Voting

I voted yesterday. Even though my vote doesn't really count as I am in Bill Blakie's riding and he ALWAYS wins, by a landslide. It took all of 5 minutes or so and while I was there, I had a few random thoughts:

- I thought of people in other countries who risk their lives to vote. Too often we hear of violence and intimidation on voting days in countries who are attempting to establish democracy.
- I remember watching a news story about election day in an African country (I don't remember which one it was) where people stood out in the blazing sun for hours, patiently waiting to mark their ballots.
- There are places in the world where all of the candidates are from one party. You get to vote "yes" or "no."
- Election day is one of those days where everyone in my neighbourhood stops for a moment and goes to vote. There is a bit of a party atmosphere in the polling station and I always think that they should have at least coffee and doughnuts for all of us. Then we can sit around and just "shoot the breeze" for a while.
- I really sense a strong feeling of community at the polling station. I can't recall any other time where I feel so much a part of my neighbourhood and my country. There are lots of people out on the street-walking-as the polling station is usually pretty close to home.
- I also feel that as an active voter, I do have the right to criticize and comment on what our politicians are doing. I participated in the election process, therefore I may participate in whatever happens once things are settled after the election. Those people who choose not to vote (and in my mind there is no good reason not to vote) have no right to comment on anything. When people tell me that they are not voting because they don't like any of the candidates, I want to tell them to get involved and change things. They cannot just stick their heads in the sand and then criticize whatever happens.

If you didn't vote, it's too late for you now but I would really encourage you to go out and vote next time you have a chance. Democracy depends on it.

New Year Resolution of a Mildly Disorganized Person

Not much to report today except that I had a good one. And, my office at the church is finished! Hooray! Now I have a place to work. It's tough doing it at home on the kitchen table. Only problem is that now I no longer have a "good" excuse for my disorganization.

There is a "Video Stop" store about one block from my home. It's smaller than some of the huge video rental places around town but it has more than enough selection for me. And...the best part about this place is that if you haven't returned your movie by 6:00 PM, they will call you with a reminder that your movie is due. How many places do that eh? They will only charge a late fee ($2.00) if it hasn't been returned by the time they open the next day. I think "Madeline at Video Stop" has our phone number memorized because she calls us so often. Wes and I don't watch too many movies but between us and the rest of the family living here in this old house, we are pretty good customers.

You see, I am not naturally a very organized person. I write most things down but all too often, the scrap of paper, napkin or envelope disappears and I can't remember the message or phone number. Every January I buy myself a nice new Daytimer and hope that this will be the year. Unfortunately, the Daytimer all too often languishes on a shelf, hardly used. I buy it in January because I can usually get one on sale so that when I dispose of it in December, I don't have to feel too guilty about hardly using it.

So, once again, this year I have every intention to be "more organized." I once asked Wes to teach me how to be more organized because to him, it seems to come more naturally. He looked at me and said "Huh? I don't know, you just do it." So, no lessons from Wes. He'd probably tell me to write my notes in a book or a planner and not on little pieces of paper which wouldn't help me anyway. He is gracious and very patient with me.

I don't make New Year's Resolutions because, I am seldom able to keep them. But, this year, I resolve to be more thankful for people like Madeline and Wes, who are willing to show me grace and understanding, accepting my foibles as part of who I am.

Now that's a resolution that I can keep.

Update on Sammy

Sammy's been with us for 2 weeks now and today, we realized that it is entirely possible that he doesn't seem to understand our commands because he was raised with a French speaking family. He seemed to respond much more favorably to our French commands than to our English commands. We do not know much about Sammy's past except that he was picked up by the Winnipeg Animal services (the dog pound) after the police arrested his owner. There are many communities around Winnipeg with lots of Francophones, so it is very possible that he is a French speaking dog. No wonder he can't sit, stay, lie down, heel...Sammy's signed up for Dog Training on Thursday but I'm wondering if instead, Wes and I should take French classes.

Here are two lists that I've made up in honour of Sammy. This morning he was in the dog house but tonight, I'm a little less frustrated with him and actually hopeful that he's already learned a lesson or two about sleeping until at least, 6:30 AM.

What I Like About Sammy:

1. He's quite cute.
2. He doesn't shed too much.
3. For 22 1/2 hours out of every 24, he doesn't bark.
4. He doesn't mind when I wipe his paws.
5. He "forces" me to go out for a walk, even when I don't feel like it.
6. Wes says he likes his bath.
7. He doesn't jump up on people.
8. He usually "goes" outside.
9. He doesn't beg at the dinner table.
10. He doesn't chew.

What I Don't Like About Sammy:

1. He barks at 4:30 in the morning.
2. Nothing we do can get him to stop.
3. Waking up at 4:30 AM can make me very cranky.
4. He smells like wet dog after he comes in for a walk and I don't like that smell.
5. I really don't like him on the couch.
6. When he wakes me up at 4:30 AM, I can't get back to sleep.
7. I'm sure he'd love to sleep with me and Wes but I will not sleep with a dog. Wes knows it's either me or the dog.
8. He doesn't seem to mind getting sprayed in the face with water (the dog, not Wes).
9. I keep telling him that I am top dog but he doesn't seem to get it.
10. He barks for about an hour from 4:30-6:00 AM.

If anyone out there in blog land can give me an idea as to what I can do about the barking, I'd love to hear it. Remember, sleeping on the bed is not an option! I hope that before too long my "What I Like About Sammy" list is longer than my "What I Don't Like About Sammy" list.

This and That

I went out this morning and as I was walking toward the garage, three thoughts popped into my head:

1. I'm so grateful for a garage. There must have been 15 cm. of snow (that's 6 inches for those of you who think in imperial terms) that had fallen and I didn't have to clean it off of my car.
2. My car is FILTHY. With lots of near zero temperatures, the roads are really messy and it is impossible to keep a car clean. I need to clean it today as I can no longer see out the windows.
3. I have to get gas. I'm down to a quarter tank.

Imagine my delight when I got to my car to find it squeaky clean with a full tank of gas! Now that's sweet. And you'd never believe who did it for me. Tim! There aren't too many 18 year olds who will do that when borrowing their mom's car. Today, he's my favourite son.

Introducing...Sammy

Here he is. Last night was a pretty good night so today I'm liking him a little more. When I left this morning to take Kristen to her basketball practise he decided to leave a little "gift" on the floor. Oh well, what can I expect. Hopefully it won't happen too often. This floor, as you can see is pretty easy to clean up. Notice the mop and pail in the corner. It's staying there for a while. No need to put it away especially if I need to use it regularly.

He's definitely cuter than the turkey wouldn't you say?

Sammy

Heather suggested to me that she was getting tired of the old ugly turkey and that I should get off my butt and write something else. Well, she didn’t actually say it that way but if you’ve been checking this blog for new posts, you’re probably getting pretty tired of that ugly bird too.

We had a wonderful Christmas/New Years break this year. Wes always gets the whole week off so that’s always nice. We had briefly considered redecorating our bedroom and I’m glad we didn’t do it. I was worried that our normally busy life would become busier and more hectic if we went ahead with a project like this. They always seem to take more time, energy and money than we expect. Now, we’re feeling like we had a real holiday and are feeling peaceful and rejuvenated.

The big news in our family for 2006 is the fact that we got a dog. Yes, I, Linda, pet tolerator am now the owner of a very cute 8 month old Cocker Spaniel named Sammy. Several weeks ago I suggested that perhaps, one day, in the future, at some time, we might possibly consider owning a dog. That was all Wes had to hear. That evening he was on line, searching for dogs that might be appropriate for us. He printed up pictures, bookmarked web sites and emailed links to me-all doggy related. When Sammy became available, how could I suggest that we wait a bit longer? Wes was really anxious to get us a dog and so, on Sunday, January 1, we picked Sammy up from a foster home.

The first day was rough. We have never owned a dog so we were pretty unsure of what to do although we had borrowed a number of books from the library. Sammy did his business 5 times-four times in the house and only once outside. Then, Sunday night Wes and I had to take turns staying up with him because as soon as we left him, he would start crying and barking. We really don’t want him on our bed-especially because he’s got fleas-so there we were, on the couch in the living room, within site of Sammy, trying to reassure him that we were not going to abandon him.

The second day was much better. We read the books and put Sammy on a schedule. We did not let him out of our sight and he was successful in the “business” part of his life. He hardly barked and that night, after covering his kennel with a blanket, he slept until 6:30 am. Day 3 was good too. And he slept through the night again.

Last night, for some reason, he started barking again. What’s the deal with that? Is he getting more comfortable with us and therefore more demanding? We agreed (translation: *I* insisted) that Wes would be the one with the primary responsibility for Sammy and so he was up until midnight trying to stop the barking. Finally, I heard some banging, crashing and …silence. Wes came to bed and told me that he put Sammy and his kennel into the heated front porch. Before he could finish telling me, we heard the unmistakable sounds of a dog barking only it was much fainter. We decided that we could not let this continue either because we were sure the neighbours could hear Sammy through the windows in the porch. Wes retrieved Sammy and kennel while I did a google search on “nighttime barking.”

(Warning: If you are a dog lover, please do not continue reading)
It seems that the solution that a number of sites had for a barking dog was water. If the dog starts barking, just squirt a bit of water at him and the barking should stop. Well, that’s what we did. Every time Sammy started again, he’d get a firm “Quiet!” and a squirt. It seemed somewhat cruel but I figured it was animal lovers who suggested this and if we didn’t get some sleep, we’d be treating everyone around us cruelly. Three or four visits to the kennel to squirt Sammy and once again…silence.

This morning, he was none the worse for wear and was happy to see both Wes and I, the cruel pet owners. I hope he’s learned his lesson. I really don’t want to have to do that again.

I am no longer a pet tolerator, I am a pet “liker.” Who knows, maybe one day I’ll become a pet lover. Sammy’s one cute dog. I'll post a picture some other time. Blogger's giving me a hard time. Aaaarg.

The Christmas Turkey

I cooked a 40 pound turkey on Saturday. That's not a typo folks, it was 40 pounds. As you can see from the photo, it looks mighty big compared to the 500 ml pyrex measuring cup next to it. It took about 12 hours to cook in the oven. Fortunately, I have a big oven and a very large foil pan in which to bake this bird.

My sisters and I make lunch for all of the volunteers who work at Winnipeg Harvest every Monday. As you can imagine, there are plenty of turkeys (both the human and frozen kind) at the food bank this time of year and I thought it might be a nice idea to have hot turkey sandwiches for lunch. Michele had the "perfect" turkey for me. "It must be at least 40 pounds!" And she was right. This was one ugly bird but it was also surprisingly moist and tasty. I'm glad we went through the trouble to cook it even though a couple of smaller birds would have been easier to handle. Thank goodness for Wes who was so willing to lug that thing from my car to the back porch (my winter freezer), into the kitchen, into the oven, out of the oven, back into the oven...you get the picture.

The hot turkey sandwiches were a big hit. We made them last year too and they were so big that I actually got one marriage proposal and one "inquiry." Nothing so exciting happened this year although lunch was much appreciated by everyone.

The turkey that we cook for Christmas dinner will be a wee bit smaller and will require significantly less work. That's a good thing. I don't want to be cooking a 40 pounder too often.

What I Learned in 2005

Things with Kristen are settling down a bit. 2005 was a tough year for us. We fought, we simmered, we pouted. We saw a family therapist a few times who helped us to understand what was going on. That was very helpful.

In the last few months as I have been trying to process and further understand what has happened this year, I came to a few realizations.

1. For 24 of my 48 years, I have defined myself primarily as a mother. I have 4 children and they have been my pride and joy, my raison d'etre for most of my years. Just a few weeks ago, I realized that while the fact that I'm a mother hasn't changed, the reality of my parenting has changed dramatically. My children no longer need me as they did just a few short years ago. When they were younger, I was their primary care-giver, food supplier, nose blower, tear wiper and chauffeur. I was the first person they came to for advice and help. Today, each of my kids has a circle of people around them who support and encourage them and I am not necessarily the first person they turn to anymore. While I have known this in my head, I think I have finally accepted this in my heart.

2. I realized that while Ben and Eric were beginning their real independence during their teen years, I had Tim and Kristen who kept me busy and who occupied much of my time. While it was sometimes hard to deal with the independence of my 2 oldest sons, I didn't have a lot of time to process what was going on. Maybe I was just in denial-who knows. Now that Tim and Kristen are becoming more independent, I must deal with the reality of my changing role in their lives. I think that is a huge reason why Kristen and I have had our struggles. I have been having trouble letting go.

3. A very wise woman told me that all of our children have to find their own paths. I cannot send them down the road that I think they should go. God has a plan and a purpose for them, just as he does for me and while I can encourage them and love them, they need to decide where their journey will take them. Rather than taking them by the hand and leading them, I need to let go of them and cheer them on, even when I feel they are making some poor choices. I can be there for them when their choices cause them pain, but I cannot force them to do anything they don't want to do.

4. I learned this year that in all of my relationships, I have certain responsibilities to make those relationships work. I need to accept the flaws of other people, just as they accept my flaws. I need to realize that sometimes, the people closest to me can hurt me deeply but I forgive them because the relationship means too much to me to give up on it. And I am deeply grateful to the many people who continue to love me despite the hurt I have caused them. In all of my relationships, I can only be responsible for my part. I realized that this is true for my children too. Each one of them has some responsibility in their relationship with me. While I may desire for a deeper, closer relationship, I cannot expect or force my kids to get deeper and closer with me unless that is what they desire. I think that in some very subtle ways (and perhaps not so subtle ways!) I have tried to force something from them that they have been unable and unwilling to give.

I suppose that for some people the things I have learned are obvious. And they are, on one level, even to me. But the reality is, these are also hard lessons and I can be a slow learner.

I read a great quote the other day. "Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress." I believe that the pain we experience often causes us to look deep inside of us and (for me) to turn with greater urgency to Jesus Christ, the source of peace, hope and joy. The pain brings spiritual growth and a greater awareness of who we are and our purpose in this world.

My natural inclination is to run away from pain. As soon as it comes, I try to get rid of it as quickly as I can. I need to remind myself constantly that when the pain comes, if I face it with courage and determination, I can be sure that God will be right there with me. I don't need to get rid of it immediately. There's nothing wrong with living with the pain for a time. My God will bring comfort but he will also sit back and allowing me to struggle so that I can discover just what it is that he wants to teach me.

In my 12 Step group, some of the people introduce themselves by saying, "Hi, I'm _____ and I'm a grateful ______." I'm still not quite there yet but it is my hope that I can be grateful for the challenges in my life because they truly, draw me closer to God and bring a deeper sense of peace and contentment to my life.

The Things We Do For Our Kids

Thursday night, I was at the bar. Again. I've been to more bars in the last year than I ever went to during my youth. And I'm going to the bar for my children.

Last spring, Kristen's volleyball team had a fund raiser at "The Bicycle Club." While the athletes themselves were all too young to go to a bar, the parents had the opportunity to sell tickets to a "Bud, Spud and Steak" dinner. So, I invited 10 or more friends (actually, they were almost all family and we forced the 18 year old nephew to come too). I was so unsure of how to act at the bar, I had to ask Frank how to order a glass of wine. I know, I'm a cheap date. One glass of wine. It was fun because I was with a group of people that I liked to be with and most of us hadn't been to the bar in years.

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself at Coyotes, a bar in the south end of town. I, along with Wes and about 100 people who were young enough to be my children were there to cheer "our" band, Focus, in the "Battle of the Bands" competition. Did I feel out of place! If you ever want to experience feeling old, frumpy and totally out of your element, I suggest you go to a place like Coyotes. While I am not the kind of woman who has go to the washroom with someone else, I had to ask Jae to accompany me. I was afraid I would embarrass myself as I made my way to the washrooms. I needed someone young and hip to walk with me. She was happy to assist. Coyotes was loud and I had to endure 2 bands before Focus came on at 11:00, way past my bedtime. The good thing about that though, was that they were great and advanced to the next stage of the battle. They will play again on the 21st of December. Another good thing is that I actually like the Focus guys (especially my son, the cute drummer) and I enjoy their music.

So on Thursday, once again, I was at the bar. This time it was "Academy Bar and Grill." This was more my style. It is more like a funky restaurant than a bar and there weren't too many people there to make me feel old. The ocassion was "Academy Idol" and, you guessed it, Focus was playing. They had a great set. This was one show Kristen could attend so she was there along with CJ. Alvaro came along too so we had a bit of a family event.

So, 3 times at the bar in my 49th year. That's a record for me. I thought I left my bar hopping days behind me when I got married (although you could hardly describe my teenaged/young adult years as bar hopping years. I can remember 2 bar experiences from those days).

So, if you're looking for a place to go some evening, check out the Focus website. If they're playing somewhere, there's a good chance you'll see a 40 something couple looking like they just don't quite belong there. Come over and say hi. I just might buy you a drink.

Tree's Up!

I really love a beautifully decorated house for Christmas. And we have a huge, old house with 10 foot ceilings and I think that our house looks especially beautiful at Christmas time. So, while I love the house decorated, I do not enjoy doing the decorating. When the kids were young, everyone wanted to get in on the act and we would spend fun evenings together, each hanging our favourite ornaments. When they got a little older, they actually decorated on their own for a few years with just a little direction from me.

Fortunately for me I have a keener husband who, like me, enjoys a decorated house but unlike me, is willing to do the work. We are also back to a real tree. We had to get rid of our fake tree a couple of years ago and haven't got around to buying another one. I do love the real tree. As you can see, it's beautiful and the smell cannot be imitated by any spray, candle or potpourri.


You'll have to cock your head to the side to see this photo properly. I had to shoot it "corner to corner" so you could see the angel up top.

My Everyday Life

I think that I better post something before those of you who check this blog everyday give up on me. I'm around, I've enjoyed reading your posts and I've made a few comments here and there. I just haven't felt like there was much to write about. Life has been too busy lately (sorry for whining) and one of the first things to go when I get overwhelmed is my "fun time" on the computer. So, I'll write some random thoughts, just so you all know that I'm still alive and kicking.

-My sisters and I made lunch at Winnipeg Harvest a few days ago. We do this every Monday because we love cooking and we love the challenge of cooking at the food bank. The challenge is that we walk into the warehouse around 10:00 AM on Monday mornings and we decide the lunch menu based on what's available there. We never know! Yesterday, we cooked for about 75 people (including Tom Jackson) with only a microwave, 3 crockpots and a frying pan. The lunch menu consisted of cream of potato soup, pear salad with feta cheese and a meditteranean-style dressing, fresh fruit salad and BLTs.

Over the past 3 or so years, we have had grilled portobello mushrooms, cream of asparagus soup, and various curried dishes. We've made sandwiches with "egg salad" made out of tofu, Mexican style wraps and reuben sandwiches. We laugh at the irony that there are times we cook with foods in abundant supply at the food bank which we seldom purchase ourselves because of expense!

Many of the volunteers we cook for at Winnipeg Harvest are themselves clients of the food bank. They do not have a lot of opportunities to experience unique foods. So we try to highlight interesting flavours, spices and vegetables. We are proud of the fact that it was we who introduced sprouts to them. At first, people would remove the sprouts from their sandwiches or turn up their noses at them. Now, people just expect that they are part of the sandwiches we make and some have told us that they really enjoy them.

-Last week Thursday I went to Yvonne's to work on the sampler quilt that I am making. I was not very happy with the first block I made just over a month ago but I was very happy with the pinwheel blocks that I created this time around. It will probably take me a year to finish this quilt but that's okay. I'm enjoying this process. It is satisfying to spend an evening with a group of people, where nothing matters except for deciding what fabrics look best together and making straight 1/4 inch seams.

-Tonight I'm writing this post from the church. Very few people are coming out to participate on our "Wednesday Nights" and I don't have anything to do except lock up at the end of the evening. I'm glad I could take my computer along to catch up on my blogging. I am looking forward to my regular commitments coming to an end for the Christmas break.

-Last night Wes and I went to MTC (Manitoba Theatre Centre) to watch "A Christmas Carol." It was a great show with neat special effects (the ghost of Christmas Past actually flew with Scrooge). The costumes were excellent too.

-Tomorrow, I get to watch "Focus" (the band Tim is with) play at Academy Bar and Grill. It should be fun and because it is an all ages show, Kristen may be able to come by after her basketball game.

-Friday, it's off to Yvonne's to decorate cookies-women only. Yvonne excels at that kind of thing and at the end of the evening, we'll all be able to take home a dozen decorated cookies.

So, yeah, life is busy but life is good.

My problem

My problem is that I'm actually beginning to like CJ. He was here for supper one evening last week and we talked about world events and other important stuff. I was hoping that this would just be a summer "fling" for Kristen but it has now been going on for about 4 months.

What do I do now? What if they keep dating for months, or years? What if they break up in a couple of months. Do I stop liking him? Do I never see him again?

Do our children ever consider how their parents have to deal with a relationship?

Happy Birthday Eric #2

Here it is, a long overdue post about Eric, my second born, who turned 22 on November 10, 2005.

I think that being the second-born can be a bit of a challenge. The oldest child has already done a lot of the "firsts" and so the second child often feels like he/she needs to find a way to stand out. Eric stood out from the beginning. I like to brag about the fact that he was almost 11 pounds at birth. That's right. One ounce short of 11 pounds. They sent him to the intermediate care nursery at the hospital as soon as he was born because they wanted to keep an eye on him due to his size. When I went down to see him, it was no problem picking him out. He was the healthy looking, full term baby in a room with all of the other wee 5 pound or less babies.

Eric was the absolute cutest baby around. I know. You all think your kids are cute but Eric stood out. White blond hair, chubby pink cheeks and beautiful blue eyes. (I still think he's cute)

Eric, I have always appreciated your imagination and creativity. You would solicit the help of your younger siblings to create plays and dramas. We even have "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" on a VHS tape. It's such fun to watch. You produced, narrated, directed and acted and you got Tim and Kristen to join in the fun too.

You have always had a sensitive side. There is something within your spirit that draws children. I just loved it when little, 2 year old Micah would call you "Ericmyfriend." Even today, Micah's 9 and he and his little buddies consider you their friend. There is a gentleness and approachability that you have that allows children to feel comfortable and accepted in your presence. You will make a great dad one day.

One of the ways you've had to stand out in this family is your decision to follow the drama/music path in your life. You actually were a pretty good volleyball player and athlete in juniour high but you chose to pursue the artistic side of your personality. I am so proud of you for doing that and for investing your time and energy into your music. And look where it's gotten you! I can't wait to hear Aslan's Child. I'm glad that you are really enjoying your participation in that group.

I also appreciate your willingness to follow your own path. Ever since you were able to communicate, you could not be forced into anything you didn't want to do. Sometimes, that created some tension between you and I when you were little but it is a character trait that will continue to stand you in good stead. Did you know that Eric means "honourable ruler?" A leader with integrity and honour-that's you.

I am pleased that you are working so hard these days to get your communications degree. You are taking a full course load and you are working at Aqua-Tech. You're impacting the lives of children in the GNF Children's Community and you are part of Aslan's Child. You have filled your life with important, "eternal" things and I am so proud of you for making those choices and decisions.

I am excited about what God has in store for you, in your 23rd year. In the bible Jeremiah 29: 11-13 says: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"

That is my hope and prayer for you Eric.

Love,
Mom

(P.S. Jeremiah 29: 6 says, "Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters." Eric, I know this really cute girl...)

Happy Birthday Eric!

It was Eric's birthday on Nov. 10 and as you can all see, I haven't posted in a while. This post will be short but I wanted you all to know that I haven't forgotten his birthday. How can a mother forget the birth of a child? Not me; but it was an icredibly busy week, culminating in a wonderful weekend retreat. I will post a blog about Eric around the end of this week I hope. There isn't enough time for me to write what I'd like about him and as I'm leaving tomorrow to go on a 5 day conference, I won't have time to write anything today.

So Eric, I haven't forgotten. See you next weekend!

At the risk of offending dog lovers everywhere...

Is this not the craziest thing you've heard of yet? I'm speechless. This time, I really don't know what to say.

It Worked For Michele...

Micah,
Please Post
I LOVED your eye test.

Can you tell me a joke?
Or a story about school?
I miss your blogs.
I wannna know about your life.

My Trip Downtown

We have been down to one car for about 4 weeks now. It’s a long story and I won’t bore you with the details but it all started when Wes rear-ended someone on his way home from work on October 3. Owning an older vehicle is like owning an older home. As soon as you start on one job, you discover many others that need doing.

As a result of this inconvenience, I’ve been taking the bus more often lately. It’s been good for me and I have felt quite smug and self-righteous about doing my part for the “One Tonne Challenge” by using public transit.

I have learned a thing or two about bus etiquette and I will post a list of things that I feel need to be addressed. Keep in mind that I do not use the bus during rush hour. I generally end up riding the bus between the hours of 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM along with old ladies, homeless people, some university students, and various people who do not look like they are gainfully employed.

Here’s my list. Unfortunately for me, the people who should be reading this list will not recognize themselves but it feels good for me to get it off my chest anyway. Maybe I should print it up and post it on the bus shelters…

1. Please make sure you are at the bus stop a good minute before the bus is scheduled to arrive. That way we won’t have to wait for you as you attempt to run to catch the bus.

2. Have your ticket/bus pass/money ready so that you can deposit it into the thingy as soon as you get on the bus.

3. If the bus is full and you are standing in the aisle, move aside for me when I’m trying to make my way to the door. And hold onto the pole please, not the handles that hang from the ceiling of the bus. I don’t want to stand under your armpit.

4. This leads me to the most important point of all, TAKE A BATH before you plan to ride the bus. Don’t you notice that I am gagging, holding my nose and trying to stay down-wind of you?

5. If you are not too steady on your feet, don’t stand up to leave until the bus stops. That would save you from falling onto my lap as you are struggling to walk while the bus is moving.

6. If you are chubby and are sharing a seat with me, it is important to clench your butt muscles and make yourself as small as possible to avoid touching my butt.

7. You might enjoy the music on your Discman but I’m not. Keep the volume down!

8. This one is serious folks. If a woman with a baby, an elderly person with a cane or anyone else who should be seated comes on the bus, GIVE THEM YOUR SEAT! Whatever happened to common courtesy? I am appalled at the young people especially, who will not give up their seats for some of these people.

Our van should be ready some time this week. It will be a little easier for me to get around once I have sole use of the car. It’s been good for me though, to have rubbed shoulders (or butts) with people using public transit. It struck me as ironic one day as I was taking the bus to meet with Wes and our financial planner to talk about RRSPs and investments that I was sharing my seat with a smelly, homeless man who was carrying his possessions in a back pack.

Life can seem mighty strange sometimes.
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Happy Birthday Kristen!

My “baby” turns 17 today. Yup. Halloween day. She was born around 5:00 PM, right around the time that my poor, stressed out mom was dressing up 3 little boys in their respective costumes and attempting to respond to the calls of “Halloween apples!” by the front door. She managed, I managed and she was even able to come to the hospital and visit me after the evenings festivities were over.

This post is dedicated to Kristen Elise Postma, my one and only, my beloved daughter.

When I was pregnant with my fourth child people would often ask me if I was hoping for a girl. I always said no, that I would be happy with either sex. And that was true. But when you were born I realized that having a little girl was really a bonus for me. I truly would have been happy with a boy but it has been a real treat having another “girl” in the house.

Kristen, I have always admired your discipline and perseverance. You seldom procrastinate. You are one of the few people I know (your dad’s another one) who will start on a project when it is assigned and not wait until the day before it is due. I think that is one of the reasons that you have always been on the honour roll at school.

Perhaps because you were the youngest or perhaps because you were the only girl, you always felt that it was important for you to let your brothers know that you could not be “pushed around.” You expressed yourself clearly and strongly and they responded to that.

You have always had an independent nature. You could not be easily convinced to do something that you didn’t want to do. While that caused (and at times still causes) some difficulties between you and I, I know that this is a wonderful trait for you to have. You will decide to do something because you want to do it and not because someone else says you should. Do you remember the time when Tim cut his finger and needed stitches? One of the ways you asserted your independence was by not wanting to wear socks. Well, when you heard that you had to join your dad to take Tim to the hospital, I was shocked as to how quickly you could find a pair of socks and put them on. You were ready to go in record time.

You always loved to do crafts. The messier, the better. Finger paints, papier-mâché. Remember the time Tim had a project due on a Monday and (unlike you) didn’t start it until the day before? The project was a relief map including rivers, a mountain and various other geographical features. This is something that we knew he could never finish on his own so you got in there and with great enthusiasm, helped him with his project. He got an excellent grade on it too, thanks in a large part to you.

Another thing I admire about you is your determination. When you decide you want to do something, you will do it until you are satisfied with the outcome. Remember that you wanted to learn how to play the song from the Titanic, “My Heart Will Go On and On?” I tried to convince you that there was no way you could learn it but you kept asking me and asking me until I finally began to teach it to you. I was sure that you’d get bored before too long and give up. Well, I taught it to you one measure at a time and sure enough, you learned how to play the whole song. I was, and still am amazed that you learned it and that you played it so well!

It has been such a pleasure to watch you grow up. You have made many wise choices over the years and some not so wise choices. But you have learned from your mistakes and that takes real wisdom and maturity. You have taught me much about myself and while that has been hard for me, it has been good too. You have reminded me that I can trust you, that you can make good and wise decisions. You have graciously forgiven me when I have not treated you as I should have. You have been patient with me when I have had trouble letting go.

These 17 years have been quite a ride for us, wouldn’t you say? I’m looking forward to this year, your eighteenth. It will be a big year. You’ll probably get your licence, experience you first kiss (oh no, you’ve probably already had that) the grad retreat and then graduation-gown, hair, nails, makeup… You’ll need to decide what you’re going to do next year too. You’ll be experiencing lots of big changes.

Just remember, your dad and I will always be here for you. We might not always agree with what you do or the decisions you make, but we’ll always stand by you and stand up for you. We will have some hard times. But my love for you will stand the test of time-of that I’m certain. We’ve weathered storms in the past and we will survive whatever comes our way. You are my daughter and I love you.

Happy Birthday!

Sweetest Words

The sweetest, kindest words that can be spoken to me on a Saturday morning when I have once again, left the grocery shopping to the weekend.
"Would you like help out with your bags ma'am?"
Sigh.