The Second Time Ben Kept Me Up All Night

In my previous post, I wrote that Ben has kept me up all night long only twice in my life. The first time was the day of his birth-my water broke around midnight and he was born sometime between 6 and 8 in the morning.

The second time he kept me up all night was when he was 18 years old. At this time Ben had been going out with friends and staying out till midnight or so for at least a year. Most of the time, I'd stay awake until I heard him come home but sometimes, I'd fall asleep before that. Generally, I'd wake up at some point in the night and if I hadn't heard him, I'd just go downstairs and see if his shoes were by the back door. It was a good system. I didn't have to go into his room and wake him up if he was asleep and I could go back to sleep knowing he was safely in bed.

One particular night I had fallen asleep early and sure enough, it was around 1:00 AM when I woke up and hadn't heard him come home. I went downstairs to look for his shoes but they weren't there. I was a little annoyed because it was past his curfew. I was wide awake by this time and decided to stay in the living room and wait for his arrival. I made a cup of tea and began reading my book but by 2:00 I could no longer concentrate. I began to worry. Then, I began to pace. By 3:00 AM I was trying to tell myself that if something happened, the police would have informed me by now. At 4:00 AM I considered calling all the emergency wards in the local hospitals. I also considered calling his friends but was concerned that if he wasn't with them, I would have awakened them needlesly. And then they would worry (probably not but I was not thinking too coherently). Finally, at 5:00 AM I fell into a fitful sleep.

It was a Saturday night and I had to be up early to get to church on time. I was usually involved with the service so I'd often leave early and Wes would come later with the kids. I was pretty tired and stressed so the music practise that I led didn't go too well. When we finished, people started coming in as they usually do and at one point, Wes came in with our children, including Ben. To my sleep deprived eyes, it looked like Ben was swaggering. Because we were in church and there would have been witnesses, I decided not to kill him. Instead, I hissed, "Where were you last night?"

He looked at me, puzzled and replied calmly, "In my bed."
I hissed again, "What time did you come home?"
"I don't know, around 12:30 I guess."
Less hissy, but still angry I asked him, "Where were your shoes?"
He was very puzzled by now, wondering what his shoes had to do with this conversation.

"I don't know. I wore my boots."