Happy Father's Day

I wondered how it happened that Father's Day came to be. The cynical part of me thought that it was probably instituted by Hallmark or maybe WalMart. But I was wrong.

Sonora Dodd, of Washington, first had the idea of a "father's day." She thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.

Sonora wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. Smart, who was a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state.

After Sonora became an adult she realized the selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

President Calvin Coolidge, in 1924, supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Then in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day. President Richard Nixon signed the law which finally made it permanent in 1972.

That's a good story. I think that Sonora had the right idea and creating a day where she could acknowlege the selflessness of her dad was a generous, thoughtful, loving gesture.

I wonder what she would think of Father's Day in 2005?

The flyers that came to my door last week were full of "suggestions" for dad. Weeks before the big day we are reminded that it is coming and that we need to buy something for dad to show him our love. If we don't or can't afford to buy something, we can easily feel like selfish, ungrateful children.

I wonder what Sonora bought her dad for Father's day. I have a feeling that it wasn't a tool, a barbeque, shirt, new pants or golf clubs. I have a feeling that Father's day for Mr. Smart was a day where he experienced the love and appreciation of his children.

All my dad got from me for Father's day was a phone call. I don't send him cards because they are too sappy. We're not "like that."

I think that the only thing my dad really needs from me is love and acceptance and when I am reminded that I don't call often enough, I need to remember why he's saying that. It's because he wants to connect with me, even when we talk about the mundane things like weather, his garden and the volunteer work that he does.

There are scars in our relationship. But they are no longer open, painful, festering wounds. The passage of time has brought much healing. Sometimes though, my scars itch and burn, especially when I knock them on something harsh. And the ones where the nerves were cut never heal completely. Those kind always feel weird, especially when I bang them. At those times, I need to remember how far dad and I have come, I need to remember the pain and I need to let it go again.