My “baby” turns 17 today. Yup. Halloween day. She was born around 5:00 PM, right around the time that my poor, stressed out mom was dressing up 3 little boys in their respective costumes and attempting to respond to the calls of “Halloween apples!” by the front door. She managed, I managed and she was even able to come to the hospital and visit me after the evenings festivities were over.
This post is dedicated to Kristen Elise Postma, my one and only, my beloved daughter.
When I was pregnant with my fourth child people would often ask me if I was hoping for a girl. I always said no, that I would be happy with either sex. And that was true. But when you were born I realized that having a little girl was really a bonus for me. I truly would have been happy with a boy but it has been a real treat having another “girl” in the house.
Kristen, I have always admired your discipline and perseverance. You seldom procrastinate. You are one of the few people I know (your dad’s another one) who will start on a project when it is assigned and not wait until the day before it is due. I think that is one of the reasons that you have always been on the honour roll at school.
Perhaps because you were the youngest or perhaps because you were the only girl, you always felt that it was important for you to let your brothers know that you could not be “pushed around.” You expressed yourself clearly and strongly and they responded to that.
You have always had an independent nature. You could not be easily convinced to do something that you didn’t want to do. While that caused (and at times still causes) some difficulties between you and I, I know that this is a wonderful trait for you to have. You will decide to do something because you want to do it and not because someone else says you should. Do you remember the time when Tim cut his finger and needed stitches? One of the ways you asserted your independence was by not wanting to wear socks. Well, when you heard that you had to join your dad to take Tim to the hospital, I was shocked as to how quickly you could find a pair of socks and put them on. You were ready to go in record time.
You always loved to do crafts. The messier, the better. Finger paints, papier-mâché. Remember the time Tim had a project due on a Monday and (unlike you) didn’t start it until the day before? The project was a relief map including rivers, a mountain and various other geographical features. This is something that we knew he could never finish on his own so you got in there and with great enthusiasm, helped him with his project. He got an excellent grade on it too, thanks in a large part to you.
Another thing I admire about you is your determination. When you decide you want to do something, you will do it until you are satisfied with the outcome. Remember that you wanted to learn how to play the song from the Titanic, “My Heart Will Go On and On?” I tried to convince you that there was no way you could learn it but you kept asking me and asking me until I finally began to teach it to you. I was sure that you’d get bored before too long and give up. Well, I taught it to you one measure at a time and sure enough, you learned how to play the whole song. I was, and still am amazed that you learned it and that you played it so well!
It has been such a pleasure to watch you grow up. You have made many wise choices over the years and some not so wise choices. But you have learned from your mistakes and that takes real wisdom and maturity. You have taught me much about myself and while that has been hard for me, it has been good too. You have reminded me that I can trust you, that you can make good and wise decisions. You have graciously forgiven me when I have not treated you as I should have. You have been patient with me when I have had trouble letting go.
These 17 years have been quite a ride for us, wouldn’t you say? I’m looking forward to this year, your eighteenth. It will be a big year. You’ll probably get your licence, experience you first kiss (oh no, you’ve probably already had that) the grad retreat and then graduation-gown, hair, nails, makeup… You’ll need to decide what you’re going to do next year too. You’ll be experiencing lots of big changes.
Just remember, your dad and I will always be here for you. We might not always agree with what you do or the decisions you make, but we’ll always stand by you and stand up for you. We will have some hard times. But my love for you will stand the test of time-of that I’m certain. We’ve weathered storms in the past and we will survive whatever comes our way. You are my daughter and I love you.
Happy Birthday!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Sweetest Words
The sweetest, kindest words that can be spoken to me on a Saturday morning when I have once again, left the grocery shopping to the weekend.
"Would you like help out with your bags ma'am?"
Sigh.
"Would you like help out with your bags ma'am?"
Sigh.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Roto Rooter
We recently renovated a bathroom here at our house. Brand new bathtub & shower, sink and toilet. It looks great and most of it works well except for the bathtub drain. It would literally take hours for the water to drain and of course, the tub, in my brand new bathroom always looked dirty.
Jeff came and had a look at it but was unsuccessful in unplugging it so he suggested I call the office and get Tim to come as he has more experience. Tim came at 8:00 this morning so I was up, dressed and quite cheerful when I let him in.
Well, Jeff was right. Tim was able to clear the drain and now it's working like a charm (to borrow a phrase from my dad). I was thrilled.
The cost? A "mere" $161.25. Ouch.
Jeff came and had a look at it but was unsuccessful in unplugging it so he suggested I call the office and get Tim to come as he has more experience. Tim came at 8:00 this morning so I was up, dressed and quite cheerful when I let him in.
Well, Jeff was right. Tim was able to clear the drain and now it's working like a charm (to borrow a phrase from my dad). I was thrilled.
The cost? A "mere" $161.25. Ouch.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
A New Post
Finally, a new post. I love it when I click on someone's blog and they have a new post. If there has been nothing for a few days, I wonder what's wrong. Why aren't you blogging? Are you too busy? Stressed? Sick? Tired? Sick and tired? In the hospital having your baby?
In my very first post I promised that I would not try to be too profound, otherwise I might not write anything. So today, I don't really have anything to write about but I wanted keep all my blogger friends happy by posting something.
Wes and I spent a couple of peaceful, serene days in Whiteshell Provincial Park. We Manitobans share this park with our neighbours to the east, Ontario. It is located in the Canadian Sheild-a beautiful area of Canada with rocks, trees and plenty of water.
It is a gorgeous part of Canada. We hiked the "Pine Point Rapids Trail," coming upon the rapids and 2 waterfalls. At one point we stopped our walking and held our breath to listen. Not a sound. Even the birds and squirrels were quiet. It has been a long time since I have heard that kind of quiet.
I was disappointed that we forgot the camera although I don't think that photos could really do justice to the beauty, the silence and the smells. We came upon a porcupine, right in the middle of the trail who puffed himself up, trying to make himself look big and scary. He only moved as we approached him so we followed him along the trail for a couple of metres before he waddled into the bush, still trying to look tough.
I am an urban girl. I grew up "in town" and in my adult years have lived in the city. I love the city, the noise and the excitement. I love the symphony and ballet, movies, art galleries and restaurants. One of these days I will go to the opera if someone will join me.
But there is something about the peace and quiet of nature that speaks to me too. Something that grounds me. Something that slows me down and causes me to stop and listen. Or slow down so that a porcupine can move along at his own pace.
We plan to go back during the Christmas break this year with our children and extended family. Things might not be as quiet in the lodge but we'll have a great time. I know it.
In my very first post I promised that I would not try to be too profound, otherwise I might not write anything. So today, I don't really have anything to write about but I wanted keep all my blogger friends happy by posting something.
Wes and I spent a couple of peaceful, serene days in Whiteshell Provincial Park. We Manitobans share this park with our neighbours to the east, Ontario. It is located in the Canadian Sheild-a beautiful area of Canada with rocks, trees and plenty of water.
It is a gorgeous part of Canada. We hiked the "Pine Point Rapids Trail," coming upon the rapids and 2 waterfalls. At one point we stopped our walking and held our breath to listen. Not a sound. Even the birds and squirrels were quiet. It has been a long time since I have heard that kind of quiet.
I was disappointed that we forgot the camera although I don't think that photos could really do justice to the beauty, the silence and the smells. We came upon a porcupine, right in the middle of the trail who puffed himself up, trying to make himself look big and scary. He only moved as we approached him so we followed him along the trail for a couple of metres before he waddled into the bush, still trying to look tough.
I am an urban girl. I grew up "in town" and in my adult years have lived in the city. I love the city, the noise and the excitement. I love the symphony and ballet, movies, art galleries and restaurants. One of these days I will go to the opera if someone will join me.
But there is something about the peace and quiet of nature that speaks to me too. Something that grounds me. Something that slows me down and causes me to stop and listen. Or slow down so that a porcupine can move along at his own pace.
We plan to go back during the Christmas break this year with our children and extended family. Things might not be as quiet in the lodge but we'll have a great time. I know it.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Used Tupperware & Useless Kitchen Gadgets
I read on Heather’s blog something about a useless kitchen gadget that she had purchased which is now destined for the “giveaway” box. That reminded me of a party idea that Michele came up with which I helped her to organize. Those were the days when we had had enough of Tupperware and other kinds of home parties and wanted to do something unique and different. So we organized a Used Tupperware & Useless Kitchen Gadget party.
We made up invitations and requested everyone to go through their cupboards and take along their most useless kitchen gadgets. You know the miracle tools I mean. The ones that you can purchase for only 3 payments of $19.99 each or the one that you can only get at the Home Show or the one that is available for a limited time. And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been sucked in at one time or another.
We had an exchange (I confess, I took the Tupperware hamburger patty maker home. It was better than the guillotine-like blade that I contributed.),games and of course, great snacks. The person who brought a gadget that stymied all of us would win a prize-another UKG to take home. It was a fun evening and a great way to get rid of some of the stuff that seems to collect in our cupboards.
What was great about this party is that it was free and we were able to laugh at some of the silly purchases we had made as well as get rid of some of the unique gifts we had received over the years.
Alright now. Tell me what kind of UT&UKG you have in your kitchen.
We made up invitations and requested everyone to go through their cupboards and take along their most useless kitchen gadgets. You know the miracle tools I mean. The ones that you can purchase for only 3 payments of $19.99 each or the one that you can only get at the Home Show or the one that is available for a limited time. And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been sucked in at one time or another.
We had an exchange (I confess, I took the Tupperware hamburger patty maker home. It was better than the guillotine-like blade that I contributed.),games and of course, great snacks. The person who brought a gadget that stymied all of us would win a prize-another UKG to take home. It was a fun evening and a great way to get rid of some of the stuff that seems to collect in our cupboards.
What was great about this party is that it was free and we were able to laugh at some of the silly purchases we had made as well as get rid of some of the unique gifts we had received over the years.
Alright now. Tell me what kind of UT&UKG you have in your kitchen.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Quilts
I have made 4 quilts in my life. The first one was in a high school Home Ec class. I don’t remember much about it except that it had about 6 huge strawberry appliqués. That’s probably why I’ve forgotten.
The second one was made for Eric in a “Quilt in a Day” class that I took with Yvonne. Thankfully, she finished hers before the day was over and helped me to complete mine. It is a log cabin design, with beautiful, warm autumn colours and it has been on his bed for about 10 years. I am very proud of this one and he likes it too.
About eight years ago I started my third quilt, for Kristen. I have not yet gotten around to finishing it yet. It is mostly pinks and greens in a nine-patch pattern, and would have really looked good in her room a few years ago. Today her room is orange and green. Sigh. I DO intend to finish it this winter.
The fourth quilt I made is not really a quilt but more like a wall-hanging. As far as quilts go, it will never win any contests. A couple of years ago Michele, Heather and I were part of a Service Planning team at our church. We were doing a series on the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-11) and we wanted to find a visual way of reinforcing some of the truths of this passage. We came up with what I think was a great idea. We would give everyone at church a small square of fabric to decorate and then we would assemble all of these squares into a larger wall hanging.
This was one fun project! The children were thrilled and excited about drawing something on fabric and many of them created several squares. Some of the women required a bit of coaxing but eventually did at least one. And the men, well, we had to chase some of them down and insist that they create something. But create they did and we were left with dozens of interesting pictures and drawings.
The three of us spent a good day in Heather’s basement piecing and sewing. We went through Heather’s stash and found fabric that we could use to hold it all together. Heather’s mom was there and besides watching Maddie (who was not yet a year old) and Julie, made us a wonderful lunch of farmer sausages and perogies.
As far as wall hangings/quilts go, this one will never win an award. If I sold it at a garage sale, you’d likely pass it by. But, I am having trouble giving this one up. I have de-cluttered at home and a few weeks ago we did a very successful culling at the church. I knew this piece had to go but unlike most of the other stuff, I could not bring myself to throw it into the bin. I think I know why though. It’s the memories and what this piece represents that makes it so hard for me to part with it. I still see in my mind’s eye men, women, teens and children hunched over a tiny squares of fabric creating something unique. I remember when we first displayed it and seeing all of the “blessed” verses. I remember hanging out at Heathers and eating my first Mennonite lunch made by a real Mennonite mom. I remember talking about life, love and loss. Most of all, I remember the pride I felt being part of a team that had such a good idea.
It’s been in my car for the last 2 weeks. We took a picture of it yesterday and I hoped that I would be able to dispose of it after that but alas, it is now folded up on my dining room table and I think I’ll bring it upstairs and put it into my closet later. Maybe one day I’ll be able to give it up but not yet. Maybe we'll need to pass it around until we're all sick of it. I'll take it for the next few months, Michele can have it after me and then it'll be Heather's turn.
The second one was made for Eric in a “Quilt in a Day” class that I took with Yvonne. Thankfully, she finished hers before the day was over and helped me to complete mine. It is a log cabin design, with beautiful, warm autumn colours and it has been on his bed for about 10 years. I am very proud of this one and he likes it too.
About eight years ago I started my third quilt, for Kristen. I have not yet gotten around to finishing it yet. It is mostly pinks and greens in a nine-patch pattern, and would have really looked good in her room a few years ago. Today her room is orange and green. Sigh. I DO intend to finish it this winter.
The fourth quilt I made is not really a quilt but more like a wall-hanging. As far as quilts go, it will never win any contests. A couple of years ago Michele, Heather and I were part of a Service Planning team at our church. We were doing a series on the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-11) and we wanted to find a visual way of reinforcing some of the truths of this passage. We came up with what I think was a great idea. We would give everyone at church a small square of fabric to decorate and then we would assemble all of these squares into a larger wall hanging.
This was one fun project! The children were thrilled and excited about drawing something on fabric and many of them created several squares. Some of the women required a bit of coaxing but eventually did at least one. And the men, well, we had to chase some of them down and insist that they create something. But create they did and we were left with dozens of interesting pictures and drawings.
The three of us spent a good day in Heather’s basement piecing and sewing. We went through Heather’s stash and found fabric that we could use to hold it all together. Heather’s mom was there and besides watching Maddie (who was not yet a year old) and Julie, made us a wonderful lunch of farmer sausages and perogies.
As far as wall hangings/quilts go, this one will never win an award. If I sold it at a garage sale, you’d likely pass it by. But, I am having trouble giving this one up. I have de-cluttered at home and a few weeks ago we did a very successful culling at the church. I knew this piece had to go but unlike most of the other stuff, I could not bring myself to throw it into the bin. I think I know why though. It’s the memories and what this piece represents that makes it so hard for me to part with it. I still see in my mind’s eye men, women, teens and children hunched over a tiny squares of fabric creating something unique. I remember when we first displayed it and seeing all of the “blessed” verses. I remember hanging out at Heathers and eating my first Mennonite lunch made by a real Mennonite mom. I remember talking about life, love and loss. Most of all, I remember the pride I felt being part of a team that had such a good idea.
It’s been in my car for the last 2 weeks. We took a picture of it yesterday and I hoped that I would be able to dispose of it after that but alas, it is now folded up on my dining room table and I think I’ll bring it upstairs and put it into my closet later. Maybe one day I’ll be able to give it up but not yet. Maybe we'll need to pass it around until we're all sick of it. I'll take it for the next few months, Michele can have it after me and then it'll be Heather's turn.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Thanks
Michele wrote a list of 100 things she's thankful for and I thought I'd try to do the same in honour of Thanksgiving2005.
- Warm days
- Blue prairie sky
- A cozy blanket
- Hot water
- Digital camera
- Friends
- Kettle chips
- My sister's home in the country
- My sisters
- A dependable car
- Baskets for my stuff
- The squeegie I use to wash the windows
- My gas stove
- The back porch
- The screens on the back porch
- My garden
- My house
- Hardwood floors
- The turret room
- Candles
- My red shoes
- Ann Lamott
- Long johns (the moisture wicking kind)
- Warm feet
- A snowblower that is too heavy for me to handle ;)
- Blogging
- Praying
- God
- The Holy Spirit
- Jesus
- Church
- Sunday mornings
- Babies
- Pregnant women
- Good wine
- Aged gouda
- My extended family in Holland
- Pumpkins
- Classical Music
- Doors that don't squeak
- Men who don't mind emptying mouse traps
- Children who do their own laundry
- Winnipeg
- Manitoba
- Canada
- Wes
- Each of my children
- My daughter-in-law
- My Winnipeg family-sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews
- Front loading washing machine
- The colours of autumn
- My husband's boss
- A steady, solid income
- Good health
- Nice smelling hair products
- Facial tissues with lotion
- High index lenses
- My laptop
- For helping Kristen write an essay today
- Good knives
- Kitchen Aid mixer
- Hand blender
- Wooden spoons
- Cast iron frying pan
- Fresh clean water at the turn of a tap
- For being able to sing harmony with Tim
- Gala apples
- My big, beautiful house
- The basement apartment
- Eric's mandolin and guitar playing
- Winnipeg weather-no earthquakes, mud slides, hurrianes or tsunamis
- That I have no problem running up and down the stairs
- Ibuprophen
- Gravol
- The spare bedroom
- Tablecloths
- 220 count percale bedsheets
- The newspaper
- Remembrance Day
- Most of my children's teachers
- Christmas holidays
- Dining chairs that make you want to sit and stay for a while
- Chai
- Slippers
- That I am still learning new things
- Clean bed sheets dried outside
- Potlucks
- Thanksgiving dinner
- My piano
- Laughter
- Fresh bread
- Aveno body lotion
- Water bottles
- My neighbours-the weird ones who don't mind if we use their driveway sometimes
- Generous people
- A husband who is learning Spanish
- Children who get up in the morning on their own
- People who take responsibility for their actions
- Curry paste
- Good hand lotion
There you have it folks. One hundred things I'm thankful for. Anyone else?
Friday, October 07, 2005
One of those Great Days
Wow. What a wonderful day.
1. Went to Stonewall with Yvonne and a friend of hers to pick out fabrics for the quilt that we are going to make. I can't wait to get started.
2. Went to Michele's for a great lunch. Interesting people, great food and wine. It doesn't get much better than that.
3. Had my own family over for supper tonight. Ben and Carolyn, Eric and Tim and Wes and I of course (Kristen's playing volleyball in Edmonton). Once again great food (if I might say so myself) great company and another glass of wine.
Ahhhhhh. I will have sweet dreams tonight.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Happy Birthday Ben!
Today, I had the distinct pleasure of having lunch with my oldest son. As you have probably already figured out from the title of this post, today is his birthday.
I'd like to take a page out of Heather's blog and dedicate this post to my oldest son.
It was 24 years ago today that Wes and I first became parents and while many of my memories have disappeared from my brain, I think the most precious one was of your first cry. I can still hear it. First, the sound of suction and then the unquestionable wail from a healthy 7 lb. 12 oz. baby.
You have always been someone of whom I could be proud. I have always admired your sense of responsibility and your drive. It's not a drivenness that motivates you, you just know how to get a job done. Even when you were very little, when it was time to clean up and put your toys away, you did it willingly and without complaining.
Remember that time when you single handedly stacked nearly a cord of wood? Or working for almost a whole summer when we were doing construction on our house. And then your summers working construction. Being the son of the boss, you had to prove yourself and prove yourself you did. Always willing to do the hard jobs without complaining. Every time I see Velmir your former supervisor, he asks me how you're doing and he always tells me, "You know, that Benny, he's a good worker."
You have always had a sense of right and wrong and have been always willing to say you're sorry when you did something wrong.
I have always admired your integrity and discipline and your willingness to stand up for your principles. I was so proud of you the time when you were in high school and someone called you to ask if you might be interested in her friend. You replied, "I decided that I'm not dating in high school." I think that there were plenty of girls who would have loved to date you but you decided that your high school experience would not include a girlfriend. (Carolyn tells me that you were pretty "hot" in high school.)
I loved watching you play volleyball. You were very good and it was fun to see you improve so much over the years to captain of your team in Grade 12 and then in college. (Mom's brag story: Ben was ranked the #4 volleyball player in the province in his final year of high school.)
I was also impressed with how you handle that awful sprained ankle in the last month of your high school volleyball career. It was terrible. It was so hard but you didn't let it ruin you.
I have also been amazed as to how much you could eat during your teen years. Remember that night, it must have been around 11:00 PM when you came home with 2 Super Sized McDonald's meals? I asked you who had come home with you and you gave me a quizzical look and said "No one." I wondered who the second meal was for and your reply was simple, "Two can dine for 6.99." You have always appreciated a good bargain.
And now, you're married. It has been a pleasure to see you as a husband. I see you treating Carolyn with love and respect and I am so glad to see you so happy. Remember that I used to tease you that I thought that we should allow for arranged marriages in Canada? I knew you better than most people and I thought I knew what kind of wife would be good for you. Well, I am so happy and proud that you chose Carolyn. I could not have chosen better for you. She is a wonderful woman and I am proud to call her my daughter-in-law.
It has been good for your dad and I to have you living in our basement. (Note to blogger friends who don't know: We have a completely self-contained apartment in our basement. Ben and Carolyn live there, on their own and they pay the same rent as previous tenants. This is NOT a weird situation where my son is so attached to his parents that he still needs to live "at home.")
It's good to see you and Carolyn and to wish you a good day. I will miss it when you move to your own place one day.
So in closing this post I just want to tell you that I love you and I am so proud of you. I am excited to see what God has in store for you and Carolyn. (no pressure but, you've been married over a year. Are you thinking of babies?)
I wish you a wonderful year, full of hope and joy. Blessings to you.
Love,
Mom
(I've got some great pictures I'd LIKE to post but it's not working. THIS DRIVES ME MAD!!! Anyone else have the same problem or is it just me? Aaaaugh!)
I'd like to take a page out of Heather's blog and dedicate this post to my oldest son.
It was 24 years ago today that Wes and I first became parents and while many of my memories have disappeared from my brain, I think the most precious one was of your first cry. I can still hear it. First, the sound of suction and then the unquestionable wail from a healthy 7 lb. 12 oz. baby.
You have always been someone of whom I could be proud. I have always admired your sense of responsibility and your drive. It's not a drivenness that motivates you, you just know how to get a job done. Even when you were very little, when it was time to clean up and put your toys away, you did it willingly and without complaining.
Remember that time when you single handedly stacked nearly a cord of wood? Or working for almost a whole summer when we were doing construction on our house. And then your summers working construction. Being the son of the boss, you had to prove yourself and prove yourself you did. Always willing to do the hard jobs without complaining. Every time I see Velmir your former supervisor, he asks me how you're doing and he always tells me, "You know, that Benny, he's a good worker."
You have always had a sense of right and wrong and have been always willing to say you're sorry when you did something wrong.
I have always admired your integrity and discipline and your willingness to stand up for your principles. I was so proud of you the time when you were in high school and someone called you to ask if you might be interested in her friend. You replied, "I decided that I'm not dating in high school." I think that there were plenty of girls who would have loved to date you but you decided that your high school experience would not include a girlfriend. (Carolyn tells me that you were pretty "hot" in high school.)
I loved watching you play volleyball. You were very good and it was fun to see you improve so much over the years to captain of your team in Grade 12 and then in college. (Mom's brag story: Ben was ranked the #4 volleyball player in the province in his final year of high school.)
I was also impressed with how you handle that awful sprained ankle in the last month of your high school volleyball career. It was terrible. It was so hard but you didn't let it ruin you.
I have also been amazed as to how much you could eat during your teen years. Remember that night, it must have been around 11:00 PM when you came home with 2 Super Sized McDonald's meals? I asked you who had come home with you and you gave me a quizzical look and said "No one." I wondered who the second meal was for and your reply was simple, "Two can dine for 6.99." You have always appreciated a good bargain.
And now, you're married. It has been a pleasure to see you as a husband. I see you treating Carolyn with love and respect and I am so glad to see you so happy. Remember that I used to tease you that I thought that we should allow for arranged marriages in Canada? I knew you better than most people and I thought I knew what kind of wife would be good for you. Well, I am so happy and proud that you chose Carolyn. I could not have chosen better for you. She is a wonderful woman and I am proud to call her my daughter-in-law.
It has been good for your dad and I to have you living in our basement. (Note to blogger friends who don't know: We have a completely self-contained apartment in our basement. Ben and Carolyn live there, on their own and they pay the same rent as previous tenants. This is NOT a weird situation where my son is so attached to his parents that he still needs to live "at home.")
It's good to see you and Carolyn and to wish you a good day. I will miss it when you move to your own place one day.
So in closing this post I just want to tell you that I love you and I am so proud of you. I am excited to see what God has in store for you and Carolyn. (no pressure but, you've been married over a year. Are you thinking of babies?)
I wish you a wonderful year, full of hope and joy. Blessings to you.
Love,
Mom
(I've got some great pictures I'd LIKE to post but it's not working. THIS DRIVES ME MAD!!! Anyone else have the same problem or is it just me? Aaaaugh!)
Introducing...Alvaro
We have an international student living with us this year. His name is Alvaro and he is from Mexico. Alvaro has trouble getting up in the mornings and I am finding this a little difficult. Although my own children don’t LIKE getting up in the morning, they still do because they realize that it is one of those non-negotiable things. When they were young, a single “Good morning, time to get up” was enough and they all made it to the school bus on time. Once they reached high school, they were able to get up on their own with an alarm clock. I’m very grateful for that because I’ve talked to parents who are tearing their hair out trying to find a way to make mornings easier.
As I get to know Alvaro, I realize that truancy and poor grades were part of his experience back home. He has two older brothers and he tells me that his family has a reputation at the school. He told me that none of his teachers like him because “he is always the one in the class to make jokes.” I used to teach junior high. I’ve had those kinds of students. And I have sympathy for his teachers.
Alvaro is not a typical international student. Most international students who come here are high achievers and hard workers. I think that Alvaro’s parents sent him here hoping that he would grow up, mature and develop his character.
Other than his difficulty with mornings, Alvaro has not given us a hard time yet. He is respectful and willing to help. He tells me where he is going and when he will be home. Tim told me that Alvaro has told him that in Mexico it was not uncommon for him to drink to excess on a regular basis (he just turned 15 in July) and he was a heavy smoker. He quit smoking when he came here and apparently his father told him that if he had as much as one drink, his father would kill him. That has been a very good incentive for Alvaro to stay away from the smokes and booze.
In the 6 weeks that he has been with us, he has missed 2 days (stomach ache), and as far as I am aware, has been late twice. I asked him how I could help him get up in the mornings and we agreed that I would knock on his door at 7:30. Yesterday, I did so and he still wasn’t downstairs by 8:15. I went up the stairs again (his room is on the 3rd story of this house) and he told me that he thought it was too cold so he would wait until his next class to get to school because he was late already.
WHAT? He thought he’d sleep in because it was TOO COLD? He thought he’d SLEEP IN because it was too cold? HE THOUGHT he’d sleep in because it was too cold? I was flabbergasted!
I calmly told him that he needed to get up and go directly to school, which he did willingly. I also calmly told him that those of us living in northern climates don’t let a bit of snow and wind stop us. We’d spend the entire winter at home if that were the case. And I just couldn’t resist telling him that walking to school in miserable weather could be seen as a character building experience and that it would contribute to his personal growth. I couldn’t help saying it. I just HAD to.
He walked out the door with Tim’s winter coat and gloves. I offered the umbrella but he politely refused it. It might be “cool” to sleep in because of the cold and rain but it is NOT “cool” to carry an umbrella.
When he came home last night, his attitude seemed pretty positive. He said that he went outside during his spare just to experience the rain, snow and wind. I think the little chat he had with the attendance counsellor at school helped him get up this morning and get to school on time.
We’ll have to see if this year will really change Alvaro. It may be a bit of a challenge for us but I’m confident that the threat of the school to “send him back” will be enough for him to follow the rules.
I wouldn’t want to be sent back home and deal with MY father if I were him.
As I get to know Alvaro, I realize that truancy and poor grades were part of his experience back home. He has two older brothers and he tells me that his family has a reputation at the school. He told me that none of his teachers like him because “he is always the one in the class to make jokes.” I used to teach junior high. I’ve had those kinds of students. And I have sympathy for his teachers.
Alvaro is not a typical international student. Most international students who come here are high achievers and hard workers. I think that Alvaro’s parents sent him here hoping that he would grow up, mature and develop his character.
Other than his difficulty with mornings, Alvaro has not given us a hard time yet. He is respectful and willing to help. He tells me where he is going and when he will be home. Tim told me that Alvaro has told him that in Mexico it was not uncommon for him to drink to excess on a regular basis (he just turned 15 in July) and he was a heavy smoker. He quit smoking when he came here and apparently his father told him that if he had as much as one drink, his father would kill him. That has been a very good incentive for Alvaro to stay away from the smokes and booze.
In the 6 weeks that he has been with us, he has missed 2 days (stomach ache), and as far as I am aware, has been late twice. I asked him how I could help him get up in the mornings and we agreed that I would knock on his door at 7:30. Yesterday, I did so and he still wasn’t downstairs by 8:15. I went up the stairs again (his room is on the 3rd story of this house) and he told me that he thought it was too cold so he would wait until his next class to get to school because he was late already.
WHAT? He thought he’d sleep in because it was TOO COLD? He thought he’d SLEEP IN because it was too cold? HE THOUGHT he’d sleep in because it was too cold? I was flabbergasted!
I calmly told him that he needed to get up and go directly to school, which he did willingly. I also calmly told him that those of us living in northern climates don’t let a bit of snow and wind stop us. We’d spend the entire winter at home if that were the case. And I just couldn’t resist telling him that walking to school in miserable weather could be seen as a character building experience and that it would contribute to his personal growth. I couldn’t help saying it. I just HAD to.
He walked out the door with Tim’s winter coat and gloves. I offered the umbrella but he politely refused it. It might be “cool” to sleep in because of the cold and rain but it is NOT “cool” to carry an umbrella.
When he came home last night, his attitude seemed pretty positive. He said that he went outside during his spare just to experience the rain, snow and wind. I think the little chat he had with the attendance counsellor at school helped him get up this morning and get to school on time.
We’ll have to see if this year will really change Alvaro. It may be a bit of a challenge for us but I’m confident that the threat of the school to “send him back” will be enough for him to follow the rules.
I wouldn’t want to be sent back home and deal with MY father if I were him.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Winter is Coming!
Today, I went out to buy myself a pair of gloves. Usually I wait too long and end up with very little selection. I finally decided that it might be a good idea to purchase my gloves early so that I'll be ready when I need them.
Today, I needed them.
Two days ago, it was 25 outside and gorgeous. The trees are changing colour and the gorgeous blue of the prairie sky always takes my breath away. I love the fall, and I appreciate every day that is still mild. I actually enjoy the winters too and my only complaint is that they last too long. By March, I'm ready to see grass and dirt and in early April I want to see the crocuses, tulips and daffodils.
We're supposed to get a blast of winter tonight-a Colorado low. This system usually brings lots of moisture and it was actually responsible for all the snow we got back in April '97. I really do like snow but I don't like it so early in the season.
We have an international student from Mexico living with us this year. His name is Alvaro and he is giddy with excitement about the forcasted snowfall. He is out now, buying his winter clothing-Columbia jacket, toque, gloves and a scarf. He'll pick up some long underwear on the weekend. And then he'll be set. He found today to be really cold and I tried to explain to him that a windy day like today can seem more uncomfortable than a sunny, windless day where the temperature hovers around the -15 mark. He'll find out soon enough I suppose.
When I asked Alvaro about the weather in Mexico, where he lives he says every day is the same. It gets quite cool at night and the daytime is pretty warm. Carolina, our Brazilian student from last year told me that every day in the winter (our summer) is about 35C-40C, there is a rain shower in the late afternoon and the nights cool off a little. Not much to talk about. I realize that is why we Canadians talk about the weather so much. One day can be immensely different from the next. Here in Winnipeg, we can have as much as a 30 degree difference in 24 hours. That's something to talk about! Nothing much to say when every day is the same as the last. Alvaro noted at dinner that "every day is different here."
Well, there's not much I can do about the forcasted 5 cm of snow with gusting winds for tomorrow. I'll pull out the winter jacket, shoes and scarf. And I've got my new gloves. I'm ready and I promise. Tomorrow, I will not complain. Not much anyway.
Today, I needed them.
Two days ago, it was 25 outside and gorgeous. The trees are changing colour and the gorgeous blue of the prairie sky always takes my breath away. I love the fall, and I appreciate every day that is still mild. I actually enjoy the winters too and my only complaint is that they last too long. By March, I'm ready to see grass and dirt and in early April I want to see the crocuses, tulips and daffodils.
We're supposed to get a blast of winter tonight-a Colorado low. This system usually brings lots of moisture and it was actually responsible for all the snow we got back in April '97. I really do like snow but I don't like it so early in the season.
We have an international student from Mexico living with us this year. His name is Alvaro and he is giddy with excitement about the forcasted snowfall. He is out now, buying his winter clothing-Columbia jacket, toque, gloves and a scarf. He'll pick up some long underwear on the weekend. And then he'll be set. He found today to be really cold and I tried to explain to him that a windy day like today can seem more uncomfortable than a sunny, windless day where the temperature hovers around the -15 mark. He'll find out soon enough I suppose.
When I asked Alvaro about the weather in Mexico, where he lives he says every day is the same. It gets quite cool at night and the daytime is pretty warm. Carolina, our Brazilian student from last year told me that every day in the winter (our summer) is about 35C-40C, there is a rain shower in the late afternoon and the nights cool off a little. Not much to talk about. I realize that is why we Canadians talk about the weather so much. One day can be immensely different from the next. Here in Winnipeg, we can have as much as a 30 degree difference in 24 hours. That's something to talk about! Nothing much to say when every day is the same as the last. Alvaro noted at dinner that "every day is different here."
Well, there's not much I can do about the forcasted 5 cm of snow with gusting winds for tomorrow. I'll pull out the winter jacket, shoes and scarf. And I've got my new gloves. I'm ready and I promise. Tomorrow, I will not complain. Not much anyway.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Groceries
Saturday afternoon *I* went to get groceries. Yes, me. And I swear that I will never do it again on a Saturday afternoon.
Wes has been the grocery shopper for quite a few years. I really don't like the grocery store. But I've decided that because I do most of the cooking and I have time during the week, I should start again. I've been holding off but I just had to go on Saturday of all days. It was overwhelming. It was busy. And I hate those places where you have to do all the work-choose the groceries, put them in the cart, on the belt, buy your bags, put the groceries back in the cart etc. etc. You know the deal. And because I don't often get into the bigger stores, I find that I easily get overwhelmed. I had a list and still I forgot all sorts of things. I was not going back to the beginning of the store though. We'll just have to do without toilet paper this week.
The store that I shopped at today is one of the newer stores in Winnipeg. And *somebody* gave the layout of this monstrosity a lot of thought. In order to do a week's worth of groceries, you need to go through the entire store. You can hardly skip an aisle. The meat counter goes north to south and the dry good aisles go east to west. And between the two is the junk food area. Every time you get to the end of the dry goods aisle, you meet up with the junk food. I can say no to junk food once, maybe twice but when I have to pass the cheezies 4 times, I give in! I HAVE to buy them! "They" know how to get you every time.
I know that I should be more appreciative of the incredible variety available to us here in North America. I can purchase just about any kind of food or spice that I would ever want right here in my own city. I do appreciate the fact that compared to most people in the world, a relatively small percentage of my income ends up going towards groceries. And I expect that as I do more of the grocery shopping and become more accustomed to this task, I'll be able to whip through the store in no time, just like Wes.
But for the next few weeks, stay outamyway. I can get very cranky when you're sitting in the middle of a too-narrow aisle talking to your friend and I need to get by. And my cart needs an alignment. And they're all out of my favourite jam. And the floor's too dirty. And the mushrooms look bad.....
I hope it gets better. Do ya think my attitude needs changing?
Wes has been the grocery shopper for quite a few years. I really don't like the grocery store. But I've decided that because I do most of the cooking and I have time during the week, I should start again. I've been holding off but I just had to go on Saturday of all days. It was overwhelming. It was busy. And I hate those places where you have to do all the work-choose the groceries, put them in the cart, on the belt, buy your bags, put the groceries back in the cart etc. etc. You know the deal. And because I don't often get into the bigger stores, I find that I easily get overwhelmed. I had a list and still I forgot all sorts of things. I was not going back to the beginning of the store though. We'll just have to do without toilet paper this week.
The store that I shopped at today is one of the newer stores in Winnipeg. And *somebody* gave the layout of this monstrosity a lot of thought. In order to do a week's worth of groceries, you need to go through the entire store. You can hardly skip an aisle. The meat counter goes north to south and the dry good aisles go east to west. And between the two is the junk food area. Every time you get to the end of the dry goods aisle, you meet up with the junk food. I can say no to junk food once, maybe twice but when I have to pass the cheezies 4 times, I give in! I HAVE to buy them! "They" know how to get you every time.
I know that I should be more appreciative of the incredible variety available to us here in North America. I can purchase just about any kind of food or spice that I would ever want right here in my own city. I do appreciate the fact that compared to most people in the world, a relatively small percentage of my income ends up going towards groceries. And I expect that as I do more of the grocery shopping and become more accustomed to this task, I'll be able to whip through the store in no time, just like Wes.
But for the next few weeks, stay outamyway. I can get very cranky when you're sitting in the middle of a too-narrow aisle talking to your friend and I need to get by. And my cart needs an alignment. And they're all out of my favourite jam. And the floor's too dirty. And the mushrooms look bad.....
I hope it gets better. Do ya think my attitude needs changing?
Monday, September 26, 2005
Meeting CJ
CJ was over tonight. He and Kristen have been "official" for about a month. He seems like a nice enough guy. He likes to cook and enjoys "The Food Channel." Lately, he's been cooking a lot of sea food. That's good.
He's 19, Kristen will be 17 in a few weeks. He's currently unemployed but hopes to attend college to learn a trade-electrical or plumbing or even both. That's good.
He's the youngest of 3 children, all male. His parents are still married-that's good.
He looks you in the eye when he speaks to you and was willing to answer all my questions. That's good.
If Kristen follows the normal pattern of her family (aunts, uncles, brother) she will marry CJ. We all married the first person we dated. But it's too early to tell with her, right? It's only been a month after all.
Once again, it is our youngest child who is causing us to move into uncharted territory. Ben was 21 when he met Carolyn and while we didn't know her, we knew some of her friends and neighbours. There were some connections. And they were both older and pretty mature.
With CJ, I don't think there is one person who knows both him (or his family and friends) and us and our family and friends. There are no connections. No one I can talk to and find out what kind of person he is or what kind of people his family are.
And actually my biggest worry is the fact that I don't know where he stands spiritually. God and the church are a huge part of the life of our family. It's hard for me to imagine someone who is part of our family who does not hold similar values to ours.
I suppose worrying about this won't help at all. Worry just disrupts my sleep. But I do pray that if this relationship continues, CJ will recognize that knowing, believing and trusting in God does bring joy, peace and contentment. And I pray that we will be witnesses of God's love to CJ and his family.
He just left now and said good bye and wished me a good night. He is respectful and has good manners. That's good eh?
He's 19, Kristen will be 17 in a few weeks. He's currently unemployed but hopes to attend college to learn a trade-electrical or plumbing or even both. That's good.
He's the youngest of 3 children, all male. His parents are still married-that's good.
He looks you in the eye when he speaks to you and was willing to answer all my questions. That's good.
If Kristen follows the normal pattern of her family (aunts, uncles, brother) she will marry CJ. We all married the first person we dated. But it's too early to tell with her, right? It's only been a month after all.
Once again, it is our youngest child who is causing us to move into uncharted territory. Ben was 21 when he met Carolyn and while we didn't know her, we knew some of her friends and neighbours. There were some connections. And they were both older and pretty mature.
With CJ, I don't think there is one person who knows both him (or his family and friends) and us and our family and friends. There are no connections. No one I can talk to and find out what kind of person he is or what kind of people his family are.
And actually my biggest worry is the fact that I don't know where he stands spiritually. God and the church are a huge part of the life of our family. It's hard for me to imagine someone who is part of our family who does not hold similar values to ours.
I suppose worrying about this won't help at all. Worry just disrupts my sleep. But I do pray that if this relationship continues, CJ will recognize that knowing, believing and trusting in God does bring joy, peace and contentment. And I pray that we will be witnesses of God's love to CJ and his family.
He just left now and said good bye and wished me a good night. He is respectful and has good manners. That's good eh?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
So Much To Do, So Little Time
I have a lot to do. Work, laundry, housework, phone calls to make. So why am I making chocolate chip cookies now?
My Mother's Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe
Cream together:
1 cup margarine
1 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup white sugar
Add 2 eggs and 1 tsp. vanilla
Sift together:
2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
a
Add to creamed mixture.
Add:
2 cups chocolate chips and 1 1/4 cups oatmeal. I like the large flake, old fashioned kind. It seems more wholesome to me.
Bake for 10-12 minutes in a 350 degree oven.
Enjoy!
My Mother's Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe
Cream together:
1 cup margarine
1 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup white sugar
Add 2 eggs and 1 tsp. vanilla
Sift together:
2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
a
Add to creamed mixture.
Add:
2 cups chocolate chips and 1 1/4 cups oatmeal. I like the large flake, old fashioned kind. It seems more wholesome to me.
Bake for 10-12 minutes in a 350 degree oven.
Enjoy!
Happy Anniversary Wes!
It was a mere 26 years ago today that Wes and I "tied the knot" (to use an old cliche). I say "mere" because sometimes it seems like it's only been a few years that we've been together. But when I look at my adult sons and a daughter nearing adulthood, I am reminded again that it's been a long time.
I think that it seems like fewer than 26 years because daily, I'm still learning more about Wes and about living in a marriage relationship. We haven't got it all figured out yet. We're still working out the flaws of our relationship. In today's post, I'd like to honour my husband. We're not much into anniversary gifts and can't afford gold and diamond jewellry. I'm not too mushy either. So this post is my anniversary gift to my dear husband.
You were the one to put the kids to bed in the earlier years, before it was "trendy" for dads to do things like that. I knew that I could go to meetings in the evenings and be sure that our children had stories read to them and were lovingly tucked into bed.
You are a hard worker. I often brag about you and how you are so efficient and can get so much done. I must drive you crazy sometimes because I can be so inefficient and take ages to get a job done. I'm always very aware of how I'm feeling about a particular task. If I don't like what I'm doing, it's hard for me to continue. If you see that a job needs doing, you'll do it, without complaining, knowing that it has to be done. Remember putting pink insulation in that little crawl space attic in the kitchen at Hart Ave? It must have been 30 degrees outside and you just faithfully finished that awful job. I would have quit long before that. I can't name the number of times I've had a great idea (the garden) and you have gladly participated in it. These things would have never been done if it wasn't for your hard work and perseverance.
You have taught me more about the unconditional love and grace of God than anyone else on this earth. You have accepted me as I am for all the years of our marriage. You have loved me when I have acted unlovable. You have put up with my ranting and raving, with my moods and yet you still loved me.
When money was tight, you didn't insist I find a well-paying job. You knew that I needed to find something meaningful, even though the pay wasn't very good. You supported my voluteer efforts when they would take up much of my time and also, our income.
You are neat, I am messy. I must drive you crazy sometimes! But you have always continued to pick up after yourself.
You are organized, I am disorganized. But you have never held that against me or tried to “fix” me.
What makes our marriage work? I think that it is partly because of the promises we made to each other 26 years ago. When we are too tired, anxious and fearful to focus on each other, we remember the vows we made. “In sickness and health, for richer for poorer…”
We made these vows before God and family and friends who have supported us and encouraged us over the years. To be part of a strong community has enabled our marriage to thrive and flourish.
I don’t know what’s in store for us in the coming year. We have been spared so much of the pain and heartache that others have experienced but I know that there will be hard times ahead. I’m just grateful that you hold as a high priority a relationship with God. I know that whatever will happen as long as we lean on each other and on God, we will be able to withstand the storms that will inevitably come our way.
So, happy anniversary my love. May we have many more!
I think that it seems like fewer than 26 years because daily, I'm still learning more about Wes and about living in a marriage relationship. We haven't got it all figured out yet. We're still working out the flaws of our relationship. In today's post, I'd like to honour my husband. We're not much into anniversary gifts and can't afford gold and diamond jewellry. I'm not too mushy either. So this post is my anniversary gift to my dear husband.
You were the one to put the kids to bed in the earlier years, before it was "trendy" for dads to do things like that. I knew that I could go to meetings in the evenings and be sure that our children had stories read to them and were lovingly tucked into bed.
You are a hard worker. I often brag about you and how you are so efficient and can get so much done. I must drive you crazy sometimes because I can be so inefficient and take ages to get a job done. I'm always very aware of how I'm feeling about a particular task. If I don't like what I'm doing, it's hard for me to continue. If you see that a job needs doing, you'll do it, without complaining, knowing that it has to be done. Remember putting pink insulation in that little crawl space attic in the kitchen at Hart Ave? It must have been 30 degrees outside and you just faithfully finished that awful job. I would have quit long before that. I can't name the number of times I've had a great idea (the garden) and you have gladly participated in it. These things would have never been done if it wasn't for your hard work and perseverance.
You have taught me more about the unconditional love and grace of God than anyone else on this earth. You have accepted me as I am for all the years of our marriage. You have loved me when I have acted unlovable. You have put up with my ranting and raving, with my moods and yet you still loved me.
When money was tight, you didn't insist I find a well-paying job. You knew that I needed to find something meaningful, even though the pay wasn't very good. You supported my voluteer efforts when they would take up much of my time and also, our income.
You are neat, I am messy. I must drive you crazy sometimes! But you have always continued to pick up after yourself.
You are organized, I am disorganized. But you have never held that against me or tried to “fix” me.
What makes our marriage work? I think that it is partly because of the promises we made to each other 26 years ago. When we are too tired, anxious and fearful to focus on each other, we remember the vows we made. “In sickness and health, for richer for poorer…”
We made these vows before God and family and friends who have supported us and encouraged us over the years. To be part of a strong community has enabled our marriage to thrive and flourish.
I don’t know what’s in store for us in the coming year. We have been spared so much of the pain and heartache that others have experienced but I know that there will be hard times ahead. I’m just grateful that you hold as a high priority a relationship with God. I know that whatever will happen as long as we lean on each other and on God, we will be able to withstand the storms that will inevitably come our way.
So, happy anniversary my love. May we have many more!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
It's Time
I am writing this blog from a lovely retreat centre in Alexandria, Minnesota. The “Lake Geneva Retreat and Conference Centre is situated on the banks of Lake Geneva. From where I am sitting I can see the lake, surrounded by trees. It is very peaceful and quiet here. The accommodations are excellent and the food is pretty good too. Solid, comfortable, basic. Like the good people of Minnesota.
I’m here because my church is the “host” church of the fall “Classis” meeting and so I, along with two other people of our worship team have been given the opportunity to lead the pastors and delegates in worship. We’re finished now and this afternoon, the people here will be taking care of church business.
We are part of Classis Lake Superior-the only international Classis of the Christian Reformed Church. That’s something isn’t it? We can meet together and find many things that we can agree on. We don’t talk politics as I’m sure there might be some very differing views but as far as most of the business goes, we are usually able to come to some kind of consensus.
But I’m really having a problem today. You see, our Classis is one of the few in our denomination that has not yet agreed to allow woman elders to represent their churches. So at this meeting, there are about 60 men and 3 or 4 women, including me. For so many years, while I have felt that this was wrong, I was able to work within the rules and remain positive that this will change some day. They will see the light, won’t they? And while I believe that it is just a matter of time, I’m getting mighty impatient. It was about 10 years ago that I was at my last Classis meeting when I was part of the “Vision Implementation Team.” There were about 5 of us who spent hours talking about our vision, mission and values. And there were many positive changes that came out of that.
But today, it hit me again. My local church is a community where men and women are invited and encouraged to participate fully in the life of our body. But we are part of a very conservative Classis where there are many churches that will not allow women to hold any position of leadership unless it’s with the children. What’s with that anyway? Do they have different standards for adults than they do for children? Are women “good enough” to teach children but not adults? Many of these churches support female missionaries who preach and hold leadership positions in third world countries. Why is it okay there but not in North America?
If the church, which is the body of Christ, is to reflect the image of God to the world, this Classis is missing half of that image. By keeping the women out, they are not reflecting the true nature of Christ. Undoubtedly, there are many good, sincere, godly men in this Classis but they cannot reflect God’s female side. And women are for the most part invited to join the meetings but when an “in-camera” session is held, the women have to leave. What is this? Why do we put up with this?
After our early morning worship time, I went back to my room for a little nap and I daydreamed about something I’d like to do. When the women are asked to leave while the men discuss issues that we should not be privy to, I will refuse to leave. I will stand up and announce that I will not be treated second class in this place and they would have to drag me out. That’s what I daydreamed about. I don’t think I have the courage to do it though. Not today. But maybe next time.
There are people who are here today at this meeting who feel the same way I do but this issue has been so divisive that they hesitate to bring a motion to the Classis to change the church order unless they can be pretty sure that people will be receptive to it. I know that our own local church, Good News Fellowship, is talking about being the catalyst for bringing about the change but we have to be sure we have the energy and willingness to follow through.
I think it’s time. There are women who have left this denomination and some of the churches because they feel they have been treated as second class citizens. There was an excellent speaker here yesterday who spoke about leadership. He talked about Wayne Gretsky who, when asked how he learned to play hockey so well replied that most players move to where the puck is. He tries to move to where the puck is going. We were encouraged as church leaders, to see where society is going so that we will be there to support, encourage, and share the love of Jesus. The church has always been behind societal trends and it’s inability to allow women to be fully involved is absolutely contrary to what society looks like. Where else will you have a meeting where women are not represented?
There are some verses in the bible that seem to state pretty clearly that only men can be leaders in the church. My argument to that is we need to read the bible in the context in which it was written. We need to keep in mind the culture of the time when the bible was written. I would also argue that God created man and woman, in his image. We both bear the likeness of God and so we both have the responsibility to reflect God to the rest of the world. In the New Testament, the apostle Paul reminds us that in God, we are neither male nor female, slave nor free-all are equal in the eyes of God.
It’s time to move forward. It’s time that the catholic (universal) church, began to truly reflect God’s image-kind, loving, generous, patient, honest, just, and forgiving to a world that craves these attributes. It’s time for those of us who are Christians to be willing to stand up for what is right and just, even if it means that there may be disunity and schism. Jesus himself was not afraid of controversy and he stood up for the rights of the many people in his day that did not have the means to fight. People like women, children, the ill and vulnerable members of society.
One day, I hope that the church will recognize just how wrong it has been in this area. For true healing to take place, I believe that the leaders of the church must acknowledge that they wrongly interpreted scriptures and that they are sorry for how it negatively impacted society and the church. What a powerful message that would send! And who knows, maybe it’ll start a revival. Those people who find the church redundant will see that the message it brings truly is current, exciting and life-giving. They will see that the church is a place where they can grapple with the tough questions about God and spirituality and that all voices will be heard-young, old, rich, poor, male and female.
God help us.
I’m here because my church is the “host” church of the fall “Classis” meeting and so I, along with two other people of our worship team have been given the opportunity to lead the pastors and delegates in worship. We’re finished now and this afternoon, the people here will be taking care of church business.
We are part of Classis Lake Superior-the only international Classis of the Christian Reformed Church. That’s something isn’t it? We can meet together and find many things that we can agree on. We don’t talk politics as I’m sure there might be some very differing views but as far as most of the business goes, we are usually able to come to some kind of consensus.
But I’m really having a problem today. You see, our Classis is one of the few in our denomination that has not yet agreed to allow woman elders to represent their churches. So at this meeting, there are about 60 men and 3 or 4 women, including me. For so many years, while I have felt that this was wrong, I was able to work within the rules and remain positive that this will change some day. They will see the light, won’t they? And while I believe that it is just a matter of time, I’m getting mighty impatient. It was about 10 years ago that I was at my last Classis meeting when I was part of the “Vision Implementation Team.” There were about 5 of us who spent hours talking about our vision, mission and values. And there were many positive changes that came out of that.
But today, it hit me again. My local church is a community where men and women are invited and encouraged to participate fully in the life of our body. But we are part of a very conservative Classis where there are many churches that will not allow women to hold any position of leadership unless it’s with the children. What’s with that anyway? Do they have different standards for adults than they do for children? Are women “good enough” to teach children but not adults? Many of these churches support female missionaries who preach and hold leadership positions in third world countries. Why is it okay there but not in North America?
If the church, which is the body of Christ, is to reflect the image of God to the world, this Classis is missing half of that image. By keeping the women out, they are not reflecting the true nature of Christ. Undoubtedly, there are many good, sincere, godly men in this Classis but they cannot reflect God’s female side. And women are for the most part invited to join the meetings but when an “in-camera” session is held, the women have to leave. What is this? Why do we put up with this?
After our early morning worship time, I went back to my room for a little nap and I daydreamed about something I’d like to do. When the women are asked to leave while the men discuss issues that we should not be privy to, I will refuse to leave. I will stand up and announce that I will not be treated second class in this place and they would have to drag me out. That’s what I daydreamed about. I don’t think I have the courage to do it though. Not today. But maybe next time.
There are people who are here today at this meeting who feel the same way I do but this issue has been so divisive that they hesitate to bring a motion to the Classis to change the church order unless they can be pretty sure that people will be receptive to it. I know that our own local church, Good News Fellowship, is talking about being the catalyst for bringing about the change but we have to be sure we have the energy and willingness to follow through.
I think it’s time. There are women who have left this denomination and some of the churches because they feel they have been treated as second class citizens. There was an excellent speaker here yesterday who spoke about leadership. He talked about Wayne Gretsky who, when asked how he learned to play hockey so well replied that most players move to where the puck is. He tries to move to where the puck is going. We were encouraged as church leaders, to see where society is going so that we will be there to support, encourage, and share the love of Jesus. The church has always been behind societal trends and it’s inability to allow women to be fully involved is absolutely contrary to what society looks like. Where else will you have a meeting where women are not represented?
There are some verses in the bible that seem to state pretty clearly that only men can be leaders in the church. My argument to that is we need to read the bible in the context in which it was written. We need to keep in mind the culture of the time when the bible was written. I would also argue that God created man and woman, in his image. We both bear the likeness of God and so we both have the responsibility to reflect God to the rest of the world. In the New Testament, the apostle Paul reminds us that in God, we are neither male nor female, slave nor free-all are equal in the eyes of God.
It’s time to move forward. It’s time that the catholic (universal) church, began to truly reflect God’s image-kind, loving, generous, patient, honest, just, and forgiving to a world that craves these attributes. It’s time for those of us who are Christians to be willing to stand up for what is right and just, even if it means that there may be disunity and schism. Jesus himself was not afraid of controversy and he stood up for the rights of the many people in his day that did not have the means to fight. People like women, children, the ill and vulnerable members of society.
One day, I hope that the church will recognize just how wrong it has been in this area. For true healing to take place, I believe that the leaders of the church must acknowledge that they wrongly interpreted scriptures and that they are sorry for how it negatively impacted society and the church. What a powerful message that would send! And who knows, maybe it’ll start a revival. Those people who find the church redundant will see that the message it brings truly is current, exciting and life-giving. They will see that the church is a place where they can grapple with the tough questions about God and spirituality and that all voices will be heard-young, old, rich, poor, male and female.
God help us.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
My Garden
Check out these pictures! A couple of weeks ago I was wondering what I'd do with 30 yards of topsoil and today, I have a beautiful garden. I bought 8 perennials at a "2 for one sale" at a local garden centre but all of the rest come from the gardens of my sisters and from a friend. When I look at this garden, I am so grateful for the people in my life who are so willing to share and to work at helping me out. This garden is more beautiful to me because it represents the best in people. We've heard and read so much about the worst in people these last 10 days and it's good to be reminded of what is good about people.Yvonne spent an entire day with me taking the plants out of Michele's garden and then replanting them in mine; Michele was willing to give me whatever I wanted from her garden.
When I visited Gwen, a friend whom I've only just known for a year or 2, I could see from her yard that she is a gardener. We talked about gardens and I told her about my (at that point) empty flower bed. A few days later she came to me with some of the beauty of her garden in a large garbage bag which I promptly plunked into the ground.
I feel so blessed.
I am not a gardener. For the life of me I can't remember the names of the flowers. My sisters on the other hand can recognize a flower just by its leaf. Not only can they recognize the flowers, they know where they'll do best (sun, shade, dry spot, wet spot). Sometimes they can even recognize a plant or flower they've never seen before. I love it when they find one like that and start talking about it. "I've never seen this before. It looks a little like a ________ but the leaf/flower/stem is different. Do you think it might be a __________?" And the conversation continues until they either figure it out or decide to go home and check their flower books.
But alas, I cannot join in those conversations. I hope that some of their knowledge will rub off on me but so far it hasn't. While I do not claim to be a gardener, I love and can appreciate beautiful gardens. I love stopping at gardens when I'm walking. Wes and I visit "The English Garden" at Assiniboine park several times most summers. And I can talk the talk with other gardeners if only to ask them the name of a particular plant and if it is a perennial or annual. I find that if I ask a question, a gardener can go on and on about his or her garden-a conversation that I love and have never found boring.
For my new garden I bought some stakes upon which I will write the names of all the perennials that I have planted. Hopefully, if I see the names every time I walk in the garden something will stick and just maybe, I'll learn them. I hope so. But for now, I'll be content to look at the beauty, and take care of them so that in the spring I will be able to give some of them back.
That's one of the wonderful things about gardens. We receive, and then we can give back. I can't wait to share the beauty of mine. And I can't wait till spring! (sigh)
The 2 Month Long Battle
The invasion has begun.
The army that would like to conquer, chew and destroy has already sent at least 2 sentinels. We know they are still in the area because we have seen some evidence of their presence. Early one morning, Tim actually saw them but as it was 6:00AM and he was moving a little slowly, he was unable to track them down.
You'd think they'd learn. You'd think their fathers and mothers, grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins would have let them know that although they might find food in certain locations, they would eventually meet their demise at this house.
And so we begin the battle yet again. I pull out my arsenol, all nicely packaged together in a plastic bag. Death Traps, check. Sticky traps, check. Poison, check (Yes Yvonne. Your dear doggy Buddy didn't eat it all last year.) Humane traps (I still can't understand why my own husband would buy a mouse trap that allows the rodent to live so that it can be released-back into my house!) A plug-in thingy that apparently makes noise that only a mouse can hear. I think this one particularly takes the cake as I'm convinced that the sound attracts rather than repels them. By the way. If I can hear the sound does that mean I'm a mouse?
I suppose that you can't really blame the poor critters. It's getting cold outside and like us humans, they like to live at ease, where the food is plentiful and the temperature is comfortable. They get all of this in my house. I have been told that I have a gift for hospitality and the mice seem to sense this. The food can easily be found in the bedrooms of certain residents of this abode, in the family room couch or under the fridge and stove in the kitchen. Mice really don't need much to keep them going-chocolate bar wrappers, cracker crumbs, even empty slurpee cups can seem like a feast to a cold and hungry mouse. We even leave nesting material around for them like clothes, blankets or paper on the floor. Last year, they spent some time in Carolina's boots but then decided to take up residence in her gym bag because the food and clothes, readily available, were preferable to the footwear. (She absolutely refused to wear those boots again.)
The first year we moved into this house we caught 17 mice in the fall. We had never had mice in any previous homes so we were unprepared for this onslaught and it was too late when we finally began fighting back. I think that was the year that word got around in the mouse community that our house was party central.
But I've learned. Joey, my nephew frequently tells the story when "auntie Linda killed 4 baby mice on the stairs with a toilet plunger." Actually it was a toilet brush and it was 5 mice (but who's keeping track anyway). As sickened as I was about this brutal murder, I just knew that if I didn't get them when I saw them, I'd be battling with their offspring in a few months. And boy do they know how to procreate.
Today, I can say with a measure of certainty that I am smarter than a mouse. I have discovered tricks that will get a mouse every time or at least most times. This year, I'm ready. I've got traps loaded with my prefered ammo-peanut butter. I've laid them out in strategic locations and eagerly look forward to asking Wes or Tim to check the traps every morning before they leave for work. (I am a fairly independent, liberated woman. But when it comes to emptying mouse traps, I believe that it is a man's job. Both Wes and Tim are willing to do this rather unpleasant job.)
So, the battle will continue until the snow falls or things freeze up around here. But I'm ready. Bring 'em on. I'll take care of 'em. Maybe they'll be smarter than their forefathers and foremothers and tell the younger generation that the neighbour's house is far more appealing.
The army that would like to conquer, chew and destroy has already sent at least 2 sentinels. We know they are still in the area because we have seen some evidence of their presence. Early one morning, Tim actually saw them but as it was 6:00AM and he was moving a little slowly, he was unable to track them down.
You'd think they'd learn. You'd think their fathers and mothers, grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins would have let them know that although they might find food in certain locations, they would eventually meet their demise at this house.
And so we begin the battle yet again. I pull out my arsenol, all nicely packaged together in a plastic bag. Death Traps, check. Sticky traps, check. Poison, check (Yes Yvonne. Your dear doggy Buddy didn't eat it all last year.) Humane traps (I still can't understand why my own husband would buy a mouse trap that allows the rodent to live so that it can be released-back into my house!) A plug-in thingy that apparently makes noise that only a mouse can hear. I think this one particularly takes the cake as I'm convinced that the sound attracts rather than repels them. By the way. If I can hear the sound does that mean I'm a mouse?
I suppose that you can't really blame the poor critters. It's getting cold outside and like us humans, they like to live at ease, where the food is plentiful and the temperature is comfortable. They get all of this in my house. I have been told that I have a gift for hospitality and the mice seem to sense this. The food can easily be found in the bedrooms of certain residents of this abode, in the family room couch or under the fridge and stove in the kitchen. Mice really don't need much to keep them going-chocolate bar wrappers, cracker crumbs, even empty slurpee cups can seem like a feast to a cold and hungry mouse. We even leave nesting material around for them like clothes, blankets or paper on the floor. Last year, they spent some time in Carolina's boots but then decided to take up residence in her gym bag because the food and clothes, readily available, were preferable to the footwear. (She absolutely refused to wear those boots again.)
The first year we moved into this house we caught 17 mice in the fall. We had never had mice in any previous homes so we were unprepared for this onslaught and it was too late when we finally began fighting back. I think that was the year that word got around in the mouse community that our house was party central.
But I've learned. Joey, my nephew frequently tells the story when "auntie Linda killed 4 baby mice on the stairs with a toilet plunger." Actually it was a toilet brush and it was 5 mice (but who's keeping track anyway). As sickened as I was about this brutal murder, I just knew that if I didn't get them when I saw them, I'd be battling with their offspring in a few months. And boy do they know how to procreate.
Today, I can say with a measure of certainty that I am smarter than a mouse. I have discovered tricks that will get a mouse every time or at least most times. This year, I'm ready. I've got traps loaded with my prefered ammo-peanut butter. I've laid them out in strategic locations and eagerly look forward to asking Wes or Tim to check the traps every morning before they leave for work. (I am a fairly independent, liberated woman. But when it comes to emptying mouse traps, I believe that it is a man's job. Both Wes and Tim are willing to do this rather unpleasant job.)
So, the battle will continue until the snow falls or things freeze up around here. But I'm ready. Bring 'em on. I'll take care of 'em. Maybe they'll be smarter than their forefathers and foremothers and tell the younger generation that the neighbour's house is far more appealing.
Friday, September 09, 2005
The Waiting Game
Why do they call waiting a game? My idea of a game is something fun and often loud. Something that can make me laugh hysterically. Something that brings out my competitive nature.
Today I am playing the waiting game. And it's not fun. I ordered a computer on line last week and it was supposed to be delivered today. At the latest. It's 4:44 p.m. and it is not yet here so I'll have to do without it for a whole weekend and play this game next week until it comes.
I haven't let myself get too excited about the Dell Notebook Computer I ordered. It's not too fancy but it will be my own and I won't have to share it. Today, I did let myself get excited and now, I've resigned myself to the fact that it won't come before the weekend.
A few days ago there was a note left on my door from the courier company that will be delivering my computer. I was so excited. It came! Wes and I ate a quick supper and drove out to the depot near the airport to pick it up. When the box was brought out, I was surprised to see that it was so small. Wes asked if he was sure this was for us and the fellow behind the counter assured us that it was.
Upon closer scrutiny we discovered that it was a computer mouse. I was so disappointed! We had ordered a mouse for my laptop at the same time as we ordered the computer. Turns out that the "peripheral" items are shipped from Ottawa but my computer is supposed to be shipped from somewhere in the USA via Calgary. Go figure.
And they can still make money doing business this way? Sheesh.
Today I am playing the waiting game. And it's not fun. I ordered a computer on line last week and it was supposed to be delivered today. At the latest. It's 4:44 p.m. and it is not yet here so I'll have to do without it for a whole weekend and play this game next week until it comes.
I haven't let myself get too excited about the Dell Notebook Computer I ordered. It's not too fancy but it will be my own and I won't have to share it. Today, I did let myself get excited and now, I've resigned myself to the fact that it won't come before the weekend.
A few days ago there was a note left on my door from the courier company that will be delivering my computer. I was so excited. It came! Wes and I ate a quick supper and drove out to the depot near the airport to pick it up. When the box was brought out, I was surprised to see that it was so small. Wes asked if he was sure this was for us and the fellow behind the counter assured us that it was.
Upon closer scrutiny we discovered that it was a computer mouse. I was so disappointed! We had ordered a mouse for my laptop at the same time as we ordered the computer. Turns out that the "peripheral" items are shipped from Ottawa but my computer is supposed to be shipped from somewhere in the USA via Calgary. Go figure.
And they can still make money doing business this way? Sheesh.
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