that Kristen and I went to see a naturopathic doctor. As I have blogged before, we were at the end of our rope with her frequent nausea and dizzy spells. We had been to all kinds of doctors including a neurosurgeon who we will never see again. So for the first time in my life, I went to see a naturopath.

Dr. Schrader was as kind, considerate and compassionate as any professional can be. He listened carefully, asked intelligent questions and I was very impressed by him. We spent close to an hour with him and when we were finished, he suggested that Kristen take a test that we would have to send to the US. The results would likely show us what the problem is and also, what we could do about it.

For the test, Kristen had to provide 3 stool and 2 saliva samples. According to her, taking the stool samples was "gross." I won't go into details about what she had to do but she took care of it like a trooper.

Finally, last week, we could see the doctor for the results. It seems that she had candida (too much yeast in her intestines) as well as a kind of parasite (something he had suggested as a possible cause at our first visit). Apparently there is some disagreement in the medical community about this particular parasite. Some believe that it is harmless, some think that it can cause problems. Regardless, we are going ahead with a regime that includes taking 5 large capsules twice a day. She has not had an attack in the week since she's been on this regime and her energy level has certainly improved.

One other challenge is that she's on a pretty strict diet. No sugar, dairy products (eggs are okay) yeast, mushrooms, dried fruit, bananas or peanuts. She can only have 2 fruits per day but lots of veggies. Considering that she has been surviving on bagels, cream cheese and bananas for months, this diet is quite a huge change. Almost all prepackaged foods have one of the forbidden ingredients so everything needs to be made from scratch.

Suppers won't be a problem but there will be no more bagels, or cereal for breakfast-all the quick, easy foods that teenagers are accustomed to eating. She also LOVES cheese and is already missing it. We did find some bread that is okay for her to eat and she says it's not bad so she'll be able to take sandwiches to work if she needs to.

We are hoping that once the levels in her intestine get back to more normal levels, she'll be able to add more foods to her list, perhaps in smaller quantities than before. I suspect however, that this is something she'll be dealing with for the rest of her life.

We see Dr. Schrader in 2 weeks and hopefully, he'll be able to give us some more good news.

We were at SuperStore yesterday, looking for things she can eat. Wes, Kristen and I must have spent an hour just reading ingredients and trying to figure out what we could buy. I am so grateful to be living in a place where there are options! If this were 20 years ago, it would be much harder to find something for her. Next week I'll buy some soy cheese to see if she likes that.


She's got a pretty good attitude towards all of this now as she was ready to do anything to stop the attacks. Thanks for all your words of encouragement, thoughts, suggestions and prayers.

Okay. Time for a new post. Even I'm getting tired of looking at those 2 lobsters! Problem is, I don't feel I have much to write about. The housework fairies have not yet found my house so I did the housework for most of the morning.

Yesterday I helped Kristen and her friend Kim study for an exam. I was very aware of the fact that this will probably never happen again. Even though the material was hard to understand for all of us and the girls were getting frustrated, I enjoyed myself. It's great to be needed and to hang around with my daughter, even though it's just studying. It reminded me of the many times when she would come home from school and do her homework while I was cooking dinner. I enjoyed those times.

I am keenly aware of the fact that I am entering a new phase in my life. My youngest child will be graduating from Grade 12 in a few weeks and it's been a hard adjustment for me. When my 4 children were young and I was feeling overwhelmed with them, I used to dream of the day when I'd have the house to myself and lots of time to do what I wanted to do. Now I don't even know what I want to do even though I've got the time. I never thought I'd have a mid-life crisis because I've always had interests and involvements outside of my children. I suppose we never really know how we will handle a crisis until it actually happens. Thankfully, I have a huge support network of people who love me and support me and I am confident I'll get through this.

I will leave you with a few photos of my garden. I am simply amazed at how these plants and flowers grow. From this:

And this:To this: And finally, this...

What's For Dinner?

We get to eat lobster once a year. It's too expensive to purchase but once a year, Wes is invited to a dinner put on by one of the sub-trades he works with that includes according to Wes, "The best Caesar Salad you'll ever eat," lobster and dessert. He finds that the hardest part of the dinner is deciding which dessert to choose because he is so full from the other delicious food. (He gets no sympathy from me)

One year, he ate so much lobster that he smelled like a garlicky lobster when he came to bed.

Anyway, there's always way too much lobster so those who would like, may take some home and Wes knows that this makes me very happy.

Tonight, lobster, pasta with sundried tomatoes and if I feel like it, a salad.

Yum, yum.

The Story of 2 Potatoes

It all started innocently enough with 2 potatoes. Ben and Carolyn decided to barbeque some steak and have baked potatoes for their dinner on Sunday night. Ben went out to light the barbeque and shortly thereafter, Carolyn went out to put the potatoes on. Kristen was home too, watching TV and doing her homework upstairs. A peaceful, relaxing Sunday evening.

Suddenly, the doorbell started ringing incessently. Kristen, hoping someone else would answer the door took her time in coming down the stairs to answer it. Sammy was barking like a crazy dog and she chased him into his kennel before she opened the door as Sammy has a tendency to run outside as soon as the door is opened. There was the unmistakable sound of fire engines in the distance but that was not unusual as we live just a few blocks away from a fire station. However, when Kristen opened the door she was not met by a person as she had expected but by a wall of fire.

She ran down the stairs to tell Ben that the fireplace was on fire (she actually meant the barbeque but she was in a state of panic and not making a lot of sense). Ben raced up the stairs and tried to put the fire out with the garden hose but was unsuccessful. Trying to put a fire out with a garden hose is not much more efficient than spitting on it. He then ran into the house to get the fire extinguisher and was able to put some of the fire out. (*Note: Fire extinguishers need to be charged more often than once every 12 years.) Just as he realized that this was more than he could handle, 3 fire engines came screaming into our quiet little bay with a crowd of fire fighters. They had the fire out in no time.

It seems that the hose where the propane goes into the barbeque got pulled away and propane started spewing out onto the floor of the porch. The barbeque is toast, the whole lower part of our deck needs to be replaced, the garbage bin is burned although the plastic garbage cans are still intact and not melted.

We'll make an insurance claim and hopefully get a better looking deck out of the deal. We didn't tell the insurance adjuster that Wes was out that very morning measuring the deck because it needed to be replaced. Wes had also prayed that God would provide the funds for us to replace the deck. Hmmmm.

Incidentally, even with all the fire and smoke, the potatoes are still raw.

We're selling the tent trailer

Yesterday I took a little walk down the proverbial “memory lane.”

We have a tent trailer that we are planning to sell and Wes and I had to clean it out last night. We brought a broom, bucket and cleaning supplies and I was approaching this as a job that had to be done. I have never loved this tent trailer but going through the stuff in there brought me back to our days of camping and I was a little surprised at my feelings of nostalgia because truthfully, I don't really like camping too much. I don't like having to use public washrooms and showers, I don't like the cold, clammy feeling you get when it rains in the night. I don't like the fact that you can never keep things neat and organized (at least I can't) or that laundry needs to be done in a laundromat.

I think that it was the items that I found that brought back the feelings of nostalgia although as you will see, the events were not necessarily enjoyable at the time. I think it was a little like going through all your stuff before you move and knowing that everything you touch at one time, had a purpose and therefore could evoke some strong memories.

I found at least a dozen bungee cords which reminded me of a very unique feature of the trailer. On one of our first trips we discovered that the door popped open when someone weighing more than 75 pounds slept on one of the wings. The first time this happened was at (you guessed it) 2:00 AM. I heard the door pop open and hopped out of bed to close it, thinking that the latch had simply not caught when we first closed it. I had just gotten settled when sure enough, it happened again. It was a sleepless night. Someone would roll over and POP there it would go again.

The next day we had a solution figured out using a web of bungee cords. I just hoped that if anyone had to go out during the night they’d remember the bungee cords, otherwise there could be some trouble. Imagine a slightly uncoordinated 6 foot tall 14 year old stumbling around in a tent trailer, slightly larger than a kitchen table.

When we first bought the trailer, the ad suggested that it could sleep 6. That is a bit of an overstatement as the largest bed was somewhere between the size of a twin and a double. I love Wes and don’t mind sleeping with him but sharing a bed that small results in a fitful sleep. I was always sleep deprived on my camping holidays.

I found several decks of cards and was reminded of the time Michele and Kristen were playing some crazy game. They are aunt and niece and have the very same competitive streak. They were getting more and more animated as the game progressed and our friends were getting a little concerned that it wouldn’t be long before they would come to blows.

The blue tarp reminded me of the last camping trip we took about 2 years ago, at Clear Lake with a group of friends. That was the coldest, rainiest trip in my memory. One night we managed to get a wood stove going in one of the shelters. It was windy and rainy so we got a few tarps and used them as a wind break. We spent a lovely evening in the shelter, huddled around the wood stove. We melted pennies, roasted hotdogs and marshmallows and had a great time.

Going through the drawer (yes, there was one drawer) I found sunscreen, mosquito spray and “After-Bite.” We’ve never had really bad mosquitoes on most of our camping trips but we’d never leave home without our mosquito spray. As I was wiping down the ceiling, I found a number of mosquito carcasses and remembered my nightly ritual of death where I pursued every bug with all my power so that nobody would wake up in the morning with a fresh bite.

We took out our dining tent too. I LOVE dining tents and a few years ago we had to replace ours. The only one we could find that was high enough to accomodate the height of Wes and our sons looked like a circus tent with blue and white stripes. It’s a great dining tent and stands out like nothing else in a campground. I remember spending lots of time in it on rainy days. I also remember eating in it. When we camp, Wes does most of the cooking and we generally eat very well.

I found the green coffee pot that I just love to use and was reminded of how good coffee tastes when you’re camping. And the glass wine glasses. Wine does not taste good unless it’s in a wine glass and we made sure that the glasses were well packed so they wouldn’t break.

There were lots of things about that tent trailer that I didn’t like but somehow, with the passing of a few years, those things don’t seem to matter so much. I’m glad that I had the chance to spend a few hours in it again and gain a new perspective. It’s in the yard at Wes’s office and last night, briefly, VERY briefly I thought, perhaps, I wouldn’t mind spending a night in it again. Sanity prevailed and I knew that I could loose any fond memories I have if I were to spend a night in it again. And I sure didn’t tell Wes.

There are aspects of camping that I like very much. Although my children wouldn't all fit now, I loved the snug as a bug feeling I had when we were all tucked into bed in the trailer. One year we listened to Stuart McLean CDs before falling asleep, first giggling and eventually, laughing out loud at his hilarious stories. I enjoyed camping with friends and family and remember walking from one campsite to another with my coffee cup, always finding someone who would have a pot brewing. I'll miss the campfires too.

These days, we're finding that we really love to stay in Winnipeg during the summer. There are festivals and events happening all summer long, right in our own back yard and if I go away, I'm afraid I'll miss something here. We won't need the tent trailer, that's why we're selling it. So for now, we won't be doing any camping.

I'll just be content to remember the great times we had.

Changes

Ben’s moving out-again.

Ben married Carolyn in the summer of 2004 and like all good, healthy couples, found an apartment of their own. While their marriage was a happy occasion, it was also a time of re-evaluation for me. My children are growing up, becoming independent and are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

Eric moved out just a few short months after Ben. About 6 months after that, Ben moved back to our house-with Carolyn. They live in the basement. It’s not as bad as it sounds and I find that when I tell people that my 25 year old son lives in the basement of my house with his wife, I find myself speaking faster and faster so I can explain that it really isn’t as strange as it sounds. “You see, we have an apartment in our basement
itsaselfcontainedsuitewithitsownkitchenandbathroomand
theydoalltheirowncookinganditsnotreallyasstrange
asitsoundsandIkeepmynoseoutoftheirbusiness…”

Well, I will no longer have to explain myself. Ben and Carolyn are moving out again, into their own house. It’s an exciting time and I’m really happy for them but I’m going to have to deal with Ben moving out again and the fact that my children are growing up and they don’t need me the way they used to. Sigh.

The good news is that we already have someone to rent the apartment in the basement. The fact that we have such a low vacancy rate in Winnipeg is good for us although not good for those people who are looking to rent.

So, my life changes once again. Change is good. It keeps me on my toes. I'm looking forward to getting to know Briane, our new tenant (and her dog!).

Kristen's Visit to the Doctor

I just got back from a neurologist’s office with Kristen today. I don’t remember his name but let’s just call him Dr. A.R.Rogant. Or maybe Dr. M.Y. Shitdoesnotstink. Needless to say, he didn’t help us at all.

We got there at 8:55, for our 9:00 appointment. He had us wait for 20 minutes although there was nobody else in the office. I know this because we had to leave our shoes at the door so that we wouldn’t mess up his new carpet and our shoes were the only ones in sight. So, there we sat for twenty minutes, both of us barefoot, patiently waiting for the good doctor to call us when he was ready.

When we entered his hallowed personal corner office, he looked at me and said, “This is Kristen?” I smiled and answered yes. He then asked Kristen to explain why she was there and as she is in the habit of doing, suggested that I give the history. Dr. A. R. Rogant believes that because it is Kristen’s problem she should be the one talking and he told us so. We decided to ignore his wise counsel and I proceeded to give a brief history of what has been going on for the last 3 years. He then asked Kristen a number of questions and she answered them all for him as best she could. We assume she passed the blood pressure test although Dr. A.R. didn’t say anything about it. I also assumed that she passed the tests for dizziness because she did them successfully and didn’t fall over once. Her reflexes are excellent. (He didn’t say that but I could tell) He typed something into his computer while Kristen sat with the blood pressure cuff on her arm and I sat on my chair wondering if I could sit on my feet because they were getting cold.

He asked her if she drinks coffee or coke (No). He asked if she liked school and how her grades were (Good and honour roll). Medications? No. Birth control? No. He asked if she ever tried taking Advil when the episodes happen and she told him that she had tried it but it didn’t help. The fact is, Kristen is in good general health, does well at school and to look at her, you wouldn’t think there was anything wrong.

It was then that the good Doctor looked at her and said something like, “So this really is a minor inconvenience, isn’t it.” There was a moment of dead silence. I looked at Kristen and the shock in her eyes, I'm sure, mirrored mine.

Being the tolerant, friendly Canadians that we are, we assured him calmly that this was NOT a minor inconvenience and that this was affecting her life (and mine) in a pretty negative way. I told him that she had missed a lot of school and in Grade 9 missed a number of her exams and I knew she couldn’t do that in Grade 12. I wanted to yell at him: “THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM! A VERY BIG PROBLEM. WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE WASTING MY VALUABLE TIME IN THE OFFICE OF A SHITHEAD LIKE YOU!” But, I controlled myself.

Dr. M.Y. Shitdoesnotstink then suggested that it could be a type of migraine. That was the most intelligent thing he said during the entire appointment. He told her to avoid caffeine and take a couple of Advil. I was thinking of suggesting that perhaps he needed to see an ear specialist to see if his hearing was good because she already told him that SHE DOESN’T CONSUME CAFFEINE AND ADVIL DOESN’T WORK! HOW MANY YEARS DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TO BECOME A NEUROLOGIST WHO PRESCRIBES ADVIL TO A DESPERATE TEEN?

Thankfully he didn’t try to shake my hand when we left-probably thought that touching me was beneath him. Besides, he gave me the heeby geebies and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

As soon as we got out of the door, Kristen announced in no uncertain terms that she would never, ever see him again and I concurred. NOT IF HE WAS THE LAST DOCTOR ON EARTH!

We are none the worse for wear after this episode and we are grateful that other doctors and specialists we have seen are very different. As a matter of fact, we saw a naturopathic doctor a couple of weeks ago and he was wonderful! I’ll write more about that another time, when we get the results of a test he recommended.

The health care system here in Manitoba has flaws, there is no doubt about that. But I have found in almost all cases, the people we have dealt with are friendly and compassionate. Even my own doctor, who seems rushed most of the time, is a kind woman. Unfortunately, it is people like Dr. A.R.Rogant who give many of the health care professionals a bad name. I’m glad I won’t have to deal with him ever again.