When I was a teenager, I read a poem by Rudyard Kipling called "If." "If you can keep your head while all those around you are losing theirs..." was the phrase that caught my eye. This past year the phrase kept coming back to me and I felt that God, in the gentle way that God works, was telling me that this might be the year that I could focus on those words. And so I gave God permission to lead me along a path that would teach me about being a calm, peace loving influence in the middle of chaos.
The interesting thing is that if you ask for patience or the ability to remain calm and peaceful during chaos, God doesn't often just "give" you calm and peace, he tends to send chaos so that you can learn the things you ask for.
To say this has been a chaotic year would be a pretty good description of the last 8 months or so. The chaos that has been most prevalent has been the renovations of this old house. It is a much bigger project than any of us anticipated. We've lived with mud, plaster dust, drywall dust, tradespeople, hopes and expectations of a completion date, moving boxes, beds, appliances from one spot to another and then back to their original spot. I think that the biggest challenge for me has been the fact that home has not been the sanctuary that home usually is for me.
I was asking God one day how I could keep perspective and a peaceful spirit in all of this chaos. And then it hit me. I am getting exactly what I have been asking for. Have I handled it in the calm peaceful way I would have liked? Sometimes.
I'm glad that life is almost back to normal. I think that I have learned a thing or two about tolerating chaos. I think that I was able to "keep my head" most of the time. I appreciate more than ever the peace and security of a home, something that so many people in this world do not experience.
And to be honest, I'll miss having the workers around. A little bit of chaos keeps life interesting. But just a little bit. I'll enjoy the peace and quiet for now.
1 comment:
It is funny how it works sometimes, isn't it? It makes me think of a song I love with lyrics that say, "What I thought I wanted/What I got instead/It leaves me broken yet peaceful. (Sara Groves)
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