Chats with Myself

I had a chat today with my 80 year old self. There were a few things I wanted to ask her about and hoped that she could give me some clarity on what's happening in my life right now. Here is her advice.

Linda, stop obsessing about your weight and body image. Get out and move. Ride your bike, go cross country skiing and don't worry so much about how you look. Do spend some time (but not too much) on your hair, makeup and wearing clothes that flatter you. You will feel better about yourself and your beauty will shine through. Incidentally, I love your new glasses.

Watch your posture. Stand straight and for heaven's sake, call your physiotherapist to find out why your back hurts so much in the mornings. And finish reading that book you took out of the library, "Pain Free for Women." There is a lot of good stuff in there. Follow through on finding a Yoga class. That did wonders for me. God needs you and you must care for your body so that you can be healthy and strong.

If you have a dream, follow it. I've spent too many years thinking of all the reasons why I couldn't do something that I had a dream about. Do you remember that time in our bedroom, I think we were about 18 years old, when we had a clear thought that we might like to become a pastor? And then the second thought that told us we couldn't? We should have listened to the first thought because you and I both know that it was God's voice. I know we're okay with it all. We've talked to God about it, confessed our fear of risks and all that. He understands. But you know, he is still calling you to ministry. I know because I was 50 thirty years ago. Don't waste these next 30 years thinking you're too old to follow God's calling. Thirty years is a long time to follow something you're passionate about. I can't tell you the journey that he's taking you on right now because you wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much if I told you exactly what was going to happen and there are things you need to learn on your own. I would just say continue on the path of spirituality, of contemplation and leadership. That is where God will speak to you, when you slow down, speak less and listen more.

I'm so glad that we've learned to laugh and I can tell you that you will laugh more and more. God will also lead you into a few "dark night of the soul" times. I'm so glad that we finally figured out by this time that it is not really a bad place for us to be. I'm glad that we realized in our 50s that God works most powerfully when we are at our weakest and it is through our trials and struggles that we grow closer to him, if we let him take us through it.

I'm getting a little tired now Linda. I think I'll have to go take a little nap. I'm glad that we learned years ago that a little afternoon nap is good for the soul and the body. I'd love it if you came to visit with me again and we can talk some more.

The next 30 years will be awesome!

A New Activity

When I first moved to the Prairies in 1979 (was it that long ago?) I thought the landscape here in central Canada was boring. Flat was all I saw. It took a few years before I really began to appreciate and love this land. Today I see so much more and while I love the beauty of my home province, I'm always happy to come back to Manitoba. Over the years we've had international students living with us and all of them have indicated to us that they would love to ski while they were here. They assume that because there is snow, there is an opportunity to ski. They don't realize until they actually come here that the landscape is pretty flat and there are not too many places for them to hone their skills.

Wes and I enjoyed downhill skiing when we were in our late teens and early twenties partly because there were plenty of hills near our homes. I enjoyed the speed and the thrill of being just barely in control as I raced down the hill. I remember getting up early in the morning so that we could be on the hill as soon as it opened and then staying until closing. Sometimes I'd wake up the next morning a little stiff and perhaps a little bruised but never bad enough to make me want to stop skiing.

I've gone skiing a few times since I moved to the prairies but not often. There aren't a lot of ski hills here because the prairies are, well, flat. One of our hills is called Holiday Mountain-not really a mountain but a valley and Assissippi, a new ski resort is a good 4 hour drive away.

The last time I went skiing, there was no speed or rush. I snowploughed my way down the hill and only spent a couple of hours on the hill. I think that caution and the fear of falling and hurting myself has replaced my need for speed. I suppose that can happen as you get older.

Tonight, Wes and I will attend our first of four cross country skiing lessons. I think that my days of downhill skiing may be over but cross country skiing might get me outside a little more in the winter, provide some good excercise for us and keep us in shape for biking, once the snow melts.

Most of the people I know who cross country ski, love it. My son Tim thinks I should try snow boarding. Most of the people I know who snow board, love it. However, I see snowboarders on their butts far more often than I see cross country skiiers on their butts. I prefer to stay on my feet.

I'll let you know how it goes.