CJ was over tonight. He and Kristen have been "official" for about a month. He seems like a nice enough guy. He likes to cook and enjoys "The Food Channel." Lately, he's been cooking a lot of sea food. That's good.
He's 19, Kristen will be 17 in a few weeks. He's currently unemployed but hopes to attend college to learn a trade-electrical or plumbing or even both. That's good.
He's the youngest of 3 children, all male. His parents are still married-that's good.
He looks you in the eye when he speaks to you and was willing to answer all my questions. That's good.
If Kristen follows the normal pattern of her family (aunts, uncles, brother) she will marry CJ. We all married the first person we dated. But it's too early to tell with her, right? It's only been a month after all.
Once again, it is our youngest child who is causing us to move into uncharted territory. Ben was 21 when he met Carolyn and while we didn't know her, we knew some of her friends and neighbours. There were some connections. And they were both older and pretty mature.
With CJ, I don't think there is one person who knows both him (or his family and friends) and us and our family and friends. There are no connections. No one I can talk to and find out what kind of person he is or what kind of people his family are.
And actually my biggest worry is the fact that I don't know where he stands spiritually. God and the church are a huge part of the life of our family. It's hard for me to imagine someone who is part of our family who does not hold similar values to ours.
I suppose worrying about this won't help at all. Worry just disrupts my sleep. But I do pray that if this relationship continues, CJ will recognize that knowing, believing and trusting in God does bring joy, peace and contentment. And I pray that we will be witnesses of God's love to CJ and his family.
He just left now and said good bye and wished me a good night. He is respectful and has good manners. That's good eh?
3 comments:
Oh man, I feel for you. I have no idea what the experience is like (obviously) but my heart still aches reading over your experience. My only way to relate is thinking about the most recent relationship in our family. Just make sure he doesn't up and "move" her to Alberta to quickly. wink, wink.
Oy ve! That should say TOO quickly. I'm cringing at my own comment.
Trust. It's all you can do, Linda. Trust Kristen to make wise choices based on a solid foundation of family and faith. Trust CJ to hold your daughter's heart with reverence and respect. And trust that God has a grand plan - for both of them.
{{{hugs}}}
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