Happy Birthday Ben!

I was going to begin this post by saying, "This post should have been written on October 6..." but I am trying my best not to use words like "should, must, have to" and others. They are often referred to as "absolutes" and I use them far too much.

It was Ben's birthday on October 6. My oldest son was born on October 6, 1981 at approximately 8:00 AM. That was the first of only 2 times he has kept me up all night. The second time was not his fault. I suppose the first time wasn't his fault either.

Ben's always been a great son. (Oh no. My first "absolute." I'll keep it in though. Even though we've had our differences, he's always been a great son.) I remember in the year he was born we had a beautiful fall and we spent many happy hours together, he in his pram (Yes. I had a pram) and me pushing it. For about 2 years Ben was an only child and he went everywhere with Wes and I. As long as he had his blankie (yeah, can you imagine Ben with a blankie?) he would settle down and fall asleep anywhere.

Ben was unique from most other children in that when it was time to clean up, he actually did. The caregivers in the church nursery would often tell me that when it was time to clean up, Ben would actually listen and clean up. All the other children would put one or two things away but Ben would get right into it. He's always been a really hard worker. I remember the time when he was probably 8 or 9 and we were expecting Wes's parents for a visit. They were driving from Ontario and ended up coming one day sooner than we expected. I was in a panic. Wes' mom is a dear, sweet woman and she keeps an immaculate house. My house was (is) never immaculate and that day especially, it was a mess. I gathered up the kids (ages 9, 7, 4 and 3) and told them that grampa and gramma were coming IN TWO HOURS. They must have sensed that this was a huge deal for me and they all cleaned up like troopers. Ben however, led the way and I was amazed that he actually saw what needed to be done, without my direction, and then did it. I will always be grateful to him for that.

Ben was involved in volleyball and basketball while he attended school and excelled at both sports. His work ethic was apparent in the way he played sports too. He was focussed and worked hard at doing what had to be done in order to win games. His attitude was good too. He was not in the habit of bad mouthing other teams, refs, or people. In that way Ben has a very balanced attitude towards everything in life. A great character trait to have.

This year, he has turned 25. It is wonderful to see many of the positive character traits I saw already so many years ago develop and grow. He is married to a lovely woman, works hard at his job and volunteers at church. I see him at least twice a week and still enjoy his company. Our relationship is changing. I feel less like a mother who has to take care of him and more like an equal, although sometimes I'd like to take a comb to his hair and razor to his whiskers...

It's been quite a trip. When I held him in my arms 25 years ago, I never gave a thought to what life would be like having an adult for a son. While much about him has changed, it amazes me that my love for him remains as strong and fierce as it did the day he was born. I think that will always be the same.

And so, I'd like to wish a happy birthday to Ben. It is my hope and prayer that this year will bring you great joy, happiness and peace. That wish will always be the same.